This Ninja Won't Be Hokage
Chapter 28

Summoning: Shimura Bing San, the Air Conditioner

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Ever since Orochimaru had pulled the Sand Shinobi out of their stronghold last time, their offensive had been completely thrown into disarray.

Having lost the strongholds that had supported one another, the Sand Shinobi were forced to halt their offensive and wait for reinforcements at their main camp.

Bing San watched with a look of utter despair as Orochimaru slapped Explosive Tags onto his clone. "Teacher Orochimaru, isn't this going a bit too far?

"The Chiyo Siblings have already holed up on the defensive. Isn't this a little much?"

Orochimaru gave a sinister smile. "Bing San, forget whether it's proper or not. If it helps us defeat the Sand Shinobi, it's a good tactic.

"Go on. As long as you can draw their troops out to chase you, you'll be Konoha's hero!"

Orochimaru's Shadow Clone summoned away Bing San's innocent-looking clone. Outside the Sand Shinobi camp, the agile clone wasn't worried in the least. In fact, he almost felt like laughing.

A group of Ninja stood at the entrance to the Sand Shinobi camp, staring at Bing San, who was covered in Explosive Tags. Not one of them so much as reacted.

With no other choice, Bing San switched into his cursing-like-a-sailor mode, cursing until the Chiyo Siblings' veins bulged. But they were afraid of taking losses and didn't dare leave the camp, so all they could do was stew in anger as they waited for reinforcements.

In the end, Bing San's clone spent the entire day hurling abuse without disappearing, driving the Sand Shinobi into a fury.

Left with no alternative, Bing San played the part of a martyr for a while, then blew up the entrance to the Chiyo family camp with a tremendous boom.

During this time, two major events took place in the Shinobi World. The first was the AB team from Kumogakure: the Raikage and his partner led three hundred elite Ninja in a surprise raid on the Land of Rivers, making off with a huge amount of food.

The amusing part was that on the way, they ran into Ninja led by Kitsuchi of the Land of Earth. The two sides had a brief skirmish and suffered few losses, but half the food the Raikage had seized was stolen. Enraged, the Raikage confronted the Tsuchikage.

The second event was that Hanzo of the Land of Rain abandoned the isolationist policy he had followed for years and chose to trade with the Great Nations. He hoped to use the war to build up his country's strength by selling food and Ninja tools.

But Hanzo seemed to have forgotten that the Five Great Nations were all wolves. How could they sincerely cooperate with a dog guarding its own walls? Revealing one's weakness to a thief was a sure way to invite disaster.

Summer came in time, and another name was added to Bing San's Summoning Scroll: Senju Moriwa. She was one of the few elite Ninja the Senju Clan had managed to retain.

Because of the Second Hokage's policies, the Senju Clan had dissolved all its branches apart from the Main Family, turning them into ordinary villagers of Konoha.

The Second Hokage's vision had been truly shrewd. By now, more than half of Konoha's civilian Ninja had some connection to the Senju. If the Second Hokage hadn't died, in no more than twenty years Konoha would have become the Senju Clan Compound. What a shame.

This Senju elite Ninja was one of the few who had kept her surname. She was the daughter of Hashirama Senju, the First Hokage, Tsunade Hime's mother, and the Daimyo's wife's personal guard.

After learning that Bing San had such a special clone, the Third Hokage made sure to send word to the Daimyo's Mansion, along with a Summoning Scroll.

The Land of Fire lay in the subtropics, and summer lasted six months every year. The weather was unbearably hot whenever the season came around. Now that they had an artificial air conditioner, they naturally had to make good use of it.

And so Bing San's three special clones began a life of "constant wandering." One moment they might be handing out ice to the influential members of Konoha's great clans, and the next they'd be at the Daimyo's Mansion cooling things down.

Or they might be summoned away in the middle of the night to go up against Pakura, or to apply ice to injured Ninja.

Bing San rubbed his bloodshot eyes and yawned as he came out of his tent.

The sun was already high overhead, but the Ninja passing by didn't make fun of him. On the contrary, they all gave him a friendly smile when they saw him.

Once a lucky charm and a target Konoha had sent to the Land of Wind, he was now a strategic resource.

It was fair to say that his Ice Release specialization had changed Bing San's fate as cannon fodder.

But then Bing San's vision suddenly shifted. He realized his intellectual clone had been summoned away again. At first, he assumed it was for making ice or cooling something down.

But when he took a closer look, he found himself in the bedroom of Tsunade's mother at the Daimyo's Mansion. They had just replenished the ice there last week. Why had they summoned him again so soon? Had they come up with some new way to use him?

These nobles sure knew how to have fun. Last time, they'd actually wanted to deep-fry ice cubes. What on earth went through their heads?

"Bing San, sorry for the trouble. You have to save the madam this time." While Bing San was still lost in thought, Moriwa grabbed him by the arm.

Bing San was bewildered. "What happened, Aunt Moriwa? Take your time and explain."

Senju Moriwa pulled Bing San inside, weeping as she walked. "The madam is gravely ill. It's been over a month now. We've invited many famous doctors to treat her, but none of them could help.

"We even called in a high-ranking monk from the Temple of Fire. He's a very skilled medical Ninja, but even he couldn't do anything.

"Now the madam refuses to take her medicine, and we can't find Tsunade Hime. The Daimyo won't let us make her condition public. I'm at my wits' end, so I had no choice but to ask you for help. Please, think of something to save her."

Bing San didn't have any good ideas either. What could he do? People were born, grew old, got sick, and died. Bing San scratched his head. "I'm not a medical Ninja, and I don't know anything about medicine." Then he thought of something.

With the desperate hope that it might work, Bing San took out a pitch-black pill and handed it to Senju Moriwa. "I happened to come across this medicine. I don't know if it'll work, but it shouldn't do any harm."

Bing San had actually gotten the pill from a lottery draw. It was a very useful medicine. But he always sent out clones to show off, so he'd never had a chance to use it.

Small Returning Pill: A secret Shaolin remedy. Effect: Restores 10% of life, then restores 1% each day for the next fifteen days. Can only be used once per year. (Note: From the master of a certain Lion King. How could anything I do with my Hunyuan Thunderbolt Hand be called stealing? It's borrowing, understand?)

Senju Moriwa clutched the pill as if it were a treasure, then led Bing San into the bedroom. The room smelled of medicine, and Tsunade's mother was coughing softly.

This was the same woman who had once wasted a Sealing Scroll on sealing a doll. Now she lay on her sickbed, her face pale and bloodless.

Her once glossy, beautiful hair had withered to gray. Her formerly smooth skin was now wrinkled, and her once-radiant face was creased with fine lines.

The warmth and brightness she'd once radiated were gone. Now she looked like an old tree on the verge of dying.

"So it's you. You've come. Don't be sad. Cough, cough. Everyone grows old, falls ill, and dies.

"Even my father, a great Ninja, ended up bedridden in the end, didn't he? Cough, cough. Come here, let Auntie have a look at you. Little Bing San has grown up so much. Why are you crying like a girl?" After speaking, Tsunade's mother gently patted Bing San on the head, just as she had the first time they met.

Bing San wiped away the tears at the corners of his eyes and gently rested his hand on hers. Her hand was hot and stiff.

Bing San slowly released his Chakra, bringing a little comfort to the woman who had once been so warm and gentle. Before long, she fell into a peaceful sleep. It was clear she hadn't had a proper rest in a long time.

Senju Moriwa secretly crushed the pill into powder and mixed it into some water, planning to trick the woman into drinking it when she woke up. She had refused to take medicine for a long time.

Afterward, Bing San's other clones summoned his intellectual clone back to his home in Konoha. He felt he had to tell the Third Hokage about something this serious. If Tsunade's mother died, it would have a huge impact on Konoha and the war. If the Daimyo decided to do something, the consequences could spread far and wide.

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