Siwei Yan's mouth twitched slightly.
For some reason, every time he heard his captain say something like "I won't take up too much of your time" in that stern, upright face of his,
Yan Siwei's mind would uncontrollably conjure up a bizarre image of the captain collapsing to the ground, foaming at the mouth, the very next second.
What a terrible thought... He hurriedly shook his head, forcefully casting the disrespectful "stereotype" from his mind.
In all fairness, after all these years together, Yan Siwei genuinely respected Captain Kensei Muguruma.
The captain always had the bearing of a big brother, like a chivalrous hero from an older age, and took good care of every member of the squad.
Even when dealing with a slacker like him, who was always shirking work and cutting corners, Captain Kensei would at most scold him with a stern face. He had never actually punished him.
Yan Siwei put on an obedient smile and hurried over to stand in front of Kensei.
"Captain, what exactly did you need me for? If Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro sent you to nag me about updating my story again..."
He spread his hands, wearing an expression that said, Your humble servant simply can't do it.
"You know how it is. A writer's gotta eat, too. Nobody's reading Hell Girl, and the numbers have plummeted straight through the earth's crust. If I keep writing it, I won't even be able to afford a drink of White Burn."
At the mention of the lieutenant, the stern look on Kensei Muguruma's face flickered with helplessness.
He shook his head slightly and said softly, "That's not the whole reason, but... she does have something to do with it."
He raised his head again, his gaze regaining its usual seriousness.
"You know tomorrow is the day the Central Spirit Arts Academy graduates choose their squads. By tradition, I should go in person..."
He paused to think for a moment, but then went ahead and said it.
"But Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro decided at the last minute that she wants to go on an outing to the outskirts of West Rukongai tomorrow, and specifically asked me to go with her."
"Ohhh!" Yan Siwei understood immediately.
He deliberately drew out the sound, narrowed his eyes to slits, and gave his captain a meaningful look without saying another word.
Well, well! So in your heart, going on an outing with the lieutenant matters more than bringing fresh blood into the squad, huh?!
Though Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro was indeed a genius, having earned her position less than two years after graduating, who could say how much of that had to do with Captain Kensei's personal feelings?
Besides, even if Lieutenant Shiro really was going on an outing, weren't there still a Third Seat and a Fourth Seat in the squad?
No matter how you looked at it, it shouldn't fall to a little Fifth Seat like me to represent the Ninth Division at recruitment!
And besides... Captain Hirako of the Fifth Division had just "warned" him not to go to the academy. If he ran into him tomorrow, how awkward would that be?
Of course, Yan Siwei didn't dare say a single word of those outrageous complaints out loud. He condensed all his protest and disdain into his narrowed eyes and peculiar expression.
Kensei Muguruma remained calm, seemingly long accustomed to Yan Siwei's silent protests.
He changed the subject and offered him another option.
"If you don't want to go to the academy, that's fine. There are plenty of squad duties piling up at the barracks that need to be handled..."
He pointed toward the squad barracks' corner, where the records room still glowed faintly despite the late hour, and said evenly,
"You can go hand things over with the Third Seat right now. Starting tomorrow, you'll be in charge of everything."
Yan Siwei's expression changed at once. He hurriedly put on his brightest smile and thumped his chest.
"Don't do that, Captain! The Third Seat's so tight-lipped you couldn't get a peep out of him with three sticks. How's he supposed to recruit anyone for us? This is a responsibility that concerns the squad's future. Leave it to me! I promise I'll find a way to lure— I mean, recruit a few geniuses for the squad!"
Squad duties? That meant a mountain of paperwork three stories tall, piling up every day!
Even if he didn't read a word, just stamping the whole lot would wear out his hand!
Compared to that, facing Captain Hirako's death stare was nothing!
"No need for geniuses." Kensei Muguruma shot him a sidelong glance, his disdain unmistakable.
"If we get a few more 'geniuses' like Kyunnan Shiro and you, the Ninth Division won't be far from disbanding."
Yan Siwei was used to that look by now. He hurriedly turned and made for his room, strolling away at a brisk pace as he tried to play it off.
"Then it's settled, Captain! Leave tomorrow's recruiting to me!"
He picked up his pace and hurried off. Better to get back to his room and sleep before he ran into any more "accidents."
Bang!
Yan Siwei slammed the door shut and finally breathed a sigh of relief.
Muttering, "Finally got out of that," he reached to loosen the sash of his Shinigami uniform.
But as his gaze swept across the room, he abruptly froze.
In an instant, he straightened up. His left hand seemed to casually brush the dust from his clothes, while his right hand silently reached for the hilt of his Zanpakutō.
He slowly turned to face the darkest corner of the room. At the same time, he cautiously began edging backward, toward the door.
Shing!
The next second, he drew his sword in a flash!
The gleaming blade cut a cold arc through the dim room, pointing straight at the corner.
"Who's there?! You've got some nerve, sneaking into the Ninth Division barracks at night!" Yan Siwei's voice was icy.
"Captain Kensei is right outside. Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
He paused. Feeling the door press firmly against his back gave him a little more confidence, and he quietly nudged it with his heel, trying to hook it open.
"Come out on your own, and I might still talk this out with you. If you really alert Captain Kensei, you'll be spending a few days eating free meals in the jail at the back!"
Click.
The door eased open, and a shaft of bright moonlight streamed through the gap, illuminating the shadowy corner.
In the corner, moonlight outlined the shape of a small, fluffy black creature.
"Meow?"
A pitch-black cat sat there, head tilted as it looked over at him with its brilliant golden eyes, as innocent as could be.
It even raised one front paw, stuck out its pink tongue, and languidly licked it. It was utterly adorable.
Yan Siwei seemed to relax at the sight. He slowly sheathed his Zanpakutō and smiled.
"What? So it's just a little stray cat that got lost..."
However, he didn't close the door. Instead, he flung it wide open!
Then he abruptly turned and shouted toward the courtyard.
"Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro! Come take a look! There's an unbelievably cute little black cat in my room!!!"
Oh, crap! That's no cat! That's a world of trouble!
How did Miss Yoruichi of the Shihoin Clan end up here?!
But as the saying went, wherever a poisonous snake appeared, the antidote could be found within seven steps!
The black cat, which had been licking its paw, froze. A flicker of confusion passed through its golden eyes, then gave way to overwhelming terror!
"Meowwww!!!"
It let out a shrill scream, its four paws pushing off at once as it shot out of the corner like a black bolt of lightning.
Its sleek, powerful form, bathed in moonlight, was beautiful as a phantom.
But just as it was about to leap into the air and vault over the outer wall—
A petite figure appeared out of nowhere, moving even faster. She caught the cat in midair and hugged it tightly to her chest.
"Oh! You really are so cute! Where did you come from, little darling? Did you get lost? Come here and let big sister hold you~"
Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro had appeared at some point.
She was still wearing her Shinigami uniform loosely. With both arms, she held the struggling black cat tightly against her, rubbing her cheek hard against its head and completely ignoring its desperate "meow, meow" protests.
The black cat was terrified. It kicked wildly with all four paws, twisting with all its might to break free. It turned toward Yan Siwei and pleaded with him in a miserable wail.
"Meow—!"
Yan Siwei! You bastard!!
"Aww, is the kitty hungry? Don't be scared, don't be scared. Big sister has lots of delicious snacks in her room~"
Kyunnan Shiro paid no mind to the black cat's desperate resistance. Delighted, she turned and carried it toward her room.
After taking a couple of steps, she seemed to remember something and looked back at Yan Siwei with an impossibly radiant smile.
"Little Siwei! Remember to update two chapters of Hell Girl after I get back from my outing tomorrow~! Otherwise... hehe!"
"Yes! I'll make sure it's done! Good night, Lieutenant!" Yan Siwei instantly snapped to attention, stood up straight, and gave a perfectly crisp salute as he watched Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro "kidnap" the black cat, which kept wailing as she took it to her room.
Only after the door clicked shut did Yan Siwei finally relax and let out a long breath.
He pressed his palms together and made a few random bows toward Kyunnan Shiro's room, muttering to himself,
"Homage to the heavens... may the door gods protect me."
As far as he knew, not a single small animal that had been "loved" by Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro had ever emerged from her room "unscathed."
Even the famous "future Flash God," Yoruichi Shihōin, probably wouldn't escape that fate!
Yan Siwei hurried back to his room, slammed the door shut once more, then anxiously shoved the heavy wardrobe across the room and wedged it firmly against the door.
Only after doing all that did he finally feel safe enough to collapse onto his bed.
As he drifted toward sleep, he seemed to faintly hear the humiliating, despairing yowls of a cat coming from a room in the distance.
The sound was so beautiful, so soothing.
Yan Siwei rolled over with a peaceful smile and slept even more soundly.