"Take care, Captains! You're welcome to visit again anytime!"
With a warm smile on his face, Siwei Yan stood at the entrance to the Ninth Division barracks and watched Unohana Retsu and Kurayashiki Kenpachi disappear around the street corner.
Then he abruptly turned and strode back into the courtyard.
Facing Kensei Muguruma, who was still standing at the side hall's entrance, he couldn't keep his voice from rising:
"Captain! My dear captain! What are you trying to do to me?"
He held out both hands and began counting on his fingers, trying to reason with his captain:
"Think about it. Our Ninth Division has countless daily responsibilities: prison management, paperwork, preliminary interrogations, personnel assignments... which of those can do without me?
Tell me, without a diligent Fifth Seat like me, who's going to do all that work? Surely..."
He deliberately paused, drawing out his words. "You're not going to rely on our lieutenant, are you?"
Kensei Muguruma's eyebrows and eyelids twitched.
He truly couldn't understand where the man before him found the nerve to apply phrases like "diligent" and "handling daily responsibilities" to himself with such brazen confidence.
Yes, Kensei Muguruma admitted that he sometimes temporarily left the barracks to escape Kyunnan Shiro's pestering.
But he could swear with his hand on his heart that, apart from his six hours of intense physical and reiatsu training each day, he devoted every ounce of his remaining energy to division affairs!
And what about this Fifth Seat Yan Si standing before him?
Thinking carefully over all the years since the man had graduated and joined the Ninth Division, Kensei Muguruma couldn't recall a single day when he had actually sat down and worked from morning until night!
He was always either hiding in his room writing who knew what, sneaking off to Runlin An for drinks, or taking leave under all manner of bizarre excuses to slack off.
Never! Not a single day!
Kensei Muguruma simply folded his arms, leaned back slightly, and gave Siwei Yan a sidelong look.
Go on. Keep making things up.
Seeing his captain's reaction, Yan Si's heart sank. He knew the "importance of his work" approach probably wouldn't work.
His mind raced, and he immediately tried another angle, his tone becoming even more earnest:
"Captain, think about this. I just contributed a hundred thousand kan to the division's communal funds. A full hundred thousand!"
He held up both hands and wiggled all ten fingers to emphasize the figure.
"If I hadn't poured my heart and soul into writing novels, burning the midnight oil to earn royalties, would our division's storeroom have such fine tea? Would we have been able to entertain those two captains so respectably today?"
The more he spoke, the more reasonable he felt he was being, and his voice grew louder:
"And look at our lieutenant. With that temperament of his, he leaves destruction wherever he goes. His monthly compensation and repair costs probably exceed the medical expenses of the entire Eleventh Division combined, don't they?
Who's working hard to plug that enormous hole in our finances? Isn't it..."
"Hi-yah!"
An energetic cry accompanied a swift white blur that came hurtling toward Yan Si from behind and to the side without warning!
A small, cute-looking foot clad in a white sock planted itself squarely in Siwei Yan's lower back.
Thump!
Yan Si's words cut off abruptly. Still frozen in his speaking pose, he was kicked straight forward through the air, tracing a short arc.
With a smack, he hit the courtyard wall a short distance away face-first, then slowly slid down and slumped into the corner, stirring up a small cloud of dust.
Kyunnan Shiro stood with his hands on his hips, cheeks puffed out and pink lips thrust into a pronounced pout, glaring angrily at Yan Si in the corner.
"Little Future! You were talking bad about me behind my back!"
Grimacing, Siwei Yan climbed up from the ground and brushed the dust off his Shinigami uniform, his lower back aching and tingling.
He turned an accusing gaze on Kensei Muguruma.
Captain, that was low! The lieutenant was nearby, and you didn't even warn me!
Kensei Muguruma's eyelids twitched a few more times. He looked away, pretending to examine a tree in the courtyard.
Yan Si rubbed his lower back and grimaced again before turning to the still-fuming Kyunnan Shiro, instantly switching to a pitiful expression.
"You misunderstood, Lieutenant. That's not what I meant. I meant... I meant the captain's sending me off to the Human World! You've got to save me!"
"The Human World?" Sure enough, Kyunnan Shiro's attention was diverted. He tilted his head. "Little Future's going to that boring place?"
"That's right!" Yan Si nodded hastily, looking even more miserable.
"You don't know this, but I recently heard people at the tavern saying the Human World's in some kind of 'age of warfare' right now. They're fighting every day, there are more dead people than living ones, corpses litter the land, and blood flows in rivers!"
He clutched his chest, an expression of extreme discomfort crossing his face.
"Lieutenant, you know I've been frail since childhood. I can't stand the sight of blood. Whenever I see it, I get dizzy and weak in the limbs. If it's bad enough, I even faint. Sending me somewhere like that is practically asking me to die!"
As he spoke, he raised a hand to his forehead and swayed, looking so weak he might faint at any moment.
"Huh? Little Future faints at the sight of blood?" Kyunnan Shiro was indeed taken in. He furrowed his delicate brows and began thinking seriously.
A few seconds later, his eyes lit up. "Wait right here!"
He turned and ran back to his room, then came pattering out a moment later with a wooden box in his hands.
He opened the box, rummaged through it, and took out a slightly worn pair of black fingerless gloves.
"Here!" He shoved the gloves into Yan Si's hands.
"This is some equipment I used before, the 'Glove of Great Strength'! Just put them on, and you'll feel full of strength and become super powerful. Then you won't have to be scared of going to the Human World!"
Yan Si looked at the unremarkable gloves in his hands, then at Kyunnan Shiro's earnest, expectant face. Though skeptical, he put them on anyway, thinking, What if they actually work?
The gloves fit surprisingly well.
He tried throwing a few punches and felt that even the rush of air from his fists was noticeably sharper than usual.
His confidence soaring, he stepped back twice, aimed at the thick, smooth wall beside him, and let out a low shout as he drove his fist into it with all his strength!
Thud!
A dull impact rang out. The wall didn't budge.
"Aaargh!"
The next second, a bloodcurdling scream burst from Yan Si's throat.
He jerked his hand back, his entire right arm trembling.
He crouched on the ground clutching his fist, nearly crying from the pain as he kept blowing on it.
"Lieutenant... these things are fake!" The pain even warped his voice.
"They're not fake!" Kyunnan Shiro immediately retorted, waving his own little fist in imitation.
"When I wore those gloves, I could smash a mountain with one punch!"
He gestured with absolute seriousness.
At last, Kensei Muguruma couldn't bear to watch any longer. He raised a hand to his forehead and heaved a deep sigh.
"Kyunnan Shiro, go back to your room for now. I still have some things to discuss with Yan Si."
"Huuuh?" Kyunnan Shiro was reluctant, but after seeing the captain's stern expression, he merely pouted.
"Fine... take care of yourself, Little Future!" He waved to Yan Si and pattered back to his room.
Only after the lieutenant's door had closed did Kensei Muguruma lower his hand. He glanced at Yan Si, who was still crouching on the ground rubbing his fist, and spoke slowly.
"Still hurts, doesn't it?"
Yan Si nodded pitifully.
Kensei Muguruma rolled his eyes.
"Has it occurred to you that Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro's ability to smash a mountain with one punch... might have absolutely nothing to do with whether he's wearing those gloves?"
Yan Si stopped rubbing his fist.
He looked up, glancing from his red, swollen fist to the captain's face, which all but said, "Are you an idiot?"
Then he thought back to Lieutenant Kyunnan Shiro's monstrous strength...
Ah!
He sucked in a sharp breath. That really did seem to be the case!
The gloves might offer a little assistance, but the true source of that power was the lieutenant himself.
Once he realized this, Yan Si immediately felt like a fool.
He simply stayed crouched on the ground and tilted his head up, giving Kensei Muguruma the most helpless look he could muster as he drew out his words:
"Captain~~~ can you really bear to throw me into the fire~~~~?"
Kensei Muguruma curled his lip, utterly unmoved.
"Don't try that on me. You're a grown man. Getting out there, gaining experience, and broadening your horizons will do you good. The Human World may be chaotic, but with the Eleventh Division, your safety will still be assured."
He looked at Yan Si, his tone brooking no argument.
"It's settled. Over the next two days, hand over your current duties and get ready."
"Captain, please reconsider! I really do faint at the sight of blood, and I'll only hold them back. I..."
No matter how Yan Si wailed or what excuses he offered, Kensei Muguruma merely turned his back on him and waved a hand.
Siwei Yan's wails gradually faded, finally dissolving into a long sigh of resignation.
He stood up, looked at his still-red and swollen fist, then glanced at the empty courtyard entrance.
It seemed there was no escaping this "research trip" to the Human World.
Before you continue