"Ding, host age: 27. Cumulative time spent on the toilet: 10,000 hours. System activation requirements met!"
"Ding, Salted Fish Film and Television Struggle System starting..."
"Ding, Salted Fish Film and Television System successfully activated."
"Ding, please choose the film or television series you wish to transmigrate into, salted fish host!"
"Ding, detected that host is watching the TV series Love O2O. System loading..."
"Ding, loading complete. Transmigration function starting..."
"What the hell?!" Wang Yue was sitting on the toilet, scrolling through Douyin with a bewildered look on his face. He had just come across an edited clip from the TV series Love O2O when, for no apparent reason, he heard a string of "ding ding" sounds.
"MMP, at least let me wipe my ass and pull up my pants first?!!"
Wang Yue looked around. Thankfully, thankfully, he was in a bathroom.
That was very important!!!
"Wang Yue, hurry up! The game's about to start! What's taking you so long?" A voice suddenly pulled Wang Yue back to reality.
Hearing the voice outside the bathroom, Wang Yue instinctively called back, "Coming, coming! Liu Wei, wait a second."
As he pulled up his pants, Wang Yue processed the information the system had given him. The person who'd just called for him was his roommate, Liu Wei. The man he'd replaced was also named Wang Yue, a freshman in the Computer Science Department at Qing University. After working incredibly hard to get into Qing University, he'd turned into a total salted fish.
He didn't skip classes, exactly. He'd just let go after the tension of studying eased, and without any goals, he spent his days muddling along with his classmates.
The day Wang Yue transmigrated was the School Basketball League, and as an important water-boy, he was indispensable!
"System?" As a webnovel reader, Wang Yue was already used to the words "transmigration" and "system." He hurriedly tried to contact it, just like the protagonists in other webnovels.
"System?!"
"System Spirit?!"
This damn system! Was it the kind that only cared about killing and didn't bother with the aftermath?
Weren't systems supposed to give you quests?
Where were those promised skill points?
What the hell was with getting no response at all?!
Grumbling to himself, Wang Yue made his way forward. By the time he reached the court, the game had already begun, and the stands were nearly full.
Wang Yue settled into his usual spot beside the water cooler, listening to the excited chatter of several Xiao Nai fans behind him. He thought, At least this isn't like those other transmigration systems that give you a quest to win over the female lead.
Bei Weiwei had already caught the attention of the brooding Xiao Nai. If a salted fish like me went up against him, wouldn't I be like a little monster picking a fight with Ultraman?
While Wang Yue was lost in thought, Liu Wei nudged him. "What're you thinking about? There are so many pretty girls here today. Don't you want to get out there and show off a little?"
"You're done for. With an attitude like that, you're not far from getting kicked off the department team!" Wang Yue changed the subject and shook his head with an air of deep wisdom.
"What?! What do you know? They're not getting rid of me, are they?" Liu Wei was startled and stared at Wang Yue with wide eyes.
Wang Yue gave Liu Wei a disdainful look, then patiently explained, "Think about it. Which of the sophomores, juniors, and seniors wouldn't want to get out there and show off? You're just a freshman, a little rookie. You should stick with me and watch the water cooler. Who do you think you are, Kobe?"
"Not bad, Third Brother! You've really got your head on straight." Liu Wei slapped Wang Yue hard on the shoulder, then glared at him. "Now tell me, why were you sneaking looks behind you?"
While the two of them chatted, the girls in the stands behind them had more or less realized Xiao Nai wasn't coming today. One by one, they left, until only a sparse handful remained.
After the team had secured a twenty-point lead in the second half and most of the girls had gone, the upperclassmen finally let the freshmen have a few minutes to run around on the court.
Wang Yue had been pretty good at basketball in his old world. He was a few years younger after transmigrating, and his physical condition felt excellent. After a few plays on the court, he got his rhythm back.
Once he'd found his touch, Wang Yue turned into Wang the Ball Hog. Whenever the ball landed in his hands, it either went through the hoop or went clanging off the rim.
He couldn't speak for anyone else, but in that moment, Wang Yue felt like "Wang Bryant Yue."
"Wang Yue, you just said I didn't want to stay on the department team. After that performance, do you even want to stay?" Once the upperclassmen, who couldn't stand the sight of him, took him off the court, Liu Wei wiped the sweat from his face and rolled his eyes at Wang Yue.
"You're a grown man. Why are you acting so cute? I heard you confessed to the Campus Belle before the game started." Wang Yue looked at the adorable young man, impressed by his nerve in trying to steal Xiao Nai's girl.
"Lovely maidens are a gentleman's delight!" Liu Wei raised his chin, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.
"I feel like you're constantly dancing on the edge of death." Wang Yue sighed. Thinking of the guy in the show who'd been brutally crushed in a one-on-one match by Xiao Nai, he felt a little sorry for Liu Wei. He patted him on the shoulder and said, "Practice hard, or you're going to get wrecked."
"Your logic just feels wrong somehow!"
"You'll understand eventually!"
"..."
Looking at the clueless Fourth Brother, Wang Yue silently mourned for him. Bei Weiwei's friends were all lovely. Why go after the fox Xiao Nai's prey?
Thinking of that, Wang Yue glanced at the four girls in the stands cheering for the Computer Science Department. They really were all beautiful in their own ways.
Just then, a voice asked in Wang Yue's ear, "Aren't they pretty?"
Wang Yue was busy admiring the girls up close, and he answered instinctively, "They are."
Seeing that Wang Yue had admitted it, the person asked in a deep voice, "Which one are you interested in?"
Wang Yue came back to his senses and glanced over his shoulder. Wasn't the person standing beside him Dazhong, the boyfriend of Xiaoling, Bei Weiwei's roommate? He immediately realized Dazhong was testing him.
Seeing Dazhong's knuckles crack, Wang Yue considered his future safety and hurriedly said, "The one next to Bei Weiwei."
Dazhong had made it into Qing University, after all. Wang Yue wasn't going to fool him so easily. He looked at Wang Yue very seriously and asked, "Obviously, there are three girls beside the Campus Belle. Which one do you mean?"
Wang Yue was speechless. Was Fourth Brother, who'd provoked Xiao Nai, going to be fine while he, an innocent bystander, got done in first?
Still, his Qing University-level intelligence came to the rescue. Under Dazhong's gaze, he quickly came up with an answer. "The one with short hair and a plaid shirt."
Dazhong studied Wang Yue carefully, saw how serious he looked, and finally unclenched his fist the size of a sandbag. He gave Wang Yue a meaningful look and said, "You've got good taste. The other short-haired one is my girlfriend. Want me to ask her to introduce you?"
Wang Yue couldn't actually let him set them up. He'd only used that as an excuse, so he quickly waved his hands. "No, Senior Brother. It's better to handle something like this yourself. I wouldn't want to trouble Sister-in-law."
When Dazhong saw Wang Yue turn him down, he eyed him suspiciously and asked very seriously, "You haven't fallen for your sister-in-law, have you?"
Wang Yue was so startled that he hurriedly waved his hands. "Senior Brother, what are you thinking? I'm just waiting for her to grow her hair down to her waist before I confess to her."
Dazhong blinked his big eyes at Wang Yue, then smiled with satisfaction. "Junior Brother, you've got a romantic streak. Waiting until her hair reaches her waist... yeah, that works."
After returning to the dorm, Wang Yue put the whole thing out of his mind. He washed up, then lay on his bed and flipped through his major's textbooks.
This was Qing University! Just thinking about it made him a little excited! Compared to the lousy second-tier university he'd gotten into in his old world, this all felt almost unreal. Ah, no wonder people said you needed to have dreams. Look, his had come true.
Time passed unnoticed as Wang Yue studied. He was getting to experience university all over again, especially the dream school of every student.
Everything he saw felt wonderful. Even the dining hall auntie's trembling spoon seemed adorable.
Wang Yue had spent the whole day acting strange, leaving his three roommates worried he might have some kind of problem.
"Fourth Brother, what did you and Third Brother do today? He's been acting weird ever since you finished playing ball!" That night, just before bed, Huang Tao, the eldest in the dorm, hurriedly whispered the question to Liu Wei while Wang Yue was in the bathroom.
"How would I know? Third Brother seems perfectly normal to me!" Liu Wei thought about it for a moment but couldn't come up with anything. "Oh, he was especially wild during basketball today. It felt like he treated those last few minutes as his farewell game and turned into Wang the Ball Hog!"
"Was there really nothing else unusual? That smug grin of his is written all over his face. You expect me to believe that's the face of someone who's sad?" Jia Honghai, the second eldest, stuck his head out from his bed and looked at the naïve Liu Wei with disdain.
Liu Wei had his feet soaking in a basin while playing A Chinese Ghost Story on his phone. Without even looking up, he said, "Aside from asking Bei Weiwei out to dinner and failing, nothing else happened today!"
"Bang!" Liu Wei had barely finished speaking when there was a loud crash. He turned around and saw Jia Honghai wrapped in his blanket on the floor.
Huang Tao hurried over to help Jia Honghai up. Then the two of them crowded Liu Wei between them, one on each side.
"You asked the Campus Belle to dinner?"
"How did you confess? When?"
Liu Wei stared at the two of them, who were acting so excited, completely bewildered. He cautiously asked, "I just saw that the Campus Belle played A Chinese Ghost Story too, so I wanted to ask which server she was on. Is that a big deal?"
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