I Am An Invincible Unlucky Protagonist

"Bang," "bang," "bang," "bang."

"..."

"Bang," "bang--"

It was the morning of New Year's Day, and the sound of something shattering came from beside the First Hospital Building. Precisely eighteen times.

After these eighteen sounds, when everyone looked down at the ground, they found eighteen broken flower pots scattered on the ground next to the building.

They were shattered into pieces, the kind that clearly fell from a high floor.

Strangely, these eighteen shattered flower pots formed a crooked, wobbly straight line, and at the end of the line stood a young man in a white coat.

Gu Mian, male, twenty-two years old, a surgical intern at Lianhua Hospital. Everyone affectionately called him Doctor Gu.

Of course, he also had a more popular nickname—Lone Star of Calamity.

Gu Mian came from Qidian Orphanage. He was over 1.8 meters tall and had a face that rich women would be very willing to keep. He should have been a flower of the motherland's future, but this flower was almost ruined by his own bizarre luck.

Car accidents, explosions, shipwrecks, food poisoning—he had experienced all these minor incidents, and of course, there were more outrageous ones.

For example, eighteen flower pots falling on his head consecutively.

Gu Mian patted his white coat and looked up at the eighteen flower pots that had missed his head. "You can all disperse. There's nothing to see."

The surrounding passersby were clearly startled by these eighteen shattered flower pots.

After a long while, an old man finally spoke, his neck stiff. "How can we just leave? This is murder!"

Gu Mian sighed. If this counted as murder, then every day he had experienced since birth was a vivid "Jing Ke's Assassination of Qin."

Of course, he was the unlucky King of Qin.

Perhaps it was due to the King of Qin's luck, but every assassination attempt in his life had failed. Otherwise, Gu Mian wouldn't be standing here today.

He had finally managed to calm the panicked crowd, only to be caught off guard by life's next assassination attempt around the corner.

Others met love around the corner, but Gu Mian was different; every corner he turned hid an assassin waiting for an opportunity.

For instance, right now—

A van suddenly appeared in Gu Mian's line of sight. It was only three meters away and heading straight for him.

It looked like the van wouldn't be able to brake in time.

If it were a normal person, they would probably have been scared stiff by now, perhaps even staring blankly as they were sent flying.

But Gu Mian was not normal.

The surgical intern skillfully jumped to the side, and the van brushed past him.

After driving about ten meters, the old van finally managed to brake, and a Fatty rolled out, holding a large bag. He was probably the driver.

Gu Mian patted his white coat, not pursuing the Fatty's responsibility, and turned to walk into the nearby hospital building.

But even though he didn't go after the Fatty, the Fatty trotted over to him.

"Hey... little doctor brother, wait..."

The Fatty ran over, panting. "Sorry, brother. My old van suddenly couldn't brake. Sorry for scaring you..."

He panted and looked up at Gu Mian.

Unexpectedly, the doctor, who had almost met his doom, showed no fear. He remained calm and composed, as if certain that the car would be the one to crash, not him.

The Fatty's words caught in his throat. He couldn't quite tell if this was the person he had almost hit.

"Don't worry about it," Gu Mian said, hands in his white coat pockets. "I wasn't scared."

I can tell that without you saying so! the Fatty roared inwardly.

"If that's all, I'll be going now," Gu Mian said. He still had medical records to write.

"Wait, wait," the Fatty behind him grabbed him. "Little brother, do you know which building the psychiatric surgery is in? A girl called saying the sink in the Psychiatric Surgery Office fell off. I'm here to fix it."

He said this while gasping for breath and coughing a few times. This season was peak flu season, and this guy was probably catching a cold.

Gu Mian stopped and looked at him. "Coincidentally, I'm from Neurosurgery. I'll take you there."

The Fatty grinned happily. "That would be great."

He followed Gu Mian closely into the First Hospital Building and went to the elevator.

This big Fatty didn't seem weak at all. The bag he carried contained an impact drill about 1.5 meters long, weighing at least ten pounds.

He carried it as if it were effortless, seemingly accustomed to it.

The elevator arrived, and Gu Mian stepped in. The Fatty quickly followed.

Neurosurgery was on the 18th floor. Gu Mian reached out and pressed the button for the 18th floor.

"Say, little brother," the Fatty began, looking Gu Mian up and down as they were the only two in the elevator. "You've got some serious skills. You just jumped aside like that, looked pretty practiced."

"Of course," Gu Mian replied. "It's built up over time."

"Huh?" The Fatty didn't quite understand. "You practice long jumping every day?"

Gu Mian suddenly chuckled. "Not exactly. Let me put it this way—"

"Has your car ever spontaneously combusted while you were driving it?"

"..."

"Have you ever used a cup washed by a waiter who used paraquat as dish soap?"

"..."

"Have you ever rented an apartment only to find out the landlord was a murderer?"

"..."

"Can the bad luck you've experienced go on for seven days and seven nights without repeating?"

Fatty shook his head and said with difficulty, "Actually, no..."

"So, I'm already very skilled at avoiding danger and seeking benefits. Otherwise, I wouldn't be alive today. And I guarantee that if my experiences were put on Qidian, no protagonist could beat me in terms of bad luck. No one--"

Gu Mian said this while rubbing his hand.

Fatty swallowed nervously, "So, if you say that... being with you would bring bad luck too, right?"

Thinking of this, he couldn't help but worry about his own safety.

"Of course," Gu Mian smiled slightly. "I never know when life's next assassination attempt will come, maybe it's right now."

As soon as he finished speaking, as if to prove his words, the entire elevator suddenly went dark, so dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face.

Fatty let out a "what the fuck" and scrambled to the furthest spot from Gu Mian, the bringer of misfortune.

Immediately after, a point of light appeared in the pitch-black elevator, and a semi-transparent screen materialized in front of Fatty at some point.

Of course, Gu Mian had an identical one in front of him too.

This screen looked like the kind from a System, but Gu Mian knew this wasn't any System.

Because at this moment, several lines of text were popping up on the screen.

[Welcome to the Global Evolution Game. This game is initiated by Earth, and the players are all of humanity.]

[Detected: 99% of humanity does not meet the standard specifications for cosmic lifeforms. This game aims to help humanity evolve through horror games.]

[During the game, global anomalies will occur, creating Dungeons, events, side quests, and hidden missions. Players can obtain rewards by completing Dungeons, etc., to improve their physical fitness.]

[When the overall quality of the remaining humans meets the standard, this game will automatically shut down.]

[The Newbie Tutorial is about to begin. Please prepare--]

Wait, has life gone to such lengths of madness just to kill me?