I Am a Little Green Dragon

I Am a Little Green Dragon

"...I am a little green dragon, I have lots of little secrets, I am a little green dragon, I have lots of little secrets. I have lots and lots of secrets, but I won't tell you, won't tell you, won't tell you..."

Li Bai woke to his phone's ringtone and its buzzing vibration. He opened his eyes and stared blankly for a moment, feeling lost. It seemed he'd just had a long, strange dream. Out of habit, he reached for his phone, and the cool, flat smartphone landed neatly in his palm.

The caller ID on the screen read True Man Zhou.

The caller was the director of Seventh Hospital and Li Bai's immediate superior, Zhou Tong, who liked to use "A true man doesn't mince words" as his catchphrase.

Li Bai swiped to answer, and True Man Zhou's furious voice immediately burst from the phone.

"Comrade Li Bai, do you know what time it is? Do you even want to keep this job? If you make us miss today's symposium, you can write your own resignation letter!"

Click! The call ended abruptly.

"Ah! The symposium? Oh no!"

Li Bai suddenly remembered that an important symposium was taking place today. Hosted by Seventh Hospital, it was a major event in psychiatry and mental health, attended by colleagues from Three provinces and one city in East China.

If he made True Man Zhou lose face, the old man certainly wouldn't let him off easy. He might even want to tear him limb from limb.

It was already nine thirty in the morning. He hurriedly threw off the covers and tried to get up, but froze mid-motion. His eyes widened more and more as he saw a little green snake coiled on his stomach.

A snake?

Wait... Why did it have a pointy little horn on its head? What kind of species was it?

"Ehehe!"

A woman's giggle sounded by his ear. Before Li Bai could figure out what was going on, the little green snake suddenly sprang up without warning and lunged straight for his neck.

"Ah!"

The sudden good-morning bite was undeniably exhilarating, but the furious little green flood dragon made one thing clear to Li Bai: it hadn't been a dream. It had really happened.

He'd simply returned from another world.

From the border town of Xiyan in the Great Wu Dynasty, he'd ventured beyond the demon lands, met the Dragon Girl, entered Little Lin Temple, repelled the Demon Tide, gone into Great Yellow Ridge, learned the Azure Wave Sword, and returned to Tianjing City, the Great Wu Imperial Capital. He'd reunited with the Bai Family Father and Daughter, and inadvertently helped Xiang Jun, the young lady who'd assumed the identity of the young master of Jingguo Duke's Mansion, seize the Imperial Throne. He'd schemed and struggled against the Five Palaces, Seven Sects, and Thirteen Schools of the Daoist arts, uncovered the threat of the Heavenly Evil Cult, ambushed the Holy Court's Eastern Expeditionary Army, and finally beaten that Outer Heavenly Evil God back to where he came from. The ending hadn't been perfect, but at least the world could enjoy a period of peace.

For a walking natural disaster like the Great Demon, it was a job well done.

The Empress and his little sister Ying'er—and Senior Sister Zhi Rong, too—might grieve for a while over his disappearance, but at least they could live in peace and safety, no longer having to worry about disasters caused by those Westerners and the Heavenly Evil Cult.

Still, Li Bai couldn't help worrying about the other Little Demoness who'd vanished into the Heavenly Gate with him.

As a master's graduate in psychology, Li Bai quickly adjusted his mindset. What's done is done. I might as well accept it. There's no point dwelling on it.

Although Hong Li wasn't by his side, the wispy threads extending from the Innate Exotic Treasure, Chaos Green Lotus, in his mind and reaching into the boundless void were still there. That meant the few members of the Demon Race he'd enlightened with his blood were still alive. Little Red Carp Hong Li was no exception.

It was completely understandable that the Azure Flood Dragon Demoness was still furious. Anyone would have trouble accepting that the dragon body they'd painstakingly cultivated had been lost in an instant, leaving them back in a flood dragon's body. She'd barely had time to enjoy the superiority of being Heaven's favorite before falling from heaven to hell. The Demoness had cried and demanded Li Bai compensate her, but how could he possibly do that? It was a blessing she hadn't swallowed him whole.

He'd brought this on himself; he had no one else to blame. If morning bites became a daily occurrence, that was only natural.

Standing by the road and trying to hail a cab, Li Bai rubbed his still-sore neck. The Demoness had shown some mercy by licking away the two sesame-seed-sized puncture marks. Otherwise, they'd accumulate day after day, and people might mistake him for an addict with "ants climbing a tree" on his neck.

He'd only just returned to his original world when that earful over the phone made it clear he couldn't afford to dawdle.

Dean Zhou's orders concerned his livelihood. After paying rent and the utility bills each month, his leftover salary was only enough to eat.

If he got fired, he'd probably have to join those miserable new graduates who were unemployed the moment they finished school and go around handing out résumés.

"Seventh People's Hospital!"

Li Bai hailed a taxi and climbed inside.

"Hey, are you doing Cosplay?"

The young taxi driver gave Li Bai a startled once-over.

But seeing someone in ancient clothes heading to Seventh People's Hospital was bound to make people jump to conclusions.

Cosplay? Li Bai looked down at himself, the corner of his mouth twitching. He'd been so busy dealing with that unreasonable Azure Flood Dragon Demoness that he'd forgotten he was still wearing his Scholar's Robe.

"I had something urgent to do and forgot to change."

Li Bai gave a bitter smile.

Clearly, the only things he'd brought back weren't foreign-world souvenirs like the Azure Flood Dragon Demoness. He'd brought back these clothes, too—the very outfit he'd worn when he and the two Demonesses had knocked the Outer Heavenly Evil God back through the Heavenly Gate.

"No wonder."

The taxi driver gave him a knowing look, stepped on the gas, and quickly joined the busy traffic.

Li Bai could tell the driver wasn't entirely convinced.

Damn it, who goes to a mental hospital in ancient clothes? He must be crazy.

Well, he had to admit he was going to see patients. There was no way to explain it. The more he said, the worse it would sound.

Ignoring the taxi driver's strange glances, Li Bai soon reached his destination: Seventh People's Hospital.

He checked the time. Fortunately, he hadn't been delayed too long. If he said a few nice things, Great Dean Zhou probably wouldn't fire him.

As he hurried toward the Changing room, the nurses and patients coming in for appointments all stared at him as if they'd seen a ghost. Then they recoiled in horror, afraid he might hit them if they weren't careful.

Those young nurses were always sending him flirtatious glances, but when it mattered, they were nowhere to be found.

He'd barely reached the fourth floor when someone came charging out, hollering at the top of his lungs. The man knocked several people over in a row, like a bull gone berserk, charging through the corridor as if nobody was there.

"You bastard! Zhen Guanxi, Zheng Tu, is right here! Who dares fight me? Lu Da, get out here!"

Someone shouted from behind him, "Stop him! Prepare five milliliters of Chlorpromazine for injection!"

Seventh People's Hospital was never short of a formidable security team. Every one of the guards was a retired Special Forces Soldier. Li Bai couldn't help laughing when he saw them.

The man charging ahead, waving his arms and looking to pick a fight with Lu Zhi Shen, was a regular. He was always imagining himself as the butcher from Water Margin who'd been beaten by Lu Ti Xia. As it happened, they even shared the same name: Zheng Tu. He'd probably watched Water Margin so often that he'd gone mad, triggering paranoid schizophrenia.

When he was well, you'd never know anything was wrong. He spoke clearly and logically. But when he had an episode, he immediately turned into Master Zheng and started yelling about revenge. In ancient times, people would've said he was possessed by an evil spirit and subjected him to all manner of torture until it was driven out. Nowadays, he was simply a patient with an acute mental illness. At most, one tranquilizer shot would take care of it.

A patient like Zheng Tu, whose condition was unstable, should have been sent to the "harem"—the inpatient ward—for long-term treatment a while ago. With Granny Wang, the returning head eunuch of the "harem," stationed there, and a Tranquilizer Gun that never missed its target in her hands, even the wildest fit would end with one shot. If he made it as far as the elevator, that alone would be impressive.

If one shot didn't knock him down, she'd fire two. Granny Wang had kept the "harem" in line for twenty years without a single incident.

Looking behind the security guards and the two or three nurses, Li Bai spotted the furious doctor in a white coat. It was Zheng Tu's attending physician, Chen Sheng. As if he sensed someone looking at him, he met Li Bai's eyes. He paused, then his expression turned gloomy.

Chen Sheng had given in to the patient's family and failed to admit this Martial Maniac to the hospital. Luckily, the man had had his episode at the hospital today. If it had happened outside, who knew how much trouble he would have caused?

Li Bai smiled, happy to watch the show. He and Chen Sheng didn't get along. The psychiatric department had recently gotten approval for a new attending physician position, and the two of them were the leading candidates.

In Chen Sheng's eyes, Li Bai was a master's graduate who'd always been in True Man Zhou's good graces. Jealousy had made him see Li Bai as a formidable rival, and in their daily interactions, they rarely agreed on anything.

"Li Bai, stop him!"

Seeing Li Bai appear in front of Zheng Tu, Chen Sheng noticed that, despite wearing the same panicked expression as everyone else, he felt a trace of secret delight deep down.

The patient was broad-shouldered and burly, with a patch of black chest hair. At first glance, he looked just like Master Zheng, Zhen Guanxi, reincarnated.

The corridor erupted in screams. Among psychiatric patients, the ones they feared most were violent maniacs like him. He could kill someone and not face the death penalty!

Li Bai secretly formed a hand seal, preparing to use a minor technique, but suddenly froze.

There was barely any spiritual energy left in his middle dantian. It had strangely condensed into a single grain the size of a soybean, as unmoving as granite. Outside his body, there wasn't the slightest trace of spiritual energy he could call upon.

He'd forgotten that the Heaven and Earth Rules in the two worlds were entirely different.

Master Zheng was still charging at Li Bai like a raging bull, heedless of everything around him.