Warrior Certification

Zhu Ping'an's Adam's apple bobbed. His own guess startled him badly. If he was right, that would be insanely awesome!

He climbed onto the roof of his apartment building, and a bold idea took shape in his mind.

With the nimble physique of a First-Rank Warrior, Zhu Ping'an completed a three-and-a-half somersault on the rooftop of the 24-story building, then began his free fall.

When he passed the fifth floor, he happened to catch sight of Zhu Kaixin's terrified little face.

"Mom, I think my brother wants to be Superman!" Zhu Kaixin cried.

As soon as he finished speaking, a muffled thud came from outside the window. Zhu Kaixin leaned out and saw Zhu Ping'an sprawled on the apartment complex's lawn.

The tremendous impact made Zhu Ping'an's vision go black, and he passed out on the spot—but he did so with a smile.

Because just as he was about to hit the ground, a gust of crosswind had blown in from who knew where, carrying him onto the lawn instead of the concrete.

That proved his guess was right!

When Zhu Ping'an woke up, the first thing he saw was the hospital's white bedsheets. His whole body felt as if a truck had run him over; the pain was unbearable.

"Brother, you're awake?" Zhu Kaixin sighed when he saw him, discreetly wiping away the tears at the corners of his eyes. "Sigh, there goes my dream of keeping the whole inheritance to myself."

"Ping'an! What happened to you, child? You scared your mother half to death! I didn't dare go play mahjong all night!" Xia Yue said, her eyes red.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I was trying to practice a martial skill and accidentally lost my footing." Zhu Ping'an touched his nose, ready to bluff his way through it. He couldn't exactly tell Xia Yue he was testing some plot point, could he?

But feeling the pain in his body, Zhu Ping'an couldn't help feeling a lingering sense of fear. He'd been too impulsive last night. Not dying didn't mean living well; being alive like a vegetable was still being alive, after all.

Even if the plot meant he wouldn't die early, there was no telling whether he might end up missing an arm or a leg if he kept tempting fate.

"Kaixin, hurry and get the doctor!"

At Xia Yue's urging, Zhu Kaixin soon brought over Zhu Ping'an's attending physician. The doctor first hooked him up to all sorts of equipment for a thorough examination, then handed him a sample container and some other things.

"All right, take these and go to the bathroom to have your stool tested."

"Doctor, I can't swallow it."

The doctor shuddered at Zhu Ping'an's words, and the two stared at each other.

In decades of medical practice, he'd never heard such a perverted answer.

He'd just woken up after passing out from jumping off a building, and now the doctor was telling him to swallow poop. Zhu Ping'an had never heard such a bizarre request in his life.

The old doctor and the young patient stared at each other, each thinking the other wasn't quite right in the head.

In the end, the doctor was the first to give in. Thinking that he only had two and a half years left until retirement, he decided to let it go!

He patiently explained, "I meant take the specimen container to the bathroom, put a small piece of stool in it, and bring it back for testing. Can you understand that?"

"Oh, now I get it! You should've said so earlier!" Zhu Ping'an tested his body, and though it hurt a little, there was clearly nothing seriously wrong. Then he darted into the bathroom.

"Doctor, how is my son?" Xia Yue asked anxiously.

"It's thanks to him being a First-Rank Warrior. An ordinary person falling from the 24th floor would be dead, even if they landed on the lawn. We'll test his stool to see if there's blood; if there isn't, he can be discharged. There's nothing wrong with his body, but..."

The doctor's brow furrowed, then slowly relaxed.

"I recommend taking him to see a psychiatrist when you have time."

Just then, Zhu Ping'an came out of the bathroom, carefully holding a paper bowl. Written on it in imitation Song script were the words "[Tastes good, so of course it's more popular]," and inside was a bowl piled high with poop.

"Doctor, the container you gave me was too small. I couldn't fit it all in, so I switched to a bigger one. Where should I take it for testing?" Zhu Ping'an asked.

The doctor's face turned green. "Mrs. Xia, I now strongly recommend getting him to a psychiatrist immediately!"

Xia Yue's face had gone a little green too, and Zhu Kaixin wished he could crawl into a crack in the ground. The two of them hurriedly dragged Zhu Ping'an away.

By the time Zhu Ping'an left the hospital, he'd become infamous there—and in the most literal sense.

A legend about a poop-carrying fiend began circulating at Qingcheng First Hospital...

After resting for a day, Zhu Ping'an felt that his injuries had mostly healed. He set out for the Qingcheng Martial Artist Association early that morning.

Every city had its own Martial Artist Association. The association existed to serve martial artists, and anyone who became a First-Rank Warrior could register and get certified.

Once certified here, martial artists could take on all sorts of well-paid missions. They could also buy the materials needed for cultivation, as well as various weapons and equipment.

Of course, if you wanted women, they could provide that too. Martial artists had vigorous qi and blood, so it was only natural their appetites were strong.

Zhu Ping'an had an even more important reason for coming: after becoming a martial artist, the Martial Artist Association would provide a free weapon and martial skill. That was why he had come today.

When Zhu Ping'an walked in, quite a few people stared at him in surprise.

It was rare to see someone so young at the Martial Artist Association. People his age were usually still at Martial Arts High School.

"Hello, I'd like to get certified as a martial artist."

Zhu Ping'an went to the certification desk. A slightly plump young woman sat behind it, her rounded thighs perfectly encased in black stockings.

The moment she saw Zhu Ping'an, her eyes lit up, and she couldn't help leaning forward, putting her ample cleavage on full display.

A martial artist this young, and so handsome too—he was an investment with boundless potential!

"Hello, please come with me~" She led Zhu Ping'an to a testing center.

A First-Rank Warrior had the strength of a thousand jun. For every hundred points their Qi and Blood Value increased, they gained another thousand jun of strength. Once they reached ten thousand jun of strength, they had reached the pinnacle of the First Rank.

So the test was simple. A thousand jun of strength was thirty thousand pounds. Zhu Ping'an slammed his fist into a specialized machine, and the final reading settled at 56,212.

The young woman administering the test covered her little mouth in astonishment. That was... a lot of strength.

A punch of more than fifty thousand pounds clearly meant he'd been a First-Rank Warrior for some time.

"Congratulations, your martial artist certification has been approved. Please come with me, and I'll prepare your Warrior Identity Token."

The young woman's gaze was soft as water as she looked at Zhu Ping'an, her eyes full of affection. She looked as if she could gobble him up in one bite.

Back at the certification desk, the young woman clicked away at the computer, then gently handed Zhu Ping'an his Warrior Identity Token. Along with it, she passed him a business card.

"You can use your Warrior Identity Token to collect the benefits provided by the government at the Martial Skill Pavilion and Armory Pavilion. As for the business card, that's my personal contact information. Remember to get in touch, little brother."