Taishang Laojun's eye twitched violently. At last, he understood why Haotian had been crying like a three-hundred-pound child in Lingxiao Hall.
Once you got tangled up in this karma, there was no shaking it off.
There was simply no reasoning with her.
[ Ding! A new debt collector detected. The host's sense of justice is overflowing! ] [ Divine Choice triggered! ] [ Option One: Admit your mistake to Supreme Lord and return the Peach Tree. Reward: Tao Te Ching Manuscript (Hypnotic Edition). ] [ Option Two: Drop the tree and run immediately. Reward: Wind-Fire Wheels Trial Card (Half an Hour). ] [ Option Three: Decide he's the mastermind, steal his ox, yank out his Whisk, then go to his home and clear the place out! Reward: Pangu Banner (Fragment), attached to the Milk Bottle, unlocking the "Break All Laws" attribute! ]
Xiruan's little mouth stretched from ear to ear.
Did she even have to choose? Obviously, it was Option Three!
Rob him!
[ Ding! The host has made a choice. Reward issued! ]
A wisp of faint, mysterious light sank into the Milk Bottle. The ancient patterns on it seemed to grow sharper.
"Old man! You look so kindly, but who knew your heart was so black!" Xiruan pointed a tiny finger at him. "You're the biggest boss of them all!"
Taishang Laojun took a deep breath. He couldn't let her keep acting up.
He waved a hand.
A scroll, swirling with black and white energies and imbued with boundless Daoist principles, unfurled and instantly enveloped the ruins of the entire Peach Garden.
The innate treasure, the Taiji Diagram!
As soon as the scroll appeared, space and time froze, and the forces of earth, fire, water, and wind returned to chaos.
He only wanted to trap this little menace and take her back to Bajing Palace, where he could slowly teach her.
Xiruan looked at the enormous black-and-white circle above her head. Instead of being afraid, she got even more excited.
"Oh! You dare fight back?"
"Watch me take that lousy mat of yours, too!"
She swung the Milk Bottle in her hand at the Taiji Diagram overhead.
"Boom!"
The Milk Bottle slammed squarely into the Taiji Diagram.
Taishang Laojun's pupils suddenly contracted.
The Taiji Diagram, which could immobilize all things in the Primeval World and was hailed as the ultimate defensive treasure, shuddered violently under the Milk Bottle's blow.
The aura of the Pangu Banner!
The Milk Bottle had the power of the Pangu Banner!
Taishang Laojun was completely dumbfounded.
Where in the world had Tongtian found such a monstrous daughter?!
Xiruan's first strike hadn't worked, so she raised the Milk Bottle again, ready to swing once more.
"S-Stop!" Taishang Laojun hurriedly recalled the Taiji Diagram.
One more hit, and even if his precious scroll didn't break, it would be severely damaged.
"Scared?" Xiruan lifted her little chin, looking smug. "If you are, hurry up and tell me where you live! I'll come collect the compensation in person!"
Taishang Laojun's lips trembled, but he couldn't get a single word out.
He didn't dare tell her.
He was afraid that if he said Doushuai Palace, the palace roof would be gone the very next second.
When Xiruan saw he wasn't answering, she sniffed the air with her little nose.
"Hmph, I don't need you to tell me!"
She pointed a tiny finger in a certain direction.
"The smell of pills on you is drifting over there!"
"Scrub your neck clean and wait! Your granny's coming over to your place right now... to seize the rich man's loot!"
With that, she flung the Qiankun Cauldron onto her back, hefted the giant Milk Bottle, and flew off angrily in the direction of Doushuai Palace.
Taishang Laojun and his Green Ox were left behind in the devastated Peach Garden, utterly bewildered.
Doushuai Palace was wreathed in immortal mists, with purple qi rising from the east.
Xiruan followed the enticing scent of pills all the way there.
Before long, a magnificent golden palace appeared before her. It was even grander than the home of that village tyrant Haotian.
"This accountant must've embezzled quite a lot!" Xiruan concluded solemnly.
She swaggered right up to the entrance.
Two exquisitely carved young Daoist attendants, one gold and one silver, were dozing at the gate.
"Hey! Open up! Rent collector!" Xiruan bellowed.
Golden Horn and Silver Horn, the two attendants, were startled awake. Rubbing their eyes, they saw a red-bibbed toddler who was even shorter than they were.
"Where'd this little brat come from? How dare you make trouble at Doushuai Palace!" Golden Horn put his hands on his hips.
"Get lost, or we'll catch you and make you into a pill!" Silver Horn chimed in.
Xiruan furrowed her brow.
Two more lackeys.
She couldn't be bothered to waste words. She grabbed the Milk Bottle and swung it left and right.
"Thump!"
"Thump!"
Two dull thuds.
Golden Horn and Silver Horn rolled their eyes back. Each had a huge bump shaped like a Milk Bottle on his head as he passed out.
"Hmph. You should've listened."
Xiruan kicked the palace doors open. The rich fragrance of pills rushed out, and she contentedly narrowed her eyes.
Following the scent, she pattered into a great hall.
A gigantic Eight Trigrams Furnace stood in the center of the hall, its flames blazing.
Shelves all around it were filled with Purple Gold Gourds of every size.
"Wow! What a big kitchen! So many candy jars!"
Xiruan's eyes lit up. She ran to the shelves and took down a gourd.
She pulled out the stopper and tipped it into her palm.
Several glittering golden pills rolled out. Their pill aura gathered without dispersing, forming the shadows of dragons and tigers.
Nine Revolutions Golden Elixirs!
"Candy Beans!"
Xiruan picked one up and tossed it into her mouth, crunching it between her teeth.
A medicinal power a hundred times purer than that of the 9000-Year Peaches erupted inside her, washing through her limbs and bones.
"Burp... Not bad, but a little hard."
[ Ding! The host is confiscating the ill-gotten gains of a corrupt accountant! ] [ Divine Looting Choice triggered! ] [ Option One: Take just one gourd and know when to stop. Reward: A banner proclaiming you a paragon of virtue. ] [ Option Two: Eat until you're full. Reward: Thousand-Year Constipation Trial Card. ] [ Option Three: Take the whole lot! Gourds, pills, shelves—everything that can be carried goes! Paying off her father's debt is nothing to be ashamed of! Reward: Nine Revolutions Mystic Art (Introductory Chapter)! ]
"Option Three! Obviously, Option Three!"
Xiruan waved her little hand and summoned the Qiankun Cauldron, aiming its mouth at the room full of Purple Gold Gourds.
"Absorb!"
A terrifying force of suction surged from inside the cauldron.
Whoosh—
The gourds on the shelves flew into the cauldron in droves. Even the ten-thousand-year-old warm-jade shelves that held them were sucked inside.
In the blink of an eye, the once-crowded pill chamber was cleaner than if Xiaotian Dog had licked it.
"My pills!!!"
A shrill cry rang out.
Taishang Laojun had just arrived, only to witness a scene that shattered his Dao Heart.
He pointed at Xiruan with trembling fingers, his lips quivering.
Those were immortal pills he'd spent countless eras refining—the strategic reserves of the entire Heavenly Court!
And now... they were gone?
"Bad accountant, you're back?" Xiruan dusted off her hands, entirely unapologetic. "I confiscated your Candy Beans to pay off my dad's debt!"
She pointed at the empty pill chamber. "That's just the interest! What else do you have that's valuable? I'll take your sheets and blankets, too!"
Taishang Laojun's vision went dark. He nearly died of rage on the spot.
He felt as if he wasn't facing a toddler, but a Taotie! A lawless chaos beast!
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