The station's final safety guarantee for newcomers had to be delivered by the BOSS in person.
The lobby manager led Xue Ming to the Council of Five Kings' main hall. Beneath the five oil paintings, beside the quiet yet busy administrative counter, he found a path leading to the inner office.
At the end of an arched stone corridor, he knocked on the BOSS's office door.
Then the manager stood beside the door, bowed with great ceremony, and gestured for Jiang Xueming to enter alone and meet the BOSS.
That focused, devout manner made Jiang Xueming feel uneasy.
He stepped through the doorway and onto a soft fur rug, finding himself in a spacious, quiet room.
Whisky sat warming beside the fireplace. It was cheap but delicious, and its name was [Iron Knight].
Magazines and newspapers had spilled from the sofa onto the floor, as if the servants hadn't had time to tidy up.
Bookcases stood on either side of the broad desk, like the room's master's knights: upright, neat, and orderly.
To the right of the desk sat the austere, stern woman—the "Cat Tree" the BOSS had mentioned.
She rested her hands casually on the chair's armrests. Her expression was like that of a serious bulldog, her cheeks drooping unnaturally as she looked down at her visitor.
The cat in her arms lay nestled against the soft cushion on her lap and the fine blanket.
The big black cat had one eye open and one closed. It looked as if a guest had interrupted its feigned nap, but it remained perfectly composed, making a cheeky face.
Moonlight shone through the blinds behind them. The firewood in the fireplace was a little damp, crackling sharply.
The woman snapped her fingers.
The gramophone started up, playing the theme music from [Love Theme].
The scene made Jiang Xueming feel a little numb.
It was like an old video theater, where, in a snow-flecked picture, the Godfather from Sicily sat in his mansion, about to receive a guest.
—Whether Cat Tree Lady or the BOSS, both were total drama queens. They were completely in character, waiting for the passenger to make a suitably ceremonial response as the melodious flute and strings played.
Jiang Xueming took a deep breath.
He strode forward—
—and unplugged the gramophone.
The lady raised her hand. "NO!"
The BOSS waved a paw. "NO!"
Jiang Xueming plugged the gramophone back in.
Cat Tree Lady nodded. "YES!"
The BOSS nodded along. "YES!"
Xue Ming had no idea why the BOSS was putting on this whole show.
But the BOSS was the master of the station, and this was her turf.
With the music playing, everything returned to that strange, yellowed-filter atmosphere.
Jiang Xueming hesitated, took out his phone, and, as if solving some kind of role-playing game puzzle, opened an old script written fifty years ago by [Mario Puzo].
He read the lines patiently, like he was reciting a spell.
"I trust the station."
When he said those words—
—the BOSS and Cat Tree Lady were both very, very happy.
Xue Ming patiently continued reciting the spell.
"Half a month ago, I found a job at the station."
"I entrusted my younger sister to the hospital and told her never to give up on living. She has a primary doctor who can't treat the Vita Imprint. She has to get desensitization shots every day, and it's late by the time her treatment is done and she can sleep."
"Then I was at the end of my rope, so I came to the station to ask you for medicine. You arranged a companion for me. His name is Bu Liuxing."
"We set out for Fang Feng to meet a widow. The rest is all in the log. No matter what, A Xing and you—saved my sister's life."
"I told Bu Liuxing that this trip had been so dangerous, yet a week later he was already thinking of returning to the station and risking his life again."
"My God. I stood there at his shooting range, completely dumbfounded. That little punk just grinned at me."
"The lobby manager told me that if I wanted to protect myself, and protect that reckless idiot, my only choice was to come to you for help, my BOSS."
For the first half, Jiang Xueming had read from his phone in a blank voice.
By the second half, he'd memorized every line, and his expression had grown animated. He was terrified of displeasing this living fiend.
The BOSS sat up and shifted her butt on Cat Tree Lady's knee, looking impatient. But her tail couldn't lie: it stood straight up, as if she were overjoyed.
"Mr. Jiang Xueming, although we've only met twice, this is the first time you've come to me for help so humbly and respectfully."
The BOSS raised her toes and racked her brain, trying to remember her lines.
"When was the last time you and I had coffee together? I can't remember anymore. Our waiter's still an old acquaintance, though."
Jiang Xueming answered at once. "July fifth. Carriage Nine, seat B12. You didn't have coffee; they brought tea."
Cat Tree Lady looked displeased.
The BOSS's tail began to swish restlessly.
Jiang Xueming shrugged, looking innocent and unconcerned.
"Fine. Go ahead."
"What is it you want?" the BOSS continued the story.
Jiang Xueming followed her cue. "I hope you'll give me the station's final safety guarantee. I'll agree to your conditions."
Then he added one more thing.
"If possible, I'd like an armed employee's ID so I can avoid being hunted by the Armadillo Hunters."
The BOSS shook her head. "That's too much."
Jiang Xueming nodded. "I only want peace of mind."
BOSS: "Passengers can only get so much. I can't just hand you proof that you're an armed employee."
Jiang Xueming: "I have to protect my friends and my family."
BOSS: "But your sister's still alive, and your friend's full of energy."
Jiang Xueming: "If I have to spend every day in fear, then I want those hunters to suffer just as much! What do I have to pay you?"
Suddenly, Black Cat froze for a moment.
She whispered to Cat Tree Lady.
"Was that kid serious just now? He wants an armed employee's ID? That's way too much to ask of a newcomer."
Cat Tree Lady replied coolly, "Maybe he was joking. Don't take the act too far. You're supposed to say your next line."
"Cough." The BOSS cleared her throat and deliberately returned to her hoarse voice. "Then—as I've told you, sincerity and trust are the most precious things in the station. You've hurt me once already. You stole an armed employee's gun, and you even dreamed of joining their ranks. You hurt yourself and trampled on my concern for you—and now you come to me in the name of a shared cause."
Jiang Xueming had already begun stealing the scene. "You handed me the Universal Elixir in front of everyone at the Council of Five Kings, with all eyes on us—including the hunters. Let's be honest."
He walked up to Black Cat and bent down.
"You never wanted my friendship, BOSS."
The BOSS pursed her lips and stole the scene back. "You were afraid of owing me a favor. I had to do something to make you change your mind and come back to this station."
"I don't mind trouble," Jiang Xueming said, getting to the point. "I'm afraid of unnecessary trouble, especially when it comes from you. The waiter you assigned me has a past I'd rather not remember."
The BOSS's expression was flippant and wanton, with a hint of mockery. She nodded. "I understand why you think the station is a terrifying abyss—but you made a fortune here, and your sister recovered. You don't need a friend like me anymore? Can't you protect yourself?"
"Okay, enough, that's enough, we get it." Jiang Xueming reminded her, "The first act's almost over. Can we get down to business?"
"You have no respect for me at all." The BOSS looked thoroughly disgusted. "Give me your jewelry."
"What do you want it for?" Jiang Xueming asked, suddenly feeling wary.
"To bear witness to our friendship. You give me the jewelry, the most important talisman that protects your life." The BOSS patiently explained, "I'll write a simple instruction manual for it. Trust me, kiss me, and let's have a [Love Theme]. As long as we trust each other, you'll be my new family."
Xue Ming, still unsure, pulled the pair of rings from his pocket and handed them to Cat Tree Lady.
The BOSS held out a forepaw, putting on an affected, exaggerated expression.
Jiang Xueming bent down and kissed Black Cat's paw, getting a mouthful of fur.
"Heeheeheehee! Heeheeheeheehee!" The BOSS's smile reminded Jiang Xueming of the old witch in a fairy tale.
He asked impatiently, "Hurry up and write the instructions for my rings."
"Don't rush me. I personally inspect every piece of jewelry we get from the Spirit Elder." The BOSS clapped her paws, and the mood lighting and music stopped.
The fun was over. She got down to business.
"A life-saving talisman is a lucky charm that helps you turn danger into safety. Its radiance can drive away spirits. Spirit Garments are armor our station buys from other organizations to fight Spirit Calamities and protect your mental strength and your brain. These are all gifts from the station."
She leaped onto the tall bookcase, pulled out a book, then put it back.
The bookcase immediately turned around. The shelves, which had been packed with thick books, had become weapon cabinets—though there were no weapons inside, only all sorts of staffs.
The BOSS jumped back onto the desk and explained to Xue Ming.
"As the station's BOSS, of course I give you the most practical and useful things."
"These variously sized, variously shaped sticks are an indispensable part of human civilization. The earliest primitive humans used sticks and strings to keep records, made slingshots and stone-throwing slings for hunting, and used them to build houses, make fishing rods, herd sheep, and beat wild animals."
She grew more excited as she spoke, her expression becoming increasingly fierce.
"To hit each other with, to fight, to kill people, to make pens and draw borders on maps, to start the first war. Just like the sticks themselves, they're utterly incomprehensible."
Cat Tree Lady coughed softly a few times.
The BOSS reined herself in a little, pulling back from her not-so-"dignified" attitude.
"Choose your stick."
Jiang Xueming walked along, looking—
—the weapon cabinets still had the notches and clasps where rifles used to sit, but now each one held a stick.
There were trekking poles, canes, monk's staffs, ceremonial staffs, batons, and pointers.
The different kinds of sticks came in all sorts of styles and materials. Xue Ming even spotted a broad-bladed, unsharpened greatsword standing in a huge weapon cabinet like a stick. A line of text was written on it.
[I really am a magic wand—believe me, I really am a magic wand]
Jiang Xueming wandered in front of the cabinets, trying to see everything, but there were too many of them and they were too complicated. He couldn't possibly make sense of the whole collection in a short time.
So he asked, "What should I do?"
"You can choose for yourself." The BOSS perked up and reminded him solemnly, "But don't touch anything. Once you've chosen, point to it and take it away. You can't change your mind halfway through, and there are no exchanges. Even if you break the stick, I won't give you another one. It'll stay with you for the rest of your life."
To be safe, Jiang Xueming pressed for more details.
"BOSS, what are these sticks for?"
The BOSS looked puzzled. "Didn't I explain?"
Jiang Xueming: "You're completely incapable of speaking like a normal person, aren't you?"
The atmosphere grew awkward.
But the BOSS couldn't stay awkward forever.
She leaned over, stuck her butt up, and stretched on the desk, as if she'd encountered someone terribly boring, completely unromantic, and determined to kill every last bit of mystery.
"Fine. They can all do a little something against spirits, or drive away dangerous monsters from the underground world. As for other functions, if you pick a trekking pole, you can use it to climb mountains. If you pick a pointer, you can teach your little waiter the right way to do the nine-times table—and that's it."
"Thank you for explaining. You're so considerate." Jiang Xueming asked one more question. "Do you have one that can fire three thousand six hundred rounds a minute—"
"Enough! Is that a stick?!" Before Jiang Xueming could finish, the BOSS arched her whole body and roared in shock.
"What if there's a possibility..." Jiang Xueming persisted. "I mean, what if there's a possibility? First of all, I definitely don't mean a gun. It just needs to fire three thousand six hundred—"
The BOSS replied icily, "No. You can leave. If you don't want to choose, then don't."
"Fine." Jiang Xueming sighed in disappointment. After making a full circuit, he finally pointed at the broad-bladed greatsword in the huge weapon cabinet. "I want that one. That one."
The BOSS raised her toes, her gaze ambiguous. "Think it through. Every stick has its own special qualities. Like the example I just mentioned: someone got a fishing rod once, and from then on, he became an excellent fisherman. These things are extremely functional. They're very special."
"If you don't want to give it to me, then don't." Jiang Xueming weighed it over. What did he need all those fancy frills for? He wanted something to smash the enemy's head in with.
A weapon was a weapon—
—it just needed to be sturdy, durable, and effective.
Besides, the BOSS had said it would stay with him for the rest of his life.
Steel was obviously the best choice. If it broke, he could always send it to a furnace to be reforged.
And he was about to set out. Any other stick that didn't suit him would need to be modified, while this broad-bladed greatsword looked reliable. It was odd that no one had chosen it yet.
When Jiang Xueming returned to stand in front of the greatsword,
the words on its blade had changed.
[Were you looking at other sticks just now?]
Though he found it strange—
—Jiang Xueming remained steadfast, pointing at the greatsword.
"I'll take this one."
The BOSS turned and told Cat Tree Lady to remove the heavy greatsword from the weapon cabinet. Then she fixed Jiang Xueming with a curious, eager look.
"Quick, quick, quick! Touch it! Quick! Let me see what it can do!"
"Uh..." Jiang Xueming anxiously took hold of the hilt.
It was practically a chunk of pig iron.
The rough hilt had plenty of blowholes left behind when the metal hadn't been heated enough during processing.
The blade was as solid as a club, with no balance whatsoever.
There was no ridge or full-length reinforcement, and no leather or wood wrapped around the tang.
The edge and tip were like a lump of rounded iron. It could only be called a sword because it had a roughly straight shape, and you could make out the bevel and ridge. You could also see the round pommel or counterweight at the end of the tang.
It had a few grooves for wrapping the grip and keeping it from slipping—proof that this iron rod had once been a sword.
It was about three and a half feet long and extremely heavy. If Jiang Xueming lifted it with one hand, his whole body trembled. He could swing it naturally with both hands. It weighed around twenty kilograms.
When Xue Ming gripped it, the words on the blade disappeared—
—and then there was silence.
The BOSS broke the silence. "Why isn't it reacting? It was showing words just now, wasn't it?"
Jiang Xueming didn't really care. It was good enough as a weapon.
He asked, "It's yours. Don't you know what it does?"
The BOSS explained helplessly, "Of course not! You sell beef offal. Can you remember the grain in every piece of beef offal you sell each day? I made this thing, but even my memory has limits, okay?"
Jiang Xueming thought for a moment. "It said on the blade that it was a magic wand."
"Oh! Then it should be able to cast spells, right?!" the BOSS prompted. "Focus. Pour all your attention into this piece of junk."
The moment she called it a piece of junk—
Before Jiang Xueming could do anything—
—the greatsword in his hand suddenly lit up.
A blinding flash, almost eight hundred lumens strong, instantly illuminated the entire office.
Jiang Xueming covered his eyes. They hurt terribly, and for a moment, he couldn't see a thing.
The BOSS was no different. Covering its cat eyes, it rolled around on the desk. "Fuck! My eyes!"
Only Cat Tree Lady remained perfectly composed—
—she had prepared a pair of sunglasses in advance.
When the light faded, Jiang Xueming gazed at the weapon in his hand, his eyes burning with fervor.
The BOSS shot the unruffled attendant a reproachful look.
"Why didn't you prepare a pair for me?"
Cat Tree Lady pouted and pulled another pair of cat sunglasses, meant for acting, from her jacket pocket. "I didn't have time."
"Uh, forget it. I'm not blaming you." The BOSS didn't make a fuss over it. Seeing the attendant's aggrieved expression, it softened at once.
It turned to Jiang Xueming and called out, "Looks like your Magic Wand only has one spell. It lights up. Don't be discouraged, though. I've made plenty of useless things myself. This one's no big deal. Some people have even worse luck. They picked with their eyes closed and ended up with a toilet plunger. After that guy reported to the Customer Service Department, the toilets throughout the station never stayed clogged for more than an hour."
"Powerful!" Jiang Xueming growled under his breath, as if he'd just obtained a priceless treasure. "Incredible! Invincible!"
The BOSS tried to say something else. "Uh, well..."
Jiang Xueming polished the divine weapon in his hand, caressing the heavy sword's blunt iron edge with a distinctly sensual touch.
"This combo of blinding them and bashing their heads in with a blunt weapon is just too powerful. I'm very satisfied. It's heavy and hard to swing, but that's not its fault. It's mine."
"All right. As long as you like it." The BOSS had nothing more to say, so it found something else to talk about. "Take your life-preserving talisman with you. I've already checked it. You'll get the instruction manual for the corundum rings before you leave."
With that, Cat Tree Lady prepared two gift boxes for the rings, tucked them inside, and handed them back to Jiang Xueming.
She also brought out a brocade case to store the greatsword.
"About your request for an armed employee badge..." The BOSS furrowed its white brows, looking troubled. "I'd advise you to think it over. You and I are family now. I can't have a newly welcomed family member running off to guard the house. Don't you agree? I don't know what you're capable of, after all. Before becoming an armed employee, all you had to do was evade the Armadillo Hunters under the attendant's protection. But once you become an armed employee, I'm afraid you'll have even more trouble on your hands."
"I understand." Jiang Xueming bowed in thanks, picked up the heavy brocade case, and put away the rings. "I'll be off, BOSS. I still need to get ready for the ride."
The BOSS waved a little handkerchief, looking just like Tom, on the verge of tears.
"Come by anytime!~"
Those three words made Jiang Xueming laugh. He suddenly thought the little Black Cat was quite cute.
Last time, he'd told the Black Cat, "Come by anytime!"
What he'd meant was, "Got it. Now get lost."
It had remembered that slight and had been waiting to get even.
Xue Ming had just walked out the door when he realized the manager wasn't there.
He went out to look, but couldn't find him at the Council of Five Kings either.
—He figured the manager had probably gone to pick up A Xing.
So he headed to the Customer Service Department, planning to wait for Xiao Qi to come out on the fourth floor.
Outside the Customer Service Department's restroom, a long corridor led to the staff lounge. By the small table inside,
Xiao Qi was talking with Ms. Zhao Yangchun.
Ms. Zhao Yangchun was Brother Seven's supervisor, and she was giving him an earful.
"Do you realize you took more than half a month off to go chase after a man? Are you his personal attendant?"
"Sorry about that."
"What exactly is an attendant's job? Do you have any idea? Work is work, and your personal life is your personal life. If the emergency Summoning Bell rings and you're missing from your post, what are you supposed to do when another passenger is in danger and needs you?"
"Sorry about that."
"Honestly, you're impossible, Xiao Qi. I'm not trying to be mean, but if you were a little more professional, you could be so much better."
"Sorry about that, Sis Yangchun. I know I'm always falling for someone and looking for a partner. I can't help it. Xue Ming could've been Gu Tianle or Nicholas Tse, and he still wanted me to hold out. I couldn't hold out."
"Could you stop speaking Cantonese? I can't understand!"
"Okay."
"You! All you do every day is act cute! What good does flirting with me do?"
"I know, dear big sis! I'll be careful, I'll be reserved, I'll be ladylike! I really will!"
Jiang Xueming walked up to Xiao Qi.
—He handed over the gift box with the rings.
Xiao Qi fainted.
It happened so fast that I didn't even have time to add any adjectives.
Just like a sudden fucking cardiac arrest.
Yangchun didn't even have time to catch her.
She hit the floor with a sudden thud.
Before the BOSS took its afternoon nap, it helped the stagehand, Cat Tree Lady, pack up the props from the scene. Holding a vinyl record, it asked one more question.
"I almost forgot. What's the full name of the song?"
Cat Tree Lady patiently explained.
"It's the Love Theme. The Godfather Love Theme."
Before you continue