Vampires

Edward said goodbye to the princess today and went home to catch up on some sleep. Maybe it was because of all the back-to-back activity over the past few days, but he slept until the afternoon. Rubbing his bleary eyes, he came to the shop out front in his pajamas, his hair sticking up like a bird's nest. He was shuffling along in a pair of cotton slippers. He was already worrying about what to do tonight. This was going to be a tough schedule to adjust to.

"Hey, Harry, you're still here? It's already past five." Edward glanced at Harry, then at the clock.

"Perfect timing, Edward. I was just about to come find you!"

Harry turned to face his employer.

"My cousin sent word today that a major customer from the Central Lands wants to buy a large quantity of our Alchemy Pots. He'd like you to join them for dinner tonight. He also said it'll be a formal dinner, so you'd better bring a female companion. I rang the bell for ages, but you didn't wake up."

Edward thought, Where am I supposed to find a female companion? One has already 'flown off,' and things haven't even gotten started with the other one! Even if they had, I wouldn't dare take the princess out to discuss business. So he asked:

"What did you tell them?"

"I said you had something on today and asked if we could reschedule. The messenger came back this afternoon and said you absolutely had to keep the shop open for now. They'll come by around six or seven tonight. So I've been waiting here.

"I figured you'd wake up by nightfall at the latest, so I agreed.

"Did that 'little sister' who stayed at your house a few days ago wear you out? Is your back still sore?" Harry asked with a lecherous grin.

Edward coughed twice. I am worn out, but not in the way you mean. He felt wronged enough as it was. Explaining the truth would only embarrass him more, so he let that pass and continued asking:

"Your cousin's the relative who came back from the Central Lands and now drives the carriage you used to drive, right?"

"Yeah, that's him."

"Then why didn't he just stop by and deliver the message himself? Why send someone else?" Edward asked, puzzled.

"I wondered the same thing. The messenger said the customer had hired my cousin's carriage and was visiting some Big Shots."

"All right, go home for now. I'll keep an eye on the place."

After sending Harry home, Edward went behind the Screen Wall and changed into a different outfit. He once again became the shop assistant in a shirt, suspenders, and a slicked-back hairstyle. He even straightened his jaunty little bow tie in the mirror, feeling like Little Li from Titanic in his Previous Life. Well, at least he was thinner than him now.

Then he waited around the shop, bored. A few days ago, he'd never have waited for some "major customer." There was only one shop like his in the whole world. Buy or don't buy; he wasn't short on money.

But when Monica left, he'd given her all one thousand gold coins and told her things like, "You need to travel with plenty of money, so don't scrimp on yourself along the way," sounding just like a father sending his daughter off to college. The beautiful woman had been so moved that tears welled in her eyes. So now that Edward was completely out of cash, every customer was God.

But "God" was taking his time. Edward had already eaten a pizza from his Spatial Ring. It had still been steaming when he took it out. He'd already tested it: things stored in the Spatial Ring didn't retain their temperature indefinitely, but they cooled very slowly. The temperature dropped by about one degree every few days, and the closer something got to room temperature, the more slowly it lost heat, until it was about the same as the surrounding temperature. He'd planned to leave a few thermometers in the Spatial Ring to find out exactly what its room temperature was, but Monica's arrival had interrupted the experiment.

Just as Edward was so bored that he'd picked up the weapons in the display area and started polishing them one by one, the Copper Bell hanging on the shop door rang.

"Welcome!" Edward hung the Filial Son Sword he'd been polishing back on the wall and turned to greet the visitors. At the same time, he caught a strange, overpowering scent of perfume.

The visitors were the two strange men from earlier that day. Harry's family carriage was still visible outside the window. The two men no longer had their daytime face paint on, revealing skin far paler than normal. They were young and handsome, though their lips were unnaturally bloodred.

"Are you Edward Smith?" one of them asked with an eerie smile.

"That's me. Are you the friends Harry's cousin referred?" Edward frowned slightly. The two didn't seem like they'd come to discuss business, and their tone was rather impolite.

"I'm Count Frian of Transylvania, and this is Count Jacob, my companion." The handsome man who'd spoken glanced back at his companion. The other man seemed to have been sniffing the moment he entered, so he gave him a confirming look.

"What can I do for you two?" Edward asked.

"We're looking for someone. A woman with the same hair and eye color as you, about as tall as the tip of your nose." He gestured across his chest, then grinned. "She's well endowed. Do you know where she is?"

Edward covered his forehead and said in sudden realization, "I thought those monsters had noticed Monica. Turns out it's just two vampires who followed her scent here..."

"Since you've recognized us as Blood Race, then... can you tell us where she is?" Count Frian tilted his head at an angle no ordinary person could manage, grinning to reveal a mouthful of sharp teeth, especially his two prominent fangs. His eyes were wide, with lots of white and tiny irises. His pupils had shrunk to pinpoints, and the veins stood out on his face.

"Shoo, shoo! Stop baring your teeth." Edward waved his hand as if shooing a dog that was about to bite. He even bent down as if to pick up a stone.

The two "counts" seemed deeply insulted, their expressions growing even more ferocious.

"Listen up, human brat! Where's that woman? You're just a lowly Alchemist. Be careful, or we'll tear you to pieces!"

"You mean Monica? She's gone."

"Where'd she go?"

"There's no point in asking. You're just two 'counts' about as strong as Great Knights. Even if you caught up with her, she'd cut you both down in a single stroke. You might as well just die here," Edward said nonchalantly.

At that moment, Count Jacob lunged forward. His hand transformed into a huge, razor-sharp talon like a hawk's, and he grabbed Edward by the throat, pinning him against the Wood wall of the Screen Wall, his feet dangling in the air. Jacob brought his face close to Edward's. A rank, fishy stench shot straight up Edward's nose, and he turned away, covering his nose in disgust.

"Brat! Talk!" Jacob snarled at Edward, though the feel of him seemed a little off. The man's neck was strangely hard. Jacob could only grip it, not hurt him. Even with his feet off the ground, Edward showed no sign of struggling to breathe.

"Hold on, don't get your face so close. You stink," Edward said, covering his nose.

Jacob moved his face a little farther away. The ferocious veins on his face and his protruding fangs slowly receded.

"Now talk. You'd better know what's good for you!"

"Before I answer, can I ask you two something? Why are you looking for Monica?"

"Heh heh. She's a legendary Pureblood. Her blood can help us break through the limits of our lineage and advance another rank. Then we'll both be Marquises, Jiejiejie... I've heard a Pureblood's blood can even awaken our noble Dracula..."

So this is what being 'baptized' does? She's practically become Tang Monk's flesh, Edward thought.

Jacob cackled. He ignored Count Frian, who clearly thought he was saying too much. He sniffed Edward as well, then continued:

"You're a Pureblood too! Your scent is a little strange, though—something like it and something not. Tell me where she went, and I'll make your death quick and painless. Your blood is enough for both of us to advance. Once we catch that woman, we'll take her back to awaken Lord Dracula..."

Count Frian had already covered his face in exasperation. He'd never heard anyone threaten someone like this. There was no hope left at all—how could the man possibly talk? Jacob wasn't just a pervert; he was an idiot, too.

Yet Edward, still held by the throat, spoke calmly:

"Sure, I can tell you. She went to the Rainforest Country. Even if you catch the next fast ship, it'll take you half a month to get there. Relax, no need to rush. Before you suck my blood, could you answer a question that's puzzled me for years? Curiosity is a Caster's occupational hazard, after all."

"What question?" Count Jacob replied instinctively.

"Are you really afraid of sunlight? Look, the Magic Lamp in my shop is just as bright as the sun. Why aren't you afraid of that?"

"There's something in sunlight that you humans can't see... That's what we..." Count Frian cut him off and signaled for him to kill the Alchemist in front of them. They'd already gotten what they wanted, anyway. This Alchemist seemed just as crazy as Jacob. Something wasn't right.

"Wait, wait. Could you two help me with a little experiment?" Edward asked with a smile.

"What experiment?" Jacob's curiosity stirred. He thought this Alchemist was interesting, not forgetting to do experiments even with death staring him in the face. He even brushed aside Frian's hand as he tried to pull him away.

"Before I begin the experiment, allow me to introduce my new Alchemical product: the Ultraviolet Sterilization Lamp." The Alchemist pointed to a white, square box mounted near the ceiling in the corner. It had a metal mesh casing and four purple tubes inside.

The two vampires instinctively looked toward the box. At the same time, Edward cast a spell: the Zero-Level Trick, Mage Hand. There was a click from the switch on the box. The purple tubes lit up.

"Ah—my eyes!"

Blisters instantly erupted across the vampires' faces and exposed skin, then burst with a popping sound. Wisps of Black Smoke rose from their tightly shut eyes. Count Jacob no longer had time to worry about Edward. Clutching his head, he and Frian leaped toward the shop door, but somehow it had been locked tight. They slammed into it together. The glass they'd thought they could easily smash only cracked in two huge spiderweb patterns.

They thought one more hit would be enough to escape this terrifying place. But the terrifying light was even stronger than they'd imagined. They no longer had the strength.

Black Smoke began billowing from the two vampire counts. They were starting to burn on their own. Through their hazy senses, they heard Edward's gentle voice, like a demon's whisper from Hell:

"The ultraviolet rays in sunlight are the invisible thing you were talking about, right? This is a powerful ultraviolet tube made from a Quartz tube filled with Mercury vapor. It's several times stronger than the ultraviolet rays in sunlight. Looks like the experiment was a complete success. Thank you both for your wholehearted support. Rest in peace..."