Bash You Over the Head

What should one do when a bandit runs into another bandit? No one could answer that question for Chu Liuxiang.

Chu Liuxiang awkwardly rubbed his nose and looked at He Heng. "I never imagined that the famous Longevity Sword would take up my line of work. The world really is full of surprises."

He Heng had made quite a name for himself in the martial world in this lifetime. Chu Liuxiang was also well-informed, so naturally he knew who He Heng was.

But He Heng didn't seem inclined to waste words with him. He immediately shouted, "Cut the small talk. Hand over everything valuable on you, or I'll kill you and leave you for the crows!"

"Uh..." Chu Liuxiang hesitated. He compared his own abilities with those of the legendary Longevity Sword, looked at the sharp sword in the other man's hand, then glanced at his own empty hands.

As a man who prided himself on his cleverness, Chu Xiangshuai had no intention of testing the sharpness of the Longevity Sword to see if he could snatch it barehanded.

His solution, naturally, was to make the most of his strength... and run!

No, this was a strategic retreat!

Without the slightest hesitation, Chu Liuxiang spun around and bolted. As the wind howled, afterimages streaked through the air behind him.

"In our line of work, you have to be good at Lightness Skill." Chu Liuxiang was congratulating himself when a chill suddenly swept over his back. He hurriedly dodged aside.

When he looked back, He Heng was right on his heels, graceful as a Banished Immortal descending to earth, untouched by a speck of dust. Wielding the Longevity Sword, he sent wave after wave of sword qi slashing toward Chu Liuxiang's back.

"How are you so fast...?" Chu Liuxiang shouted, rapidly shifting directions in midair and narrowly evading the sword qi.

Even so, cold sweat drenched Chu Liuxiang's back. He had seen what happened to that boulder. Under He Heng's sword, it had been no tougher than tofu, sliced apart in an instant. He certainly didn't think his own body was any harder than a rock.

"Haha! Chu Liuxiang, you're impressive. You can change direction in the middle of a full sprint and dodge my sword qi. Your Lightness Skill really is second to none!" He Heng pursued him, making no secret of his admiration. Then he sent another endless wave of swordlight slashing after him.

"Damn it, the martial world's too dangerous. I should retire..." Seeing all those streaks of sword qi whistling toward him, Chu Xiangshuai, who felt he couldn't keep up with the times, immediately took to his heels.

He Heng pursued him relentlessly with Flying Immortal Wander, sticking close to Chu Liuxiang and occasionally unleashing sword qi. Chu Liuxiang's heart lurched with every strike, and he narrowly escaped disaster again and again.

But the man really was a rare genius. Though every attack brought him to the brink, he always found a way out at the most perilous moment, dodging He Heng's sword qi without a scratch.

Even so, Chu Liuxiang was so frightened that his heart pounded. He cursed inwardly.

Damn it, what the hell? A master this powerful, and he can't even afford food? Why come after me and steal my livelihood? It's hard enough being a bandit these days!

He Heng and Chu Liuxiang chased and fled until they soon reached a riverbank. Seeing that He Heng was still some distance behind him, and parched after running for so long, Chu Liuxiang decided to stop for a drink.

Suddenly, he noticed a twelve- or thirteen-year-old child crying by the river, looking utterly miserable.

Chu Liuxiang, who had always been chivalrous, couldn't bear to see a child cry, so he hurried over and reached out to help.

The child was sturdy and handsome, except for a vicious scar across his face that ruined his looks and made him seem frightening.

That only stirred Chu Liuxiang's sympathy further. He hurried over, helped the boy up, and asked, "Little brother, what's your name? Why are you crying?"

"Waaah, my parents don't want me anymore. They said I'm ugly. I miss them so much!" the scar-faced child sobbed.

"Alas!" Chu Liuxiang sighed. Another tragedy of Human Relations. He didn't know what to say, so he simply held the boy's head and comforted him.

Unfortunately, Chu Liuxiang was exhausted and didn't pay close attention. A sly glint flashed in the child's eyes. Then a wooden stick shot from his sleeve and smashed into the back of Chu Liuxiang's head.

"You..." Chu Liuxiang realized something was wrong, but it was too late. The stick struck the back of his head, and he immediately passed out.

Poor Chu Liuxiang, a renowned thief with a lifetime of glory behind him, had actually been brought down by a child.

"Haha! No matter how impressive you are, you'll still fall to me, the smartest man under heaven!" After knocking Chu Liuxiang out with a single blow, the child burst into laughter. He failed to notice the figure standing right behind him.

"Heh heh, I also think you're one of the smartest people in the world. And I'm grateful you took Chu Liuxiang down for me, so..." He Heng let out a sinister laugh and loomed over the child, claws bared.

"Ah...!"

A child's scream pierced the moonlit night. Then came two splashes, as if something had fallen into the river.

He Heng looked over his haul and nodded with satisfaction. "The martial world's only getting harder to survive in. Being a bandit is still the way to go."

As he spoke, he gazed deep into the river and gave a cold smile.

When Chu Liuxiang woke again, he found himself floating naked in the river. He sneezed; apparently, he'd caught a chill.

"Looks like I really did run into a formidable fellow in my line of work. He didn't even leave me a stitch of clothing. Thank goodness I'm in the river. Otherwise, how could I show my face in public?" Chu Liuxiang congratulated himself.

Not far away, another naked figure floated on the water: the scar-faced boy. Seeing him made Chu Liuxiang's anger flare.

"Damn brat, you dare hit me over the head? I'll teach you a lesson." With that, Chu Liuxiang swam furiously toward him.

If not for the boy, he wouldn't have ended up like this.

Seeing Chu Liuxiang bearing down on him, the boy, who had only just woken up himself, hurriedly called out, "Please spare me, big brother! Xiao Yu'er apologizes. I didn't do it on purpose. I'm sorry!"

Having already been fooled once, Chu Liuxiang didn't believe a word the brat said. He put on a menacing look and shouted, "Heh heh, so you're Xiao Yu'er? Today I'll sink you to the riverbed and make you a real fish."

"Please don't, big brother! Xiao Yu'er knows he was wrong. You're so magnanimous—you wouldn't hold it against me, would you?" Xiao Yu'er called out repeatedly.

"That's right, I am a magnanimous man..." Chu Liuxiang fixed him with a cold stare, then pounced.

A scream of utter agony rang out. Xiao Yu'er looked at Chu Liuxiang with a pitiful, resentful gaze.

"Waaah, you're a bad person. You're bullying a child..."

"@%$..." Chu Liuxiang.

Seeing Xiao Yu'er cry, Chu Liuxiang had felt a little guilty. But then he caught the boy's shifty eyes darting around, and immediately pounced on him again, smacking him on the head.

"I wonder whose kid you are. You've got a whole bellyful of tricks."

"Ow..." Xiao Yu'er cried out, glaring at Chu Liuxiang with no friendliness at all. "You actually hit me, the smartest man under heaven!"

"Smartest man under heaven? Heh. You still got knocked out with a stick." Chu Liuxiang mocked him.

"I'm still better than you. You got knocked out by me!" Xiao Yu'er rubbed the bump on his head and muttered through the pain.

At the reminder, Chu Liuxiang grew even angrier. He glared fiercely at Xiao Yu'er, who met his gaze without the slightest fear.

After a long while, Chu Liuxiang's expression fell. "All right, let's stop this. We need to think of something soon. We can't stay in the water forever."

"What's wrong with staying in the water? Do you want to run naked on shore?"

Even Chu Liuxiang couldn't help blushing at that. He'd been a bandit all his life, yet someone had robbed him of every last stitch of clothing. How could he ever show his face again?

"Heh heh..." Xiao Yu'er snickered.

Just then, Chu Liuxiang's eyes lit up. Not far ahead was a large ship—a ship he knew very well, because it was his own.

"Hey, hey! Tian'er, Hongxiu, Rong'er! Stop! Pull me aboard!" Chu Liuxiang immediately unleashed a martial art like Lion's Roar, shouting so loudly that his voice shook the river and sent ripples skimming over the water.

His cries worked. Before long, the ship changed course and stopped near him.

Then three young women came out onto the deck. When they saw Chu Liuxiang standing there stark naked, their cheeks flushed crimson, and they hurried back inside.

"Tian'er, Hongxiu, Rong'er, hurry! This water's freezing me to death!" Chu Liuxiang shouted from below.

A moment later, someone tossed down a set of clothes for him to put on. Only then did the three women come out again, laughing as they looked at him.

"I never thought our Young Master Chu would get stripped bare one day. This is so satisfying! Hahahaha..." one of the young women teased. The other two laughed along with her.

Chu Liuxiang's face turned bright red. He wished he could sink to the bottom of the river, mortified. "Stop teasing me, you three! Hurry up and pull me aboard. I'm freezing to death!"