Slaying Father and Kin

After Qing Nü said those words, An Lushan froze where he stood.

He had imagined many things.

He had imagined what excuses Qing Nü might offer, how she might comfort him.

But he had never imagined that Qing Nü would say something like this so directly. With that tone, with those words, it was as though she truly wished he had died in that desolate winter day of his childhood. But... why? An Lushan did not understand.

"Why?"

"Why would you do this?"

An Lushan asked.

Watching An Lushan question her in a voice torn raw with emotion, Qing Nü paused for a moment, then sighed.

"Because I knew you would commit such deeds in the future, so I wanted to kill you."

"Unfortunately, I failed. And that left me having to seek other ways to mend the calamity sweeping across the world! Do you think I would feel any goodwill toward you?"

After saying that, Qing Nü calmly watched An Lushan.

An Lushan staggered.

He retreated several steps, shaking his head wildly.

"No!"

"That's impossible."

"Lady Gui!"

"You were so kind back then. You couldn't possibly have had such thoughts."

Qing Nü watched him stumble back, her brows knitting slightly.

"Deceiving yourself."

"..."

"Would killing me have spared Great Tang from today's disaster?"

An Lushan suddenly demanded.

Qing Nü's expression did not change. She nodded and said, "It still would have come, but perhaps not like this. Perhaps a few years later. Perhaps far more peacefully."

"There are not so many perhapses in this world. I can only use my own way to push this world forward."

After she finished speaking, An Lushan fell silent.

After a long while.

An Lushan drew a deep breath and slumped to the ground.

"Then why... did you come to see me?"

"To