First of all, this book will go premium on August 1.
A launch note after two years... As I wrote the title, all I felt was bewilderment.
Writing these notes had, without my noticing, become a difficult task.
Even before I started this book, I had planned, as usual, to write a note for the new release. Yet after resting my fingers on the keyboard for ages, I truly had no idea what to say. In the end, I could only claim that creators should let their work speak for them... In truth, I had many thoughts, many stories in my heart. They simply refused to turn into words.
After writing for over a decade and entering middle age, it seemed I had naturally lost the ability to express myself freely and let my emotions burst forth.
My typing speed had not declined, and my mind was still as active when I chatted idly in group chats or fired off sharp takes on all kinds of games on Bilibili. It was as though I simply became sluggish whenever I wrote fiction or commented on fiction.
My conclusion after reflecting on myself was that it was because of shame.
Writing was truly something both exhilarating and shameful. It was exhilarating because the act of expression naturally felt good; it was shameful because, after the rush had passed, looking at the things I had expressed became unbearable.
In all my years of creating, I had never been satisfied with any of my works. The wildly over-the-top Big Collapse was no exception, nor was that Spirit Sword Mountain that had poured out in a burst of inspiration, much less the works that came afterward. And the more time passed, the more I felt that my writing and plotting had become unbearably clumsy.
Because