These past few days, I'd been in terrible shape. Yesterday and today, sitting in front of the computer, even though I knew the outline and content for this final arc perfectly well, the moment my fingers touched the keyboard, my mind went completely blank. I was terribly distracted; my body was in front of the computer, but my thoughts were drifting everywhere.
And so the time just slipped away.
Things had been like this lately as well. Updates would occasionally stop for a day, and whenever there was one, it had been forced out through sheer will.
My editor once told me that six months was the point at which even veteran authors could completely lose their passion and motivation to write. After that, they could only slowly keep going through the willpower and self-discipline honed over time, along with the more complete outlines and detailed preparations made beforehand.
After Pan Pan tested positive in December, I had actually already felt like I couldn't keep going. All at once, the breath went out of me. Then, because the unstable updates caused my follow-up readership to drop, I gritted my teeth and dragged myself through another two months before slowly getting back on track after the new year.
During that period, I finally understood why authors always ended up abandoning their novels, dropping them, or disappearing without a word. I also realized that many books launched around the same time last year, with similar results, had already stopped updating.
But Hei Pan knew my own nature. I knew that once I gave up on something, once I abandoned a novel, there would be a second and a third time afterward. So even when my editor said that if I really couldn't hold on, it wasn't impossible to put it down, I