Acquire MGM?!
All right, Zucker really did have that ambition. After all, MGM's film library contained more than 5,000 movies. The rights to those films were the foundation of a major studio, and they also brought in tens of millions of dollars every year from television networks and the DVD and videotape markets. Zucker couldn't help being tempted.
The problem was, he had no money!
He had to set aside what little he had to pay taxes at the end of April.
"Looks like I'll have to find a way to make some money. Otherwise, forget about growing the studio—I won't even be able to make Spider-Man."
"System, are you still alive?"
"..."
Zucker was so angry he could barely stand it. That damned system was fucking useless! Apart from occasionally providing a little information about the future, it was good for nothing. A twenty-first-century computer would be more useful.
The most useless system ever. No contest!
The idea of making money was wonderful, but putting it into practice was far too difficult.
Sure, Run Lola Run was about to be released. In the original timeline, it had earned a pretty good reputation, but it wasn't exactly a box-office hit. The movie could put Wald Pictures in the spotlight, but it probably wouldn't make much at the box office. As for how much profit it would ultimately bring in, Zucker had no idea. After all, it wasn't the original film—it was made by him, a rookie director.
Thinking he could get rich off it was just wishful thinking.
"Futures?"
"I remember those can make money fast!"
In an instant, Zucker thought of futures, which naturally brought the financial titan Soros to mind.
In 1992, Soros had bet against the pound and made a billion dollars in a short time. In 1997, he bet against the Thai baht and the Hong Kong dollar, helping trigger the Asian financial crisis. Then, in 2012, he shorted the Japanese yen and made another billion dollars.
For a while after graduating in his previous life, Zucker had been obsessed with the so-called myths of wealth. He'd studied the stock market and read a few articles about Soros, so he had a basic understanding of him.
But—
For fuck's sake, it was 1996!
There was still more than a year until Soros's attack on the Thai baht in July 1997. How could that be Zucker's best option for making money right now?
The stock market?!
At that moment, Zucker thought of the stock market. After all, most of his fortune came from stocks. They didn't make money as quickly as futures, but they still paid well. Besides, the late 1990s were the internet's boom years. Where else would the bubble have come from?
Netscape, Cisco, Comcast, Microsoft, Apple, Amazon...
A whole list of internet companies sprang into Zucker's mind.
Netscape?
It was the first one he ruled out!
It was true that Zucker had made his fortune when Netscape went public, but that was exactly why he didn't dare buy its stock.
He knew too much about it.
Netscape had gone public in August 1995. Its stock had reached a high of $75 on the first day, an astonishing success. As The Wall Street Journal put it, General Motors had taken 43 years to reach a market value of $2.7 billion, while Netscape had done it in "about one minute."
But what soared to its peak was bound to fall.
Microsoft's Internet Explorer had arrived and was being promoted everywhere.
The battle between Netscape Navigator and Internet Explorer would later be called the "browser wars." By December 1997, Netscape's stock had fallen below $20 a share. It had lost to Microsoft across the board.
"Buying Netscape now would be suicide. But next year, I could short it and make a little extra cash."
"Cisco's stock still has room to rise, though it won't gain much this year. The gains in '98 and '99 are the ones that'll be incredible. I could buy a little. I won't lose money, anyway."
Apple?
Forget it. Before Jobs returned in 1997, Apple was still a rotten apple, barely clinging to life.
Comcast?
It was the second-largest internet service provider in the United States. By 2020, its market value would exceed $200 billion. It was always buying something, acquiring one company or merging with another, and its stock had been rising almost constantly. But its gains in '96 and '97 weren't all that impressive.
Amazon?
Sure, it was a giant company. But come on—it had only been founded in 1995. It was still a tiny newcomer, and it wouldn't go public until 1997.
After running through his options, Zucker came to a startling conclusion:
The stock market could make people rich, but given what he knew, getting rich overnight from stocks this year was nearly impossible!
(Cisco and Microsoft's stock prices did keep rising, but that didn't mean he could make a fortune in a short time.)
Just like that, Zucker's dream of striking it rich on the stock market shattered!
"Good grief, why is making money so hard?!"
Zucker nearly let out a cry to the heavens.
He barely slept that night. When he got up early the next morning, he was completely drained, but he forced himself out of bed anyway.
He had no choice. It was already early April. The managers and accountants from all the SpongeBob House locations were meeting that morning to report on recent business.
Eris Cafe.
It was near the TCL Chinese Theatre, right next door to the flagship SpongeBob House. That made it Zucker's regular meeting place at the end of every month.
It saved money!
"Boss, thanks to Toy Story's huge success, our merchandise is still selling well even though the movie has left theaters. After deducting labor, utilities, property costs, and other expenses, the flagship store made a net profit of $70,000 this month," James, the store manager, said first.
"Boss, the second store made a net profit of $63,000 this month."
"The third store made a net profit of $40,000."
In the end, the seven SpongeBob House locations had made a combined net profit of $345,000. That was down eight percent from last month's $375,000.
Down again?
That was right. Net profits had been falling since January.
Still, Zucker could accept it. The buzz around Toy Story had died down. Besides, since January, he had deliberately lowered the prices of the merchandise to encourage customers to come back.
In fact, compared with other movie-merchandise chains in Los Angeles, SpongeBob House's individual stores were still among the top three earners.
Since Zucker was so low-energy that day, the meeting ended quickly.
They left the cafe.
"Zucker, what's wrong with you today?" James asked curiously afterward.
"I'm out of money. I'm unhappy." Zucker waved a hand.
James's brows furrowed at that.
What the hell!
You're making more than $300,000 in net profit a month. What do you have to be unhappy about? Even if profits fall over the next few months, you're still projected to make $3 million this year, and you're saying you're out of money?!
Of course, James didn't say any of that aloud.
After all, they were at different levels now, and they had different things to worry about.
"Jenny, are you really thinking of buying Yahoo stock? I heard the company isn't doing very well. You might lose money on that investment."
"It's fine. I'm not planning to buy much, anyway."
Just then, a burst of conversation reached Zucker's ears.
Yahoo?!
Zucker instantly jolted.
Before you continue