"I."
On your right palm, you wrote:
"K."
"The umbrella's handle had I & K engraved on it. They were the initials of our names."
"What happened after that?"
She took the sheet from Kusakabe Ayako's hands, then deftly folded it into a paper crane.
"Ah, I forgot."
Kusakabe Ayako watched in silence as the other woman regretfully unfolded the paper again and vigorously crossed out the words "For the crime of killing Kitagawa Ryo."
"I love you."
As a psychiatrist, Kusakabe Ayako rarely admitted defeat. But facing Ichinose Honami, she experienced the helplessness of failure for the first time. She left the room, looking at the paper crane in her hand as she thought about it.
She turned her gaze toward the empty room.
Ichinose Honami had fallen asleep with the birthday card clutched in her hand, the corners of her mouth turned up as if she were having a beautiful dream.
Chapter 29: One More Time
[You brushed aside the scene before your eyes. You found yourself in a corridor filled with fragments of dreams. The walls, ceiling, and even the floor beneath your feet all played different scenes:]
["N-no... I can't." In a park in late autumn, Ichinose Honami rejected someone's confession.]
["We don't want it. We might just throw it away if we take it with us, so please take it back." In a temple halfway up a mountain, Ichinose Honami returned an unopened fortune slip to the monk.]
["Since Ryo's all right, I'll head home first. Mom will worry if I get back too late, and I still have to tell Maki about your condition." In a snow-white hospital room, Ichinose Honami had rushed over in the rain, but left after seeing someone just once.]
[And finally, the fireworks lit up the ground beneath Ichinose Honami's shadow. The shifting light made it stretch and grow in an instant. The shadow twisted forward, vicious yet feeble, gripping a knife.]
["This... feels so familiar."
You remembered the last thing Hotaru had said in your mind:
"Then anywhere will do. They're all nightmares she has while unconscious, so it doesn't matter which one."]
["Are these the nightmares Honami has unconsciously?"
"But they're so real."
You took one step after another. No matter how bizarre a person's dreams became, they had to come from some real-life inspiration or past event. Yet this sea of nightmares belonging to Ichinose Honami always gave you the feeling that they had truly happened.
"As if they were from another parallel world."]
[You looked up at the screen blocking your way. After her shoplifting, Ichinose Honami had shut herself away for half a year before finally enrolling at Tokyo Koutou Ikusei Junior High School.]
[This seemed to be the only timeline in which you didn't appear.
You stood there, silently watching Ichinose Honami struggle.
"If Senior Nagumo can lend me four million Private Points to make sure Class B isn't expelled, I can accept his request to date."
Ah, how strange.
How could anyone say something so completely inconsiderate of herself? You reached out and brushed the scene aside.]
["If she's really in a difficult position, I want to help her. No matter who it's for, I'll do everything I can. Even if it eventually drives me into a corner." Ichinose Honami declared.
How strange. Was Ichinose Honami really this kind of girl? Hey, hey, that's no way to lead. If your opponents noticed such an obvious weakness, you'd never recover.
"Lunchtime's a little lonely lately, with just Honami and me eating together. The Student Council keeps us so busy, after all. At least we can talk to each other about our troubles." The insincere smile on the annoying blond beneath your feet made you feel a little sick. You stepped on his face and kept walking.]
["No, I can't find it this way."
You felt more and more information flooding into your mind. Even with a stronger resolve than most people, you couldn't memorize everything here all at once, then pick through it and separate truth from falsehood to find the clues Ichinose Honami had left for you.
"If this is Ichinose Honami's dream..."
"Then when do people place their fantasies inside a dream?"
"What kind of person entrusts their hopes to a dream?"
"And what kind of person was Ichinose Honami, as you remembered her?"
You stopped paying attention to all the information swirling around you. Using the most forceful and brutal way of thinking, you gathered up the memories remaining in your mind, the factors making up your current situation, the clues, possible answers, and evidence, then returned to the root of the problem.]
["There has to be a clue I missed."
"If the first dream I entered without any memories was Ichinose Honami's most original dream, then there must still be a clue I haven't found."
"But how do I return to that dream now?"
You tapped your head, focusing on this one question alone.
"Suppose the first dream was a reality that 'Ichinose Honami' believed to be real. Then it could indeed be a timeline she imagined, like the one I just saw where she stabbed me to death. After committing the crime of killing her childhood friend, she'd probably long for a beautiful dream like that, where I didn't leave her, and we fell in love and got married... If someone wanted to return to reality from a dream, would killing themselves in the dream be a good idea?"
You slowly covered your mouth and nose with both hands, gradually holding your breath, as if you were a child competing with other kids to see who could hold their breath the longest. Soon, your lungs began to cry out again.
As though trying to restrain this self-destructive act, your heart beat far faster than before, and your brain screamed, trying to pull your body back to reality.
You felt the strength drain from your knees and body. A sense of weakness. Or... something close to nothingness rose from within you.
The line between life and death began to blur.
The human body yearned to survive, but your forceful will suppressed your survival instinct at that moment.
The dream before you continued playing over and over.
"If Senior Nagumo can lend me four million Private Points to make sure Class B isn't expelled, I can accept his request to date."
How could a girl say such demeaning things about herself? And you were Ichinose Honami, of all people. You couldn't say that, even in a dream.
"One more time."
As your vision gradually darkened, your lips, already turning blue-white from suffocation, curled into a hopeful smile.]
["Huff, huff, huff, huff."
You jolted awake in bed, gasping for air like someone who had nearly drowned and finally taken their first breath. You sat up, panting in terror. The woman sleeping beside you woke at the noise and sleepily switched on the bedside lamp. Its warm, pale-yellow light instantly enveloped you both.]
"Did you have a nightmare, Ryo?"
Ichinose Honami sat up too and pulled you into her arms. Being woken by the person beside you wasn't exactly pleasant, but she didn't seem to mind at all. She simply drew you into her embrace and spoke in a lazy, gentle voice:
"I told you not to take those weird medicines the doctor prescribed before bed. Never mind, I'll throw them away tomorrow."
She gently patted your back and brought her soft lips close to your ear.
"It's okay, it's okay. I'm here. I'm right here."
As you sorted through the confused memories in your mind and calmed your heart after coming so close to death, you cautiously asked:
"The doctor? Dr. Sakayanagi?"
"Of course. I told you that psychiatrist was weird and couldn't be trusted. Besides, there's nothing wrong with you having lost your memory. Since we got married six months ago, it's my responsibility to take care of you. And I can do a great job of looking after you."
She slipped her arm around your back, beneath your armpit. You felt Ichinose Honami nuzzling your chin.
You looked around and spotted a box of capsules on the bedside table to your right, with a piece of paper that looked like a prescription slip underneath it.
You reached out and brought the paper closer, slowly making out the words in the dim lamplight:
"Name: Kitagawa Ryo. Symptoms include memory loss. After speaking with the patient, we recommend taking..."
...That handwriting looked familiar. You suddenly realized with a start that the writing on this prescription slip was almost identical to that on a document you'd seen before. Was it the note that said, "Don't believe anything Ichinose Honami says," or the love letter Ichinose Honami claimed Kitagawa Ryo had written to her?
No, you clearly remembered it just a moment ago. But the next second, the shape of the handwriting—and even the existence of the love letter and that note—began to fade from your memory, like fine sand trickling through an hourglass.
"What time is it now...?"
"Oh, it's 5:57. It'll be light soon. What would you like for breakfast, Ryo?"
"You lose your memory every morning."
You suddenly recalled this absurd premise. You hurriedly pulled free of Ichinose Honami's embrace and rushed into the living room without even putting on your shoes. Just as you remembered, there was a landline phone there. You quickly dialed Sakayanagi Arisu's number.
"Hello, this is psychiatrist Sakayanagi Arisu."
The same cool voice came through the line the next moment. You didn't have time to think. Your memories were disappearing even faster than you'd imagined. The flowers in a vase on the windowsill swayed in the early morning breeze, and the sunlight seemed about to pass through them and spill into the house.
"I'm Kitagawa Ryo, your very first patient!"
You nearly shouted, but quickly remembered Ichinose Honami was there. You held your breath and lowered your voice.
"If I call you again, no matter how long it's been, you have to tell me:
'Climb out the window and jump from there.'"
"Hm? I don't understand what you mean, but is there anything else you need to say?"
Sakayanagi Arisu asked in confusion, but the next moment, all she heard was the dial tone.
Ichinose Honami picked up the receiver from the floor and gently put it back on the phone. She walked over and embraced you as you stood there, bewildered.
"Um, who am I? And who are you? Where am I?"
You seemed to have forgotten a lot of things. By the time you came to your senses, you could already feel the warmth in your arms.
Ichinose Honami looked up and pressed her right index finger to your lips.
"I'm your wife. You're Kitagawa Ryo, my husband."
"We've been married for 237 days. There are 128 days left until our wedding anniversary."
"Don't be afraid. I'll always be with you."
"Mm."
At her gentle words, you gave up thinking altogether and sank into her embrace.]
["Hey, Eiichiro, Ryo's been asleep here for a whole day. Is he really all right?"
Nanase Tsubasa tugged at her childhood friend, Matsuo Eiichiro, who stood beside her. She looked worriedly at Kitagawa Ryo, who lay motionless and unconscious in the hospital bed. Ichinose Honami lay quietly in the bed beside him. Both were breathing steadily, as though they were simply asleep.
"In the end, you were the one who insisted that Ryo go to Tokyo to find Ichinose Honami. And now look—both of them have ended up like this."
When Nanase Tsubasa saw that Matsuo Eiichiro didn't seem to want to answer, she stamped her foot in frustration.
"There was no other choice. Ever since Ryo was kicked out of the White Room at fourteen, he's been constantly losing his memory. Other than his childhood friend Ichinose Honami, who spent his early years with him before he turned ten, I can't think of anyone else who might be able to help him remember."
Matsuo Eiichiro pressed his lips together, looking worriedly at his friend in the hospital bed.
After saying that, he fell silent again. For a while, the only sound in the hospital room was the steady breathing of the four of them. So when the white cat suddenly moved, it immediately caught their attention.
"Hey, Hotaru, don't go running around right now."
Matsuo Eiichiro hurried over and picked up the white cat, which seemed to want to pounce on Kitagawa Ryo's face. But Hotaru, usually so well-behaved, now bared her teeth and growled as though she'd seen something she hated.
"I heard that Ichinose had been exchanging letters with Ryo from the time she was ten until she was fourteen. But Ryo never told me about it. He didn't start losing his memory during the first few months after he got out of there, either. Now that I think about it, that's a little suspicious."
Matsuo Eiichiro finally managed to calm Hotaru down, then turned his gaze back to Ichinose Honami.
"Ryo always clammed up whenever anyone asked what happened in the White Room. As his friend, I couldn't exactly question him directly."]
[Just as Matsuo Eiichiro was wondering about it, someone suddenly pushed open the hospital room door and stepped inside. It wasn't his father, who had arranged for the two of them to recover in the hospital. Instead, a girl of about fifteen or sixteen entered, leaning on a cane. Two burly men who seemed to be bodyguards followed behind her.
"Who are you?"
Matsuo Eiichiro's expression changed drastically. Unlike Nanase Tsubasa, he knew more than most because of his father's work. He understood how sensitive Kitagawa Ryo's identity was. If those people found out that an experimental subject had escaped from there, his family—and even Nanase Tsubasa—could be dragged into it.
The silver-haired girl ignored Matsuo Eiichiro and walked straight to Kitagawa Ryo's hospital bed. He was just about to stop her when one of the burly men behind her reached out and blocked his way.
Sakayanagi Arisu reached out and stroked Kitagawa Ryo's bangs. She spoke softly:
"I never thought I'd meet you again in a place like this. To be honest, I thought I'd never see you again. What an incredible twist of fate."
"It's been two years and 128 days since we last saw each other, Ryo."
"Or should I..."
She smoothed the frown on the boy's face in the hospital bed.
"Call you my brother?"]
Chapter 30: Dreams Woven Together
["Hey, I don't care who you are or what your relationship with Ryo is. Don't touch him!"
Matsuo Eiichiro struggled to get past the two bodyguards standing like a wall and shouted at Sakayanagi Arisu.]
Before you continue