During the second half of my sophomore year, I was in the worst state of my entire high school life, listless all day long.
Jiang Linyuan asked me, "What's going on with you? Your grades have dropped so badly."
I said, "It's too hard. I can't study anymore."
Then he said, "Then I'll tutor you."
I said, "Then I'll be even less able to study."
Jiang Linyuan sighed. "You just don't want to study. Your mind isn't on your studies anymore."
I ignored him.
That really was how I was back then. Gradually, I stopped putting my mind into studying.
There was no particular reason. One day, I was sitting at my desk, staring blankly at the teacher writing on the blackboard, when a thought suddenly occurred to me: Could I just not study?
What if I stopped studying? What if my grades suddenly got worse? What if I didn't become an outstanding student the way my parents wanted me to?
Would they be disappointed in me? Would they be shocked? Their obedient daughter, who had always done as she was told, had actually turned out like this?
Then I thought of Jiang Linyuan. What would he think of me?
While we were home during break doing practice papers, I asked, "What would you think of me if I were terrible at studying?"
He looked astonished. "What kind of stupid-ass question is that?"
I slapped his shoulder irritably.
"I mean, if I became a useless piece of trash in the future—someone with no ambition or drive—would you reject someone like me?"
He asked, "The kind who curls up in bed all day like a caterpillar?"
I thought about it.
"Maybe even lazier than that."
He rubbed my head and said with a smile, "Silly girl, haven't you always been like