The Perfect Angel of Youth Would Never Meet a Chūnibyō Comedian

"Oh~ So it's already that time, huh? You actually need something like that, junior? Are your grades that bad?"

Mikage Touji replied expressionlessly, "I got nine points on my Japanese Literature exam."

The next second, an unrestrained burst of laughter shot through the phone and straight into Mikage Touji's head.

"So, senpai, I'm begging you. If you don't help me, I'll have no choice but to drop out." Mikage Touji tried to appeal to her emotions.

"No!"

Kiryūin Fūka's voice was decisive and firm, without the slightest hesitation.

Mikage Touji asked incredulously, "I'm about to drop out and you still won't help me? Didn't you say I was your admiring junior?"

"Do you admire me?"

"..." You just killed the conversation, senpai.

"Haha, just kidding. I really don't have anything like that. It'd be faster for me to write the answers myself than to go to all that trouble memorizing them."

"Senpai, that really hurts..."

"Don't worry, I won't let you drop out. I'll tutor you and get your grades sorted. In exchange, you'll go shopping with me this weekend. That's that!"

Mikage Touji jolted and hurriedly replied, "Senpai, you don't have to trouble yourself. I've already—Hello? Hello!"

"Beep... beep... beep..."

The merciless beeping from the phone left Mikage Touji utterly chilled.

Senpai, I hadn't finished talking.

Please, spare my poor life...

Chapter 32: The Perfect Angel of Youth Would Never Meet a Chūnibyō Comedian

Why didn't my ability come with any physical enhancements?

Why hadn't System-chan given me a superhuman body when she ran away?

Why could senpai, who looked so slender, knock me flat with one punch?

Mikage Touji stared at the call that had already ended and voiced his three questions in a row.

Over the past few weeks, he had been diligently exercising—or so he thought—but his physical fitness had barely improved. It was better than nothing, at least.

Even if he managed to fly one day, he still might not be able to beat senpai with his bare hands.

"Yahallo!"

The energetic greeting interrupted Mikage Touji's thoughts. Ichinose Honami had finished talking with Hoshinomiya-sensei and come out of the staff room.

"It's Ichinose-san. Have you finished asking your questions?" Mikage Touji slowed his pace and struck up a conversation with her.

"Just call me Ichinose. I wanted to ask Hoshinomiya-sensei about joining the Student Council, but she sent me away with something like, 'If it's you, I'm sure you can do it.'" Ichinose Honami puffed out her cheeks slightly, looking a little troubled.

"You want to join the Student Council too?"

"Too? Are you joining as well, Mikage-kun?" An expectant look appeared on her face.

"No, not me." Mikage Touji waved his hand. "It's Katsuragi from my class."

"Oh, Katsuragi..."

"But actually, I don't think either of you would be a good fit."

As they walked, Mikage Touji's expression turned strange.

He remembered the blond guy in the Student Council who was obsessed with Horikita Manabu.

That guy still hadn't given up. Every so often, he sent Mikage Touji messages to bother him, and took the opportunity to proclaim his fated battle with Horikita Manabu.

"Huh? Why?"

"Well..." Mikage Touji thought the girl beside him was a nice person. He'd rather not drag her into the annual tragic romance between those two men.

"Two years ago, there was a new student named Horikita Manabu..."

With Mikage Touji's vivid storytelling, the third-year students' love and hate, and the tangled relationships within the Kouiku Student Council, came to life in all their glory.

"So you're saying that third-year Horikita-senpai and second-year Nagumo-senpai had a falling-out over their ideals, and the Student Council is now under a lot of pressure. Horikita-senpai won't let just anyone pass the Student Council's screening?"

Ichinose Honami skipped over the Student Council's annual tragic romance and accurately summed up its current situation.

"Pretty much. If you went, the Student Council President would probably reject you too. He wants someone who can stop Nagumo-senpai and maintain the Student Council's current state."

"What about Nagumo-senpai? You said he also has a recommendation slot, didn't you, Mikage-kun?" Ichinose clearly wasn't ready to give up.

"You two are completely incompatible. He believes in putting individual ability above everything else, which is the exact opposite of your approach of moving forward with your class."

"I see..."

Ichinose Honami suddenly stopped.

"What's wrong?" Mikage Touji turned around.

"Why..."

"Hmm?"

Ichinose Honami raised her fair face and looked straight at Mikage Touji, who had his hands behind his head. Her big, sky-blue eyes fixed on him.

"Why does Mikage-kun know so much about the Student Council's internal affairs?"

Mikage Touji's heart skipped a beat.

"You mean all that?" Mikage Touji pulled out his phone with a calm expression, opened his contacts, and showed it to her. "Senior Nagumo told me. He added me as a friend a while back, and we get along pretty well."

"I see..."

Ichinose Honami saw that the latest chat with Miyabi Nagumo was dated the day before, then looked away.

"So, Ichinose, you'd better stay out of the Student Council business. You already have to take care of most of the things in your class."

Mikage Touji discreetly watched Ichinose's reaction and secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

Nagumo-san, I find it annoying that you keep bothering me, but I have to admit, you do have your uses.

Fortunately, Ichinose Honami was a very considerate girl and didn't look too closely at his chat with Miyabi Nagumo.

Otherwise, she'd have noticed that most of the messages were Miyabi Nagumo's bizarrely overconfident declarations.

"I've decided!" Ichinose Honami thought for a moment, then clenched her little fist. "I'm still going to give it a try. I'd regret it if I didn't even try. If Horikita-senpai turns me down, then so be it."

"Good luck, then."

Seeing how determined Ichinose was, Mikage Touji stopped trying to dissuade her.

"Still, you're really amazing, Mikage-kun. I added Nagumo-senpai as a friend too, but he's never talked to me."

"Ahaha..." Mikage Touji laughed awkwardly.

It'd be better if you didn't meet that guy.

"Speaking of which... I went to see Hoshinomiya-sensei about the Student Council. What did you want to ask Mashima-sensei about?"

Mikage Touji's laughter abruptly stopped.

We could've stayed friends if you hadn't brought that up.

"Huh?" Ichinose Honami covered her mouth, unable to believe it. "You failed Japanese Literature? You, Mikage-kun?"

"Does everyone have to be so surprised?" Mikage Touji was too exhausted to even complain.

"Because you look like the type who never studies but gets high marks on exams."

"Where did that assumption come from? I wish I had that kind of setting." Mikage Touji half-lidded his eyes.

"Do you want me to help you?" Ichinose Honami tilted her head, then smiled at Mikage Touji. "I'm a little confident in my own grades, and this would be a good way to thank you for telling me so much about the Student Council."

"There's no need. Besides, didn't you take me shopping for cooking utensils last time? And you have to tutor your classmates too, don't you? You probably don't have much free time yourself."

"Hmm... I'm free for a little while on Sunday afternoon or in the evening."

"..."

Should he say she was too kind, or that she was devoted to helping other people? Or was it something else?

Mikage Touji raised a hand and rubbed his temples. "I've never met anyone like you before. I'd thought you might be busy, but I didn't realize you'd be this busy. What about your own time?"

"Me?"

Ichinose Honami paused, then understood what he meant. Her smile remained bright.

"I'm fine."

"Are you really fine?" Mikage Touji asked softly, staring into Ichinose's clear blue eyes.

Ichinose Honami's lips moved a little. After hesitating for a while, she finally nodded.

"Mm!"

Mikage Touji sighed.

Forget it!

He'd just consider it repayment for the cooking utensils she'd bought with him last time. He really hated owing people things.

"Fine." Mikage Touji answered straightforwardly and turned to leave.

"There is something I need someone to help me with, but it's not tutoring. Someone's already agreed to tutor me. There's something that's been troubling me lately. If you want to help, come with me."

"Huh?" Ichinose Honami was still feeling down and hadn't yet understood what was happening. Hearing Mikage Touji's brisk footsteps, she could only hurry after him. "What's troubling you, Mikage-kun?"

"You'll see when we get there. Anyway, it'll be easier than tutoring me in Japanese Literature."

Behind the school building, the branches of a small grove overlapped, filtering the sunlight into flecks of gold that spread across the grass and gave the place a warm, cozy feeling.

The winding path through the trees was covered with fallen leaves and moss. Birdsong occasionally sounded among the leaves, making the surroundings seem exceptionally quiet.

"Um... Mikage—"

"Shh! Don't be too loud. You'll scare it away."

Mikage Touji sat on a bench with a drink beside him, constantly scanning the nearby branches as he muttered to himself.

"I've been wanting to catch that pigeon for ages, but I could never find it. I brought you here today so you could help me capture it once and for all!"

"But pigeons don't usually show up somewhere like this, do they?" Ichinose Honami asked suspiciously in a lowered voice.

"You don't understand. It's not an ordinary pigeon. It's a very special kind of... I can't really describe it. Anyway, just keep an eye on the surroundings for me. I have a feeling it'll show up today."

"Oh."

Ichinose Honami looked away and sat quietly on the bench. She let the sweet smile she usually wore fade, cupped a can of sweet milk in both hands, and took a small sip every now and then as she watched the clouds drift across the sky.

The two of them sat on opposite ends of the bench without speaking, quietly listening to the birdsong in the woods and the rustling of the wind through the treetops...

"Hey, Mikage-kun." Ichinose stared at the swaying leaves in front of her, rubbing her thumb against the rim of the can as she spoke softly.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for bringing me here."

"No need to thank me. Just help me catch that pigeon."

"Does that pigeon really exist?"

"Of course it does. I came here a few days ago and nearly got attacked by it while it was flying. A rare and powerful Pokémon like that has to be under my control."

Mikage Touji clenched his fist in anguish, his desire for revenge plain to see.

Ichinose smiled behind her hand. Unlike the gentle smile she usually gave other people, this one was carefree and came from the heart.

"I'm serious. Believe me, that pigeon really exists," Mikage Touji insisted again.

"No, I was just thinking... Is Mikage-kun the kind of person who's really amazing?" Her voice was even softer than before, with a faint, elusive note to it.

Mikage Touji broke into a cold sweat and nervously took a sip of his drink. "Why would you think that, Ichinose?"

"Because, you see..." Ichinose loosened her grip on the can slightly and leaned her head gently against the back of the bench. "Mikage-kun... didn't you see right away that I had something on my mind? And you get along so well with Nagumo-senpai, too."

"I'm just pretty good at dealing with people. I'm not bragging, but in Class A, I'm known as a social butterfly." Mikage Touji, who was known as a weirdo, had started lying through his teeth.

"Is that so? I never would have guessed..."