Assassination Classroom: Slander! I'm Not a Male Tomie!
Chapter 5

Rules? I'll Buy at the Bottom!

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He returned to the classroom feeling utterly hopeless and tossed the drunk Hoshinomiya straight onto the teacher's podium.

As he crossed the aisle, his hands never stopped moving. He quickly undid the red uniform jacket that had been invaded by the unfamiliar smell of alcohol.

The classroom wasn't noisy at the moment. All the students in Class B were sitting neatly in their seats, their eyes occasionally lingering on him.

After all, anyone who'd heard his despairing shout outside the classroom earlier would have sensed a trace of misery and sorrow in it.

As he undid the last button, Yuki Gyakukai looked at the red jacket, still stained with vomit, in disgust. He casually gathered it up and draped it by the window, hoping to air out the nauseating smell of alcohol.

The wind outside seemed to understand what he wanted and rushed through the window, driving away the smell that still clung to him.

The gusts kept pouring in, and the classroom, which had been quiet moments before, instantly grew restless.

Some of the girls sitting nearby covered their flushed cheeks with one hand and pressed down the hems of their skirts, which the wind had blown up, with the other.

Yuki Gyakukai, sitting closest to the window, simply let the wind ruffle his messy hair, his expression blank.

Gasps sounded from behind him now and then, along with the much more audible sound of people swallowing.

So what kind of pervert class had he ended up in?

At the podium,

After Ichinose learned that the drunk woman in front of her was their homeroom teacher, a helpless smile appeared on her pretty face.

Having returned to her seat, she watched Hoshinomiya, who was still a little tipsy, with some exasperation.

What could she do?

She'd just have to accept it. Her classmates all seemed so easy to get along with. Surely she could enjoy these three tuition-free years... right? No... would that be difficult?

By the end, she sounded uncertain.

After all, their Teacher Hoshinomiya had just thrown up in front of the entire class again.

Chihiro Shiramami and the others sitting in the front row felt that their eyes had been polluted and their noses assaulted.

The pungent stench of alcohol and the sharp smell of various food scraps lingered in the classroom.

You've really outdone yourself, Chie Hoshinomiya. If I'd known things would turn out like this, I should've just dropped you off in the restroom on my way here...

"Um... Teacher Hoshinomiya, are you all right? If you're feeling unwell, should we take you to the infirmary first?"

After throwing up, Hoshinomiya felt much better, but her stomach still burned.

Facing the cute girl in the front row with a little white flower in her hair—that was Chihiro Shiramami—she casually pinched her cheek.

Feeling the warmth against her cheek, Chihiro Shiramami wrinkled her nose in distaste.

She smelled awful. That was it—now she wasn't pure anymore.

Shiranami, Shiranami, why couldn't you be a little braver and just refuse?

[Chihiro Shiramami — image]

Having pulled herself together, Chie Hoshinomiya looked around the classroom and put on a suitably pleasant smile.

"It looks like everyone's here. Then let's start by welcoming you all to this school... Ugh..."

Before she could finish, Chie Hoshinomiya doubled over and dry-heaved again.

"Eh?! We really should take you to the infirmary first, Teacher. You could get into trouble if you keep this up."

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Besides, there's no point taking me to the infirmary, because I'm the school nurse! Hehe!"

What the hell was that "hehe" for?!

Watching the older woman on the podium pretend to be cute as she tapped her head, Yuki Gyakukai's face grew dark with dismay.

The whole class fell silent, every eye fixed on Chie Hoshinomiya at the podium. As expected, this homeroom teacher was way too unreliable.

"First, I should tell you that you'll stay in the same class for all three years at this school, so you'll have to get along with one another."

As Hoshinomiya spoke at the podium, student handbooks were passed around.

Yuki Gyakukai took the handbook from the purple-haired girl in front of him, sat down, and carefully read through the details about the school.

The information was the same as what the school had previously announced to the public: students would be under full-time residential supervision for three years and weren't allowed to contact the outside world while at school. The school would provide them with communication devices for that purpose.

Students weren't allowed to leave campus without permission, but they could choose to withdraw.

And since the students would be staying at school for three years, the school had set up various shopping districts and entertainment facilities to ensure a diverse campus life. These included, but weren't limited to, karaoke rooms, cafés, and movie theaters.

Finally, because tuition was waived for all three years, the school would issue every student an individual student ID card that they could use to buy things on campus.

Purchases made with a student ID card would cost a certain number of points, and students couldn't buy anything if they didn't have enough.

It felt a lot like the digital currency he'd used before. The difference was that one could be paid with a device, while the other required swiping a card.

Tomie, sitting to Yuki Gyakukai's right, read through the handbook's rules, excitement flickering in her eyes. This was what she wanted: three years alone.

"Anything at this school can be bought with points, as long as it isn't illegal."

When Hoshinomiya said this, she spoke very slowly, enunciating every word as if she wanted to drill the whole sentence into the students' heads.

"Everyone can check your accounts on your phones now. The school should have already transferred 100,000 points to you. For the next three years, you'll receive more points on the first of every month."

Ichinose opened the newly issued device with curiosity and found that 100,000 points had indeed been deposited into her account.

But it didn't feel real. She still had no idea what 100,000 points could buy. The next thing Hoshinomiya said made her hands tremble.

"Each point has the same purchasing power as one yen."

She clenched the phone in her hands, her fingers tangling together until red marks appeared, but she kept her eyes fixed on the string of digits.

So 100,000 yen... was something she could get so easily?

She couldn't help questioning it. A feeling of unreality swept over her.

"Did everyone hear that?"

Hoshinomiya smiled as she watched the students in Class B begin to chatter excitedly.

After all, this was the equivalent of 100,000 yen in purchasing power. Even converted into yuan, that came to 5,000. Most of the students in Class B had probably only received 5,000 yen in spending money each month before. Now, barely in their teens and only just starting school, they'd been told they had 100,000 yen to spend.

Their minds were still reeling.

Seeing how adorable the students looked, Hoshinomiya clapped her hands to draw their attention back to her, since there might not be much time.

"If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. I might be able to answer them."

To be honest, Hoshinomiya was quite curious whether there was a joker in her class. If there was, she'd really hit the jackpot, wouldn't she?

She could crush Sae Chabashira's Class 1-D under her heel. Just imagining that cold face turning ugly gave her a rush of pleasure for no reason at all.

"Hey, Teacher Hoshinomiya, could you move aside? Even if you're daydreaming, don't do it up there. We're running short on time."

"Eh?! Yuki Gyakukai, you're so mean! You're kicking your teacher off the podium and even making fun of her for daydreaming. Is this the legendary student uprising?"

Seeing Yuki Gyakukai suddenly appear beside her, Hoshinomiya stubbornly refused to admit she was wrong and showed no humility. At least she did move aside from the podium.

As Hoshinomiya stepped down, Yuki Gyakukai walked to the very center of the podium. The students' gazes tracked his every move.

Everyone looked up at Yuki Gyakukai on the podium, dressed in a white shirt and radiating an irresistible allure.

"What I'm about to tell you concerns the school's rules, so please don't spread it around for the next month."

As soon as he said that, everyone in the classroom held their breath. Even Hoshinomiya's eyes widened.

A bunch of amateurs. Exploring the rules was too tedious. He'd go straight for the bottom!

He'd let them experience the joy of having the inside scoop.

End of Chapter
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