It is now the early hours of May 10, 2026.
Once again, I've sat in front of my computer until this hour.
My writing went fairly smoothly today, but not smoothly enough.
There is still a great distance between it and the state I'd hoped for.
My memory is very poor now. I forget many things—things said yesterday, forgotten today. It's also hard for me to concentrate. I'll type a few lines, then my mind inexplicably drifts apart.
I dream all night long, wake up very early in the morning, and though I'm groggy after waking, I can never get back to sleep.
The apartment I rent has been undergoing renovations upstairs for some time now. The sound of electric drills often drives me down to the benches below.
Sometimes I watch my fingernails. Whenever I'm thinking, I unconsciously gnaw them until they're full of pits and ridges.
A cat's cries can hold my attention for a long time. Often, I'll hold a cat in my arms and wait until it has finished kneading before suddenly remembering that I still need to write. Write, write...
Whenever I'm talking or doing something, I'll suddenly stare out the window in a daze. Sometimes I'm thinking about the plot; sometimes my thoughts simply scatter for no reason.
When I got stuck today, I checked my phone and somehow ended up chatting in the group for a long time. I haven't chatted in the group in ages.
What was I saying...
See? I've drifted off again.
As you all know, the novel has finally entered its final closing stretch.
In order to wrap it up properly, I've decided to go offline and enter seclusion for a while, to write the entire ending—
[For fifteen days.]
That is to say, on May 24, 2026, I