I Don't Want to Be Here Either

Eli jerked his head up, and the Gundam Ground Type lifted its head with him, looking toward the direction the beam had come from.

A mobile suit stood at the top of the ravine.

Only then did Eli notice that dawn was breaking.

The light of the desert sunrise fell upon the mobile suit.

Backlit, it was impossible for Eli to make out the machine's full appearance.

But that face—so much like a human's, yet possessing the distinctive coldness of a machine—made Eli feel as if he had plunged into an icy abyss.

He bit his lower lip and, almost in a trembling voice, uttered two syllables.

"GUNDAM..."

"Mr. Eli, are you all right? The enemy battleship has started retreating, and the other Gouf ran off... Are you all right?"

There was a hint of pride in Amuro's childish voice, leaving Eli able to manage only a strained smile.

"...Aina, let's go. Let's leave this war behind."

Shiro Amada trembled all over at Norris's death.

But when he heard it was Amuro, all the words in his heart caught in his throat.

Eli understood how Shiro Amada felt.

Aina was a prisoner of war. But wasn't Amuro, too, a child warped by war?

From Amuro's perspective, he had fought hard to take down the other Gouf and had averted the crisis facing the White Base.

Then he had rushed straight to the scene, where the first thing he saw was a Gouf charging into battle.

Was it really wrong of him to take out an enemy threatening his comrades?

Could anyone really praise him for piloting a Gundam like this?

His heart ached with grief and anger over Norris's death.

But Shiro Amada kept those feelings under control and didn't take them out on Amuro.

He simply held the girl in his arms and slowly lowered the mobile suit onto one knee.

Unlike the excitement he'd felt when he first climbed into the cockpit half a month ago, now all he wanted was to leave this steel weapon behind.

To take Aina with him.

"Mr. Eli, did I do something wrong...?"

The Gundam slowly descended to the bottom of the ravine and came to a stop beside Eli's Ground Type.

Amuro looked at Shiro Amada, kneeling on the ground with Aina in his arms, and felt a strange stirring in his heart.

Even Amuro, so impulsive and emotional at this age, was moved by the scene before him.

The bond between Shiro Amada and Aina transcended sides, transcended love.

It was as if, during those few short hours in space, they had come to understand everything about each other.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Amuro. No one did... Maybe I was the one who was wrong."

As he listened to Eli's reply, a term suddenly came to Amuro's mind.

"NEW TYPE."

It was a term he often heard at the Southeast Asia Base, whether from Colonel Ethan or the rank-and-file soldiers, once they learned who he was.

But compared to the way he'd spent the whole journey pulling the trigger, the two people holding each other tightly seemed more like Newtypes.

A shadow slowly fell over the three mobile suits.

Amuro looked up from the cockpit and saw the enormous Apsalus slowly descending.

Their mission had been a complete success—more than a success, even.

But Amuro felt no joy at all.

He wasn't a soldier.

Even if he were, how could he remain unmoved after learning the truth?

"So that's how it was. Excellent work. You not only shot down a Zeon aircraft, but also managed to capture the pilot of that Apsalus. You really are our ace."

At the Southeast Asia Base, Colonel Ethan beamed as he patted Eli on the shoulder, clearly pleased with the results.

Not a single person had been hurt. They'd brought back the wreckage of the flying machine and returned with the Apsalus intact.

It would have been a major achievement in any military district.

"Sir, I persuaded the Apsalus's pilot to surrender."

Eli didn't respond to Colonel Ethan's praise. Instead, he saluted and corrected one mistake in what the man had said.

Colonel Ethan's smile slowly faded. He looked Eli up and down, his gaze lingering on the rank insignia on Eli's shoulder.

"I see. It seems I got that wrong."

Colonel Ethan nodded, indicating that he understood.

"Go get some rest. After a battle like that, the whole base is celebrating you."

Colonel Ethan sat back down at his desk and began changing the report on his tablet from "captured" to "persuaded to surrender."

"Yes, sir! It's all thanks to your excellent leadership, Colonel Ethan."

Eli saluted again. Only after seeing the man smile as he finished editing the report did Eli bow slightly and turn to leave.

That line was disgusting.

Eli loathed what he'd just said. He left Ethan's office and went outside.

Shiro Amada was waiting there. He had clearly been there for a long time.

He wasn't wearing his Federation uniform, just his civilian clothes as he stood waiting.

"Have you made up your mind?"

Eli looked at the man before him.

He seemed to have grown up overnight. The restlessness had vanished from his face.

"Yeah, I've decided. The military won't let Aina and me leave just yet, but I'll take her to the rear and live there under Federation surveillance for a while. Once the war ends, I'll take her far away for good."

Eli knew Shiro Amada made it sound easy, but he'd traded all his military merits for this chance.

"It wasn't easy, was it?"

"No, it wasn't."

Shiro Amada opened the pocket watch again, revealing the compartment with the photograph.

Aina's brother, Ginias, was undeniably handsome.

"I once wanted to change things—to drive Zeon out and end this war. But I didn't accomplish anything. In the end, all I could do was run away."

Then the two fell into a long silence.

Eli wondered how, at first, he hadn't understood Shiro Amada and Aina's feelings at all, yet Norris's death had affected him so deeply.

They'd barely spoken to each other. In the end, all they'd done was exchange threats in battle.

Perhaps people were always searching for something beautiful.

What had Norris been thinking when he made that final charge?

"Second Lieutenant Shiro Amada, I think I told you before: a good person should leave Zeon."

"Yeah. You did."

Shiro remembered those words vividly.

"I still think that way. But you and Aina made me realize something. Maybe for some people, all it takes to become a good person is the right opportunity."

Eli patted Shiro Amada on the shoulder and headed toward the base's main gate.

"Lieutenant Eli."

Eli had only taken a few steps when Shiro Amada called out to him.

Eli turned around and saw the resolve he'd glimpsed when they first met returning to Shiro Amada's eyes.

"I couldn't change anything. But I think you have the power to change this war, maybe even this world. At the very least, you have the potential."

Before he knew it, Shiro Amada had begun addressing Eli with greater respect.

"If you can, could you do something? Do it for that child, so Amuro won't be swallowed by the war like Aina was."

Shiro Amada hadn't climbed into a mobile suit, so he shouldn't have received any sort of system boost. And yet Eli understood what he was really trying to say.

Just as Norris had entrusted Aina to Shiro Amada, Shiro Amada wanted to entrust his dream and his aspirations to Eli as well.

Eli looked away, as if their joined gazes couldn't bear the weight of that ideal.

"I'm just a soldier..."

And with that, the first short arc comes to an end! I hope you could feel the protagonist's mindset changing a little. You could, right? If not, I'm going to cry. I'd originally planned to post only two chapters and end on a cliffhanger, but it felt wrong to leave the end of the arc by itself, so I posted them together. The first arc was meant to help everyone get used to my writing style and understand the pace of the story. The real change, the determination to make a difference, will come later, after the protagonist has more involvement with this world. After all, he's only been here for three months. Finally, if you have any thoughts about the story, you can join QQ group 556219300 and discuss them there.