Chapter 58

Normally, we all seem pretty casual. But actually, there are some basic conversational techniques—for example, when you're chatting with someone, there are certain minefields you shouldn't step on. Some people have verbal tics. It's not that verbal tics are inherently wrong, but when you're talking to someone and you keep saying certain things, they may feel like you're denying them. How are the two of you supposed to keep talking then? Say two people are chatting, and whenever the other person responds, they start with those three words: "Isn't that wrong?" Then they continue, even though they may actually be saying the same thing as you. Do they truly think you're wrong? Not necessarily. It's just a speech habit they picked up from who knows where, a kind of circular way of speaking meant to grab the thread of the conversation and draw attention to themselves. Because denying someone else is the sharpest kind of statement, right? Say ten people are chatting, and you suddenly say, "Isn't that wrong?" Everyone will think, "Then why don't you tell us your opinion? What are you thinking?" They may gain stronger attention through this method every time. But in the long run, constantly denying others in social relationships is definitely something you need to change. You should replace it with some more connective conversational techniques. For example, you can appropriately repeat the latter half of what the other person just said. But by "mature," I don't mean repeating it so deliberately. For instance, your boss says, "Ah, there may have been a slight problem with our financial report for the first half of the year. Going forward, we really need to pay more attention to improving sales." Then your next sentence could be, "As for sales, I'd like to add something—actually, there are