Tsunade Drunk

Ye Ning pondered.

According to Tsunade, the Second had actually decided to have the Senju Clan assimilate into Konoha.

Sheesh...

How should he put it?

Ye Ning admired that kind of action.

They had actually been willing to give up a surname that had carried centuries of honor, abandon their former glory, and let their clansmen blend in with the civilians.

At the very least, he couldn't do that.

This showed that the Second was the true Hokage.

Whether it was founding the Ninja Academy, establishing the Anbu, or creating Konoha's many systems, he had done it all for the sake of Konoha as a whole, not for the selfish interests of his own Senju Clan.

He had truly held the village close to his heart.

Even his decision to keep the Uchiha under surveillance had its reasons, to be fair.

After all, the Uchiha were a clan full of unstable lunatics. You never knew when someone like Madara Uchiha or Obito Uchiha might appear and threaten Konoha.

In fact, the Second had treated the Uchiha fairly, too.

Otherwise, he never would have taken Kagami Uchiha as his student.

Unfortunately, his two prized students, the Third Hokage and Danzo, had only learned a little of the surface and completely failed to grasp the Second's true spirit.

Wiping out the entire Uchiha Clan...

What a pair of idiots to even come up with that!

The Uchiha might have been a little emotionally volatile, but they hadn't done anything outrageous, had they?

It would've been one thing to drive them from the center of Konoha to the outskirts of the village, but they just had to wipe them out completely.

Was there any benefit to that besides weakening Konoha itself?

All those Sharingan in your arm?

Even if you were desperate for Sharingan, Danzo, given your standing in Konoha and the Third Hokage's indulgence, you could've gotten your hands on a few pairs, couldn't you?

You could've at least been a little more underhanded, a little more despicable, and kept it discreet.

Disgusting!

As for why the Senju ninja he'd seen earlier in the Senju Clan Grounds had looked so strange, Ye Ning finally understood the reason.

The clan elders and elite had mostly died, and some of the clansmen had chosen to leave. Most of the remaining ninja were either young or not particularly strong. They'd stayed behind simply to watch over the manor that had once symbolized their glory.

After figuring all this out, Ye Ning started getting a headache again.

They were drinking out in the open in the courtyard. If they kept going like this, Tsunade was sure to end up a heap of drunken sludge.

That raised the question:

How was he supposed to get Tsunade back inside?

As everyone knew, a drunk person's cerebellum couldn't control their balance at all. Someone else had to support their entire weight, so they were heavier than usual, too.

But he couldn't just leave Tsunade lying on the ground and go back inside to sleep by himself, could he?

Sheesh... what a headache...

Before long, Tsunade had downed several more bottles. Her face was visibly flushed with drink, and she had started swaying uncontrollably.

She was already like this, and she was still drinking!

Go ahead and drink yourself to death, then!

Though he grumbled inwardly, Ye Ning's body was already moving. He reached out with both hands to take the bottle from Tsunade and tell her to stop.

But Tsunade was already thoroughly drunk. Her eyes lit up, and she grabbed Ye Ning, who'd been minding his own business, pulling him over as she slurred, "Come on, drink with me!"

"I refuse!"

Tsunade's move had brought them closer together, pressed tight against each other, with his head buried right between those two giant melons. But Ye Ning was clearly in no mood to enjoy it.

Every cell in Ye Ning's body resisted, but Tsunade was far stronger than he'd expected. No matter how hard he struggled, he couldn't escape her grasp. In fact, the more he struggled, the tighter the arm around his neck became.

"Not drinking?"

Why wouldn't he drink?

Tsunade tilted her head, looking utterly confused.

But she was far too drunk to think the question through. Ignoring Ye Ning's protests, she picked up the bottle and poured it into his mouth.

!?

What the hell!

A sharp, pungent smell filled Ye Ning's nostrils, and he jolted.

The alcohol in Naruto might have been weak—only a little stronger than the cheap beer from his previous life—but Ye Ning, who never drank, still coughed hard twice.

"Tsunade! Are you trying to kill me, you crazy woman? I'm underage! Minors can't drink, got it?"

His scolding made Tsunade pause for a moment, but only for a moment.

Then the bottle was back at his mouth.

"Glug, glug, glug, glug."

"Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp."

Another huge mouthful of liquor was forced down his throat. Unable to break free from Tsunade's hold, Ye Ning simply stopped struggling.

Fine...

I'm tired...

Compared to exhausting himself with pointless struggles, Ye Ning was far more tired in spirit.

Why did I have to meddle?

Wouldn't it have been better to leave Tsunade to fend for herself?

Perhaps sensing Ye Ning's complete despair, Tsunade pursed her lips in boredom, let go of him, and tossed him aside before returning to her drink.

By the time the moon was high and the stars were sparse, Tsunade finally couldn't drink another drop. After finishing the last sip, she toppled straight to the ground with a thud.

Ye Ning, who'd kept well away ever since Tsunade had forced him to drink, finally worked up the courage to approach again.

He checked Tsunade's breathing and found she was still alive. Then, as if to vent his frustration, he shook a fist at her flushed face.

In the end, he weakly lowered his arm and resigned himself to propping Tsunade up against his own body.

She's so heavy!

Ye Ning staggered upright, his head spinning. He hoisted the dead-drunk Tsunade and headed inside.

Some people simply weren't cut out for drinking.

Even though Tsunade had only forced a couple of drinks on him, and he'd spent a long time off to the side recovering, Ye Ning still felt dizzy. And now he had Tsunade weighing him down, too.

All he could hope was that the walk wouldn't be too long.

Once he got Tsunade into her room, he'd finally be free!

But Tsunade was restless even while drunk. As she lay across Ye Ning's back, she kept squirming. Her clothes shifted, and their tips brushed against his back, coming and going...

!?

What are you doing?

Ye Ning sobered up a little, his face full of confusion.

He could've sworn he felt... something strangely rounded?

Tsunade seemed to be searching for a comfortable position. After rubbing against him a few times, she finally settled down, pressing her whole body against Ye Ning's back and planting her soft cushions firmly against him. A warm breath brushed his ear.

Ye Ning tilted his head, unsure what to say.

But talking to Tsunade in this state would probably be like talking to a cow.

Ye Ning could only suppress the strange feelings welling up inside him and dutifully carry Tsunade back inside...