Toshiro Hijikata was like a samurai discarded by history: disciplined (aside from his smoking and mayonnaise obsession—though Shizuka never went without cigarettes or alcohol either, so neither could criticize the other), calm (as long as he wasn't with Sogo Doma, Hijikata had always been calm), steadfast in his convictions, not promiscuous, capable of enjoying life, and capable of enduring hardship...
Put all those traits together, and he completely crushed the Heisei Otaku. Even in terms of being nice, Toshiro Hijikata was who knew how much nicer than the Heisei Otaku...
Which was why he was also Sogo Doma's great enemy!
He had actually made someone else's Imouto call him Big Brother Hijikata. That guy was definitely up to no good. If certain things hadn't happened that made it inconvenient for Sogo Doma to act, he would have punished Toshiro Hijikata on heaven's behalf long ago.
Just like Taihei Doma—no, Hijikata was even worse than Taihei Doma. Taihei Doma had merely reached marriageable age, while Toshiro Hijikata had passed marriageable age. And even now, he had never even had a first love—there had to be something fishy going on.
After Taihei Doma, Toshiro Hijikata became Sogo Doma's second most guarded-against target. He had tried finding him girlfriends several times, even forcing Hijikata to accept them, but that guy was exceptionally good at bluffing. For example:
"Sorry, but I'm actually an assassin. I... I can't stay in one place, so forget about me!"
"Actually, I'm the prince of Mayonnaise Planet. Earth's... Earth's air isn't suitable for me to breathe. I... I have to return to Mayonnaise Planet. What? You want to come to Mayonnaise Planet? No, no. The temperature on Mayonnaise Planet alone exceeds sixty degrees Celsius. It's completely unsuitable for Earthlings to survive..."
"I ran into terrorists..."
Hijikata the Smooth-Talker