"The salt-grilled cherry tomatoes don't just bring out the tomatoes' natural tanginess; they also have this faint, salty aroma..." Megumi Kato chewed the cherry tomato Umaru had handed her.
"Megumi, try this too." Umaru Doma cheerfully offered her another dish.
"You can't taste any of the broccoli's bitterness at all. There's just a faint, fresh fragrance..." Megumi opened her mouth and accepted the food Umaru fed her.
"The rolled omelet is amazing too. Mmm, that touch of sweetness goes perfectly with the soft, tender egg."
"Okay, Megumi, I'm going to try some of your lunch too. Mmm, hamburger steak really is delicious."
Megumi Kato: "..."
Uh, should I tell Umaru? Just one serving of her stir-fried broccoli could buy more than a dozen hamburger steaks. Don't ask how I know. All I can say is, when my cousin got into medical school, the Michelin-starred meal the whole family went out for wasn't as good as Umaru's lunch.
As expected...
She's a noble.
Umaru, meanwhile, thought, Onii-chan's slacking off again. There's not even hamburger steak in my lunch, let alone steak. Luckily, Megumi's a good person and let me have some of hers. I'll definitely teach Onii-chan a lesson when I get home!
Luckily,
Megumi hadn't noticed what Umaru was thinking. Otherwise, she would have started with, "..."
For crying out loud, can hamburger steak really replace a dish that's better than Michelin-starred food?
Of course, Umaru would definitely say, "I just wanted some meat!"
All of this...
Was nothing new to Sogo Doma. What could he do with an Imouto who thought cola was unbeatable and squid strips and potato chips were the best? He was at his wit's end!
Just like spicy strips...
They had started as nothing more than a concept Sogo Doma had suggested, but Erina and Umaru had actually gone and made the finished product.
Sogo Doma tried a few. They tasted even better than the ones he remembered.
Umaru Doma ate them too. If Sogo Doma hadn't stopped her, she could've eaten spicy strips as a meal...
"Onii-chan, you're so mean! You were the one who brought up spicy strips..." Umaru didn't care about anything now that her snacks had been confiscated.
"Hey, Umaru, how about I make you something to eat?" Sogo Doma asked, looking helpless.
"Hm?" Umaru stopped spinning and opened her eyes wide. "What are you going to make, Onii-chan?"
"I'll make... steamed lamb, steamed bear paw, steamed deer tail, roasted duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, braised pork, braised duck, soy-braised chicken, cured meat, pine-flower tripe, air-dried meat, sausages, assorted cold cuts, smoked chicken and white tripe, steamed eight-treasure pork, glutinous-rice-stuffed duck, jar-cooked pheasant, jar-cooked quail, braised giblets, braised goose, pheasant, rabbit slices, vegetable python, silverfish, steamed frog, braised shredded duck, braised duck kidneys, braised duck strips, cold shredded duck, yellow-heart tube, braised white eel, braised swamp eel, catfish with fermented black beans, pot-roasted..."
That day, Sogo Doma went to a great deal of trouble. That day, Umaru ate until her mouth was slick with grease.
"Onii-chan, you're amazing!"
"Of course. I'm one of the Totsuki Elite Ten!"
Elsewhere.
"Cough, cough..." After swallowing the bread Utaha Kasumigaoka had stuffed into his mouth, Sogo Doma coughed several times.
Utaha Kasumigaoka: "..."
"Were you trying to kill me so you could inherit my TL?"
TL was an online chat app developed by Sogo Doma's organization. It still couldn't compete with LINE, but the Doma Main Family... Well, the rest had nothing to do with him. After all, he was wanted for a bounty of 1.5 billion. Even after Luffy took down Fish-Man Island, his own bounty still wasn't that high!
Utaha Kasumigaoka turned her head slightly, looking a little embarrassed.
It was understandable...
She'd claimed she was helping someone taste-test for poison, yet she'd eaten every last bite of his lunch.
After a while,
she finally said, "Actually, I wanted to tell you that I don't know how to write the next part."
Sogo Doma: "?_?"
"Don't get me wrong. I just don't know how to arrange things between Sayuka and Mai. They both have a charm that draws everyone in. As for Naoto..."
Utaha Kasumigaoka paused at that. That was understandable too. He was the only character no one could agree on: the male lead.
Japanese male leads were actually pretty simple.
Houtarou's energy-saving ways in Hyouka,
Sakuta's frankness,
the Great Teacher's self-deprecation,
Kiyotaka...
They seemed like shut-ins, but weren't quite. They gave you the feeling that you could do just as well in their shoes.
Of course, none of those stories had ever appeared in this world... Or perhaps they had, but only in real life.
The male leads currently in vogue were still the sweet and gentle type...
The male lead in Utaha Kasumigaoka's story belonged to that type too. But because she'd described the heroine as so wonderful, many readers couldn't bring themselves to like the male lead very much.
If Sogo Doma had to answer, he'd say:
"If he's still inexperienced, take him to see the world in all its glory. If he's already seen enough neon lights and nightlife, take him for a ride on the carousel."
Utaha Kasumigaoka: "??"
"Eh?"
"I was talking about romance!" Sogo Doma said with a smile.
Utaha Kasumigaoka looked completely baffled: "?"
"You've written Sayuka to perfection, as if she were a real person. But the male lead and Mai..."
Utaha Kasumigaoka: "What about them?"
"Those two seem like they've stepped out of a dream, which makes them feel unreal. The strangest part is the scene where Mai falls for the male lead. In the end, Teacher Utako Kasumi used a question mark, didn't she?"
"Even you're wondering why Mai would fall for the male lead. What about everyone else? Isn't that just ridiculous?"
Utaha Kasumigaoka: "Well, I, um..."
Sogo Doma seemed to remember something and abruptly changed the subject. "By the way, doesn't Teacher Utako Kasumi think she's putting herself in danger?"
Utaha Kasumigaoka: "Huh?"
"If you're writing a romantic light novel like this, you should know what kind of scene a school rooftop is in anime and manga, right?"
"..."
"Like XX School, or XX Makoto..."
"Heh..." Utaha Kasumigaoka let out an awkward chuckle.
"Mm, both would make good material." Sogo Doma stepped closer and gazed at Utaha Kasumigaoka.
"Gulp..." Utaha Kasumigaoka took a step back. "Oh my, has Sadist-kun lost control and decided to do all sorts of things to me? I forgot to mention, I'm carrying an alarm."
The so-called alarm was for women's use. The police could usually arrive within five to ten minutes, but they generally only dealt with serious cases. If someone pressed it recklessly, she might end up in trouble herself.
In Japan, they called that wasting police resources.
Likewise, if it was just bullying, the police wouldn't get involved. They might even scold the students' parents for making a fuss.
That was exactly why Sogo Doma felt he could act without fear.
"Then why don't you try pressing it?" He stepped forward again.
"N-no..."
Utaha Kasumigaoka was starting to panic.
"What you're doing is a crime..."
"Mm!" Sogo Doma touched his lips with his index finger. "A crime?"
Sogo Doma smiled. "Have you heard the saying, 'Death is worth it; three years is a bargain'?"
Utaha Kasumigaoka looked utterly bewildered: "..."
Sogo Doma continued, "According to the economics of crime, even if I forced myself on Teacher Utako Kasumi, it'd still be worth it. Death is worth it... And since this country hardly gives out the death penalty anymore, three years would be a steal. I'm underage too, so that'd make it an even bigger bargain."
Before you continue