"Ugh—blegh—blegh—!"
The sake he had just drunk, along with everything else Kirei Kotomine had eaten earlier, came spilling onto the floor—mixed with sweat, tears, and snot.
—What was that!?
—What was that!?
Panic filled Kirei Kotomine's eyes.
Joy.
Happiness.
Pleasure.
They came from the depths of his heart.
There was certainly grief and shock, but they were completely drowned out by those three emotions.
Claudia.
What had I been thinking when you died before my eyes?
I had thought—
If you had to die, then perhaps I should have been the one to kill you.
"Blegh—!"
Though there was nothing left to vomit, Kirei Kotomine still could not control the feeling.
Why? Why?
What had I been thinking when I watched my mentor, Tohsaka Tokiomi, die before my eyes?
I had thought—
What a shame. Why had I not been the one to kill him?
"Blegh—!"
"Get up."
Sakumura abruptly grabbed Kirei Kotomine, hauled him up, and threw him onto the sofa.
"How does it feel now?"
His eyes seemed to be smiling, yet Kirei Kotomine felt as though needles were pricking his back.
Pain—but mixed with uncontrollable joy.
"Why, Assassin? Why?"
"I want my hands to be stained with blood—something like that..."
"Looks like you were aware of it yourself, huh?"
Sakumura shook his head.
"But the worldview instilled in you all this time seems to have made you instinctively overlook what you truly wanted, so—a man without desire or want like you was even called a saint in the Church."
"Haha, someone who is actually a demon inside being praised as a saint by the Holy Church? Don't you find that funny?"
"Funny."
Kirei Kotomine's breathing grew somewhat heavy.
"Accept yourself, Kirei, because this is the real you."
Sakumura patted his shoulder from behind.
Kirei Kotomine took deep