Urahara's Thousand-Layered Schemes

A whole month had passed since the Star-Extermination Siege. After dealing with the Senkaimon inside the Sternritter Fortress and completing the troop rotation at the Plain of Slaughter, the Star-Extermination Force had finally returned to Seireitei.

In that month, the Web of the Severed Feet had also been more than half completed. The Quincies in Rukongai had been killed or captured, and even those lucky enough to escape ended up walking straight into the net on their way to the Sternritter Fortress. By now, there were almost no traces of Quincies left in the Soul Society.

"Diezuka Hiroe is back? Where is he? The 4th Division?! What happened to him?!"

Yoruichi had barely gotten home and hadn't even had time to sit down before hearing that Hiroe was back and at the 4th Division. She immediately sprang up and raced there in a panic!

Hiroe, the commander-in-chief, hadn't actually returned with the Star-Extermination Force. In the eyes of its members, the commander-in-chief had merely come out of seclusion temporarily; once the job was done, he'd returned to his carefree life.

So he had returned to Seireitei eight days before Yoruichi and the others. And as for why he was at the 4th Division now, it wasn't because he'd suffered some injury. Rather...

"Unohana! Do you think my leg is ruined?!" Hiroe sat in a reclining chair, clutching Unohana's small hand in both of his and squeezing it tightly. "I'm still young! I don't want to use a cane! You have to save me!"

"You're not a child anymore. You should be more careful. Besides, you're something of a celebrity in Seireitei now. If anyone saw you acting like this, wouldn't they laugh?"

Unohana smiled and gently freed her hand from Hiroe's grasp. Her gaze settled once more on his strong right leg. She touched it with a finger and asked softly, "Your spiritual power is blocked, and you still can't feel anything. How did this happen?"

"I don't know. Maybe I've been training too impatiently these past few days." Hiroe covered his mouth with his right hand to hide his smile, his words slightly muffled. "But after you massaged me with Kaido just now, I can feel a little something!"

"You didn't react at all just a moment ago."

"But I can feel it now. Maybe the massage was too short, so it took a while to work?" Hiroe said with absolute conviction. "Why don't you massage it for a little longer this time?"

"Let's not bother with all that!"

A voice suddenly spoke from behind Hiroe. "Just cut it off and study it at your leisure. You can always reattach it afterward!"

Hiroe's heart lurched. The voice was a little husky, but clearly female. Her tone was calm, yet carried the stillness before a storm. Most importantly, it was Yoruichi's voice!

"Hey, Yoruichi! Long time no see. You look healthier than ever!" Hiroe turned around with narrowed, smiling eyes, forcing himself to look happy as he greeted her. But Yoruichi seemed not to see him at all. She walked straight to Unohana. "Or we could just remove all four limbs, so the injury can't spread. What do you think, Unohana?"

"That does sound reasonable~" Unohana said, nodding lightly. Her slender chin bobbed against her fingertip as she looked thoughtful. "I've heard there's a treatment in the World of the Living called surgery. This would be a perfect chance to try it!"

Watching Unohana rise to get a saw, Hiroe swallowed with a loud gulp. She had to be joking, right? No—if it was Unohana, she might actually mean it!

"I won't let you have any scars, so don't worry~" Unohana said with a smile, waving the saw back and forth over Hiroe's leg.

Her voice was so gentle, her smile so sweet. But Hiroe felt as if he were trapped in an ice cellar. A bone-chilling cold ran up his spine, leaving him no mind to appreciate the sight.

Was this really about whether he'd have scars? Hiroe hurriedly waved his hands. "No need, Unohana!"

"No need? But blocked spiritual power is a serious problem. We mustn't take it lightly~" Unohana said, pretending to bring the saw down.

"I really don't need it. I'll massage it myself when I get home—and I've got my teacher, too! Right, my teacher!" Hiroe scooted backward until there was nowhere left to go and his whole body was pressed against the chair. Then he immediately turned to Yoruichi. "Quick, help me up! I want to go home!"

Yoruichi had her arms folded over her chest and acted as if she hadn't heard him. Hiroe could only frantically raise his eyebrows and signal with his eyes, while pressing his palms together and bobbing them like a pecking chicken. Come on! Have a little mercy!

He really couldn't stand this shameless man. She'd rushed over the moment she heard he was back, and there he was, enjoying a beautiful woman's massage!

But she'd scared him enough. It wasn't as if she could actually let Unohana saw off all four of his limbs. Yoruichi rolled her eyes, grabbed Hiroe's hand, and draped it over her shoulder. After saying goodbye to Unohana, she helped him out.

Watching them disappear from view, Unohana smiled and shook her head, then casually tossed the saw onto the table. Sometimes, she really couldn't figure out what kind of person that little rascal was.

As Hiroe and Yoruichi left the 4th Division, they ran into Urahara Kisuke coming their way. He had probably heard that Hiroe was at the 4th Division and hurried over, too.

"So, what's the trick this time?" Urahara looked Hiroe up and down. He couldn't believe Hiroe would let himself get hurt badly enough to need the 4th Division, no matter what the circumstances!

"A new Kido technique that cuts off the flow of spiritual power." Hiroe spoke with a straight face, running his right hand over his leg. "I came here to see whether Unohana could see through it and break it."

"Bullshit! You just wanted to touch Unohana's hand!" Yoruichi suddenly cut in, exposing him without mercy.

"Am I really that awful in your eyes? Even if—even if I did want to touch Unohana's hand, what's so wrong with that?" Hiroe spread his hands, feigning disbelief. "For over a hundred years, you've all been enjoying yourselves in the Royal Palace while I've been slaving away in the Soul Society! Is it really so wrong for me to enjoy a little perk now?!"

"Who else is there to blame? This is your own fault!"

"..."

Whenever those two got together, they always ended up arguing. Sometimes, they even came to blows. Seeing that things were starting to head that way, Urahara hurried between them and separated them in time.

Oddly enough, Hiroe and Yoruichi's relationship only grew closer through all the bickering. As Hiroe put it, being around Yoruichi made life feel vibrant.

By the time the three of them reached their secret base beneath Sokyoku Hill, Hiroe and Yoruichi were chatting and laughing again. Poor Urahara had once more been squeezed out of the middle and left on the sidelines.

They'd come here because Urahara thought they had plenty to talk about now that they'd reunited and needed somewhere they wouldn't be disturbed. He'd also learned a few things in the Royal Palace that he wanted to show them.

"Enough, we're here now, so quit keeping us in suspense!" Hiroe sat cross-legged and gestured for Urahara to begin. "Let's see what you've got!"

"Don't rush. Before that, we have to relive the old days. It really does bring back memories!"

Looking at Urahara's blissful expression, Hiroe was baffled. Luckily, Urahara didn't keep him guessing. He pulled a set of blueprints from inside his clothes and spread them out in front of Hiroe.

The moment Hiroe saw what was on the blueprints, his face fell. What the hell, this was a whole construction project! Thinking back to Urahara's words, Hiroe realized that the "old days" he'd said were worth reliving meant the night they'd dug the pit!

"Time really flies~" Yoruichi said, rolling her neck and pushing up her sleeves. Her knuckles cracked. "Same as last time, dead eyes—you're doing two-thirds!"

"Dig it by hand?"

"Obviously!"

Hiroe clutched his head and reluctantly got to his feet. What a headache! He genuinely couldn't understand why Urahara would miss doing something like this!

Wait! What had Urahara been doing back then? Hiroe tried to remember. Hadn't he been... hauling dirt? So the reason Urahara was reminiscing about the old days was really just to make him suffer! Hiroe looked up. Sure enough, Urahara was standing there with his hands behind his back and a smug grin.

"Ugh!" Hiroe let out a long sigh and reluctantly rolled up his sleeves. The longest road I've ever traveled is the one laid out by the old man and you. This is so unfair!