The Old Witch is Ridiculous

That day, the God of Love brought no flowers and no mead, simply standing before her with a playful smile. "If I'm not around one day, don't miss me too much."

She had scoffed at the time, replying, "Who would miss you?"

That was the last thing she ever said to the God of Love.

Pulling her thoughts back from the distant reaches of memory, the Rakshasa God leaned against the Ink Crystal Throne, her purple-red eyes reflecting the image of the white-clad figure still swinging a blade in a pool of blood on the mirror.

Elsewhere, in a certain city.

Deng Tianxin woke up abruptly in Tang Yuehua's arms, feeling a strange, chilly sensation on his backside.

He had been dreaming—dreaming that Bibi Dong had speed-run Slaughter City, discovered his comfortable life, and proceeded to spank him for three days and three nights.

"What's wrong?" Tang Yuehua noticed the little one in her arms give a violent shudder and looked down at him.

Deng Tianxin's eyes were wide open, his small face still etched with lingering, shell-shocked confusion. His two little hands were instinctively clutched over his bottom, as if checking to see if something was still there.

"...It's nothing, just a nightmare." Deng Tianxin slowly loosened his grip on his backside.

He put on his usual well-behaved expression, but the cold sweat on his back betrayed his current guilt.

He subconsciously scanned the room, confirming the doors and windows were shut tight and that the familiar figure was not standing at the entrance, before letting out a long, shaky breath.

Deng Tianxin quickly tried to reassure himself internally.

The old witch is in Slaughter City, and Slaughter City is a hundred thousand miles away from Heaven Dou City. She couldn't possibly appear here. A dream is just a dream; don't scare yourself.

Right, don't scare yourself.

Tang Yuehua watched the shell-shocked little face in her arms, her eyes crinkling with a smile she couldn't suppress.

Deng Tianxin claimed he was fine, but as his hands moved away from his bottom, his fingertips were still trembling with lingering anxiety.

"What kind of nightmare was it? Tell your big sister." Tang Yuehua asked softly, one hand naturally wrapping around his back while the other gently rested on his small bottom, rubbing it slowly through the fabric.

Deng Tianxin froze as if he had been hit by a paralysis spell.

"Y-y-you... what are you rubbing!" His voice jumped two octaves, his small face turning from pale to bright red in the blink of an eye. His short arms reached behind him, trying to swat Tang Yuehua's hand away, but he couldn't generate any force from that angle, and his frantic flailing was entirely in vain.

"I'm just helping you rub it out," Tang Yuehua blinked, her tone matter-of-fact, her hand moving even more gently. "Didn't you just say you dreamed of getting spanked? Rubbing it makes the pain go away."

"That was a dream! The pain in a dream isn't real!" Deng Tianxin hissed, trying to keep his voice down. "And you don't need to rub—hiss, go easy!"

"Alright, alright, easy now." Tang Yuehua obediently lightened her touch, but she had no intention of moving her hand. Her palm was warm and soft, slowly circling his small bottom through the thin fabric, her movements like someone petting a ruffled kitten. She noticed that while the little guy was protesting fiercely, his body was being very honest—after a few rubs, his tense back relaxed involuntarily, and he even let out a faint, almost imperceptible purr, exactly like a kitten being petted into comfort.

"Pfft." Tang Yuehua quickly pressed her lips together, nearly laughing out loud. She didn't dare laugh; if she did, this little brat would surely bolt from her arms.

"You just laughed, didn't you?" Deng Tianxin looked up, alert.

"No, I didn't." Tang Yuehua kept a straight face.

"The corners of your mouth are still twitching."

"It's just how I'm built."

Deng Tianxin stared at her suspiciously for several seconds before finally giving up on the interrogation and burying his head back in her arms.

Forget it, let her rub. His bottom was already numb from Bibi Dong's ministrations anyway; one more from Tang Yuehua wouldn't make a difference.

Besides, if he were being honest, Tang Yuehua's touch was much more comfortable than Bibi Dong's.

When the old witch did it, it wasn't a massage; it was like kneading dough, leaving him grimacing in pain every single time.

Thinking about it, the scene in his dream where the old witch returned and immediately pinned him down to spank him was exactly like Bibi Dong's technique in reality, down to the very angle of her palm.

Deng Tianxin shivered and quickly shook the terrifying thought from his mind.

It couldn't be. The old witch was in Slaughter City; a speed-run or whatever was absolutely impossible.

He counted on his fingers. In the original story, Tang San took several years to clear Slaughter City. Even though Bibi Dong was stronger than Tang San, a hellish place like that wasn't something you could just breeze through with raw power. Even if she grew wings, she couldn't fly back that quickly.

Right, he still had time—plenty of time.

By the time the old witch cleared it, he would have already collected all the fragments, and then he could fly off wherever he pleased.

"Tianxin," Tang Yuehua's voice came from above him, laced with curiosity. "In your dream, you were shouting, 'Old Witch, I was wrong.' This 'Old Witch'... could it be your teacher?"

Deng Tianxin's body stiffened once more.

"You heard wrong." Deng Tianxin buried his face in Tang Yuehua's chest, his voice muffled, refusing to look up.

"Is that so?" Tang Yuehua looked down at his earlobes, which were red enough to drip blood, unable to suppress the smile tugging at her lips. "I thought you were shouting, 'Old Witch, I was wrong, please stop hitting me.' Did I mishear?"

Deng Tianxin snapped his head up, his small face filled with the shame and anger of being exposed. "That was sleep-talking! You can't take sleep-talking seriously! Who knows why I'd shout something like that in a dream? Maybe I was dreaming that she was kowtowing to me and begging for forgiveness!"

Even he didn't believe that.

Tang Yuehua didn't call his bluff, simply smiling at him with eyes that clearly said, Keep making it up, I'm listening.

Feeling uncomfortable under her gaze, Deng Tianxin decided to just throw caution to the wind.

He sat up from her arms, hands on his hips, and adopted his usual swindling air, declaring righteously, "Sister Yuehua, let me tell you, I'm not afraid of that old witch at all. Don't let her fierce look fool you; she's just a paper tiger, all bark and no bite. Once she gets back from Slaughter City, I'll definitely show her what I'm made of. It's not certain who'll be doing the spanking then."

"Oh?" Tang Yuehua tilted her head slightly, wearing a perfectly timed expression of surprise. "You're going to spank your teacher?"

"Of course!" Deng Tianxin patted his small chest, full of bravado, as if Bibi Dong were already kneeling before him. "My training this past year wasn't for nothing. Once I level up a few more times, she won't even be able to beat me with one hand. I'll pin her across my lap and whack, whack, whack—spank her right back, so she knows what it feels like to be on the receiving end."

"By the way, Sister Yuehua, you can't tell anyone about this, especially not her."