Outrageous System

"System, damn it..."

Lin Xun sat on the steps of the plaza outside the East Sea Spirit Pagoda. He had thought that all his experiences over the years had made him capable of maintaining a certain calmness, but his defenses had still been breached.

He held the Phantom Feather Sparrow's soul spirit orb in his hands. The pale purple little bird fluttered inside the orb, silver-white motes falling from its wingtips onto his palm, cool to the touch. Its quality really was quite good.

The problem was that he could not absorb it.

He had tried for a full twenty minutes just now. Sitting cross-legged, meditating, entering a trance, guiding his spiritual power—he had gone through every standard step.

The Phantom Feather Sparrow had been very cooperative, obediently waiting inside the soul spirit orb for him to absorb it. At one point, it had even tilted its head and pecked at its own wing, probably wondering why this human was only striking poses instead of doing anything.

In the end, nothing happened.

The contract formation inside the soul spirit orb did not even flicker. His body's rejection of soul spirits was absurdly strong, as if it had a firewall installed that refused entry to any outside spirit entity.

Lin Xun took a deep breath. Three hundred thousand had gone down the drain, the gold card had been wasted, and he had sat there for twenty minutes for nothing. None of that mattered.

What truly broke him was that there was something wrong with this body, and he had not discovered it until now.

"Explain."

"Host, please wait. Detecting the current body parameters."

A few seconds later.

"Detection complete. Current body designation: Fourth Generation—Legend of the Dragon King Adapted Version. Its factory configuration contains a compatibility flaw in the soul spirit absorption module. Simply put, this body cannot absorb any soul spirits."

"Factory configuration? Compatibility flaw?" Lin Xun raised an eyebrow slightly. "Are you saying that the body produced by this bloodline re-evolution was defective?"

"That is one way to put it."

"Then why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"This system only detected it just now. The soul spirit absorption module is a hidden parameter. Unless the host actively attempts to absorb a soul spirit, the system cannot trigger the detection program."

Lin Xun closed his eyes. He silently counted to ten, but found that ten was nowhere near enough to suppress the anger in his heart, so he counted another ten.

It was still not enough.

He decided to count to one hundred.

He gave up at forty-seven.

"System, you were the one who provided this body's bloodline evolution. The product you provided has a quality issue. What are you going to do about it?"

"This system understands the host's dissatisfaction. However, it should be noted that this system is not the manufacturer of the body, merely the distributor. All body bloodline evolutions were purchased from a third-party platform."

"What platform?"

"Pin Shaoshao."

Lin Xun: "..."

"Say that again?"

"Pin Shaoshao. A cross-dimensional e-commerce platform known for low prices and group-buying. This system's operating budget is limited, so it could not purchase genuine body bloodline evolutions through official channels and could only choose more cost-effective alternatives. The first three bodies were also purchased through Pin Shaoshao, but that batch had stricter quality control and did not have similar issues. The supplier for the fourth-generation body changed, and quality inspection was discounted accordingly."

Lin Xun put away the Phantom Feather Sparrow's soul spirit orb, his gaze suddenly sharpening. "I lived through three eras on Douluo Continent and changed bodies four times. Every single one of those bodies was bought from Pin Shaoshao?"

"Yes."

"Do you know Pin Shaoshao's slogan?"

"Buy more together, save more together."

"Have you ever considered something? Can a body really be group-bought?"

"Theoretically, as long as it meets cross-dimensional logistics standards, any product can be purchased through a group order. Bodies are bulk commodities, and shipping costs are relatively high. Group-buying can spread out the cost."

Lin Xun endured and endured, but in the end, he could not hold it in anymore. "So you bought them cheap from Pin Shaoshao and pocketed the difference from me all these years?"

"Host, do not slander this system's innocence out of thin air!"

The system's voice was forceful and righteous.

"This system only uses system energy to eat fried soybean paste noodle flavor, at most with a bite of garlic flavor. It has worked diligently all these years, solely to serve the host."

"Oh? So you're a Zhao Dehan." Lin Xun stood with his arms folded and let out a cold laugh. "Not spending it means you didn't embezzle it?"

"Looks like you want to play In the Name of the System with me."

"Then what does the host require?" The system's voice came weakly, clearly far more guilty now.

"Refund and return it!"

"A return is indeed unrealistic. Bodies are one-time binding custom products and cannot be returned once activated. Pin Shaoshao's after-sales policy does not allow returns or exchanges after activation. All this system can do is file a complaint with the supplier and try to secure a refund without a return. But this process is very lengthy and may take many years..."

"So that means I can only use this body?" Lin Xun frowned slightly.

"That is correct."

"Regarding this matter, this system has already formulated a compensation plan. The host's inability to absorb soul spirits can be remedied through another method: directly compensating the host with three compatible soul rings."

Lin Xun said flatly, "Be specific."

"The host is currently at two rings. This system will provide three additional compatible soul rings free of charge. They will automatically unlock when the host reaches level thirty, level forty, and level fifty, respectively. The attributes of all three soul rings will perfectly match the host's martial soul. The auxiliary combat abilities provided by soul spirits will be partially compensated for by optimizing the effectiveness of the soul ring capsules."

"Partially compensated?"

"Full compensation requires a paid unlock."

"You motherfucker!"

"Just kidding. Full compensation is free."

Lin Xun decided not to argue with the system. Mainly because there was no point in arguing. This lousy system hadn't been unreliable for just a day or two.

"Fine. Three free soul rings, got it. Hurry up and handle the refund-only matter with Pin Shaoshao. Also..."

He paused.

"From now on, don't source the things I buy from Pin Shaoshao."

"Then what platform does the host recommend?"

"At the very least, Goudong Direct."

"Goudong's cross-plane logistics fees are three times higher than Pin Shaoshao's. This system's operating budget—"

"Do you want me to play Hou Liangping for once?"

"Deal."

After settling the matter, Lin Xun did not return to the dormitory. Instead, he went to an upscale restaurant and entered a private room he had reserved in advance.

After an unknown amount of time, a slender figure landed soundlessly in the center of the private room.

She looked like a young girl, with short hair tied into twin buns, a short top and skirt, and two little bells hanging from her waist. Her face was round, her eyes large and bright, like the little girl next door who had just gotten out of school. Anyone who saw her would want to pinch her cheeks.

"Nana Li greets my lord."

The girl dropped to one knee and lowered her head, her voice as crisp as wind chimes. Her posture was impeccably respectful, but when she knelt, the floor beneath her knee darkened slightly, as if something had scorched it.

Lin Xun raised a hand. "Get up."

His history with Nana Li had belonged to his previous body. Back then, he had spent quite some effort subduing her. Naturally, the purpose had been to pave the way for this body to complete its mission.

Nana Li sprang to her feet, clasped her hands behind her back, and skipped over to Lin Xun. Her movements and expression were those of an innocent girl, but as she drew close, Lin Xun's face was reflected in those large, bright eyes.

"My lord, you changed faces." She tilted her head, her tone carrying a coquettish curiosity. "Your last face was quite handsome. Why did you change it?"

"As long as it works." Lin Xun shot her a sidelong glance. "Stop staring."

"Just one look." Nana Li rose onto her tiptoes and leaned even closer, until the tips of their noses nearly touched.

Her breath was cool, carrying an indescribable sweet, bloody scent.

"Mm, this face is young and tender. My lord, are you planning to experience youth again?"

"Step back."

"Yes."

She obediently retreated two steps, that cloyingly sweet smile still hanging on her face.

Lin Xun folded his arms and asked, "What's the situation with the Holy Spirit Church right now?"

Nana Li's smile did not change, but her gaze became more serious. After a light cough, she explained, "Their biggest plan at the moment is aimed at Shrek City."

"Two Level 12 Godslayer Fixed-Installation Soul Guidance Artillery Shells."

She held up two fingers in a V sign. Combined with that innocent doll-like face, the contrast was especially striking.

"One will blow up Shrek Academy, and the other will blow up Tang Sect Headquarters. Once two mushroom clouds rise, all of Shrek City will disappear from the map. Clean and efficient."

"Mm, I understand." Although many details of the original storyline had become blurry in Lin Xun's memory, he still remembered major events like this clearly.

It was only reasonable that the Holy Spirit Church had spent so many years plotting against Shrek City.

For him, some matters could be ignored, but everything had to remain under his control. No matter what unexpected situation arose, he had to be able to handle it smoothly.

It could not interfere with his grand plan of breaking up.

"What about Leng Yulai?" Lin Xun suddenly remembered her and asked.

Nana Li had been playing with the little bells at her waist. At those words, her fingers paused. The bells gave half a crisp chime before she pressed them down with her palm.

"Her? She's still the same. Crazy as ever. No one dares provoke her."

"Personally, I think Leng Yulai is more terrifying than other evil soul masters. Normal evil soul masters kill for a purpose—cultivation or something else. She kills simply because she wants to. No purpose means no pattern, and no pattern means she can't be predicted. Everyone fears someone they can't predict."

Lin Xun paused slightly, as if he was not surprised. The name Leng Yulai had been an unavoidable hurdle throughout his long career as a heartthrob.

It was not that she was particularly special. Mainly, she was the only one he could have won over but had not.

There was only one reason—she was too crazy.

Back when he had been with Leng Yaozhu, Leng Yulai had wanted to kill both of them.

"I thought my lord would win over both sisters. I didn't expect you to be so farsighted, knowing what Leng Yulai was like and only taking her elder sister." Nana Li spoke meaningfully.

"Shut up."

Nana Li made a zipping motion over her lips, though the corners of her mouth remained raised.

"But seriously."

She still could not hold it in. She unzipped her mouth again. "My lord, were you truly sincere toward Leng Yaozhu back then? I watched the entire thing from the sidelines, and by the end, even I couldn't figure it out. At first, it seemed real. In the middle, it seemed like an act. Then at the end, it seemed real again. Your emotions were especially volatile during that time. Even I almost thought you would give up your grand heartthrob career for her."

The question caught him off guard. Lin Xun did not answer immediately. After a long pause, he smiled.

"Whether it was sincere or not, a breakup was still a breakup. A player didn't talk about sincerity. If he did, he couldn't be a player."

"Such a stubborn mouth." Nana Li curled her lips but did not press further.

Her lord looked like nothing more than a shameless womanizer on the surface—Leng Yaozhu on one side, Yali on the other—refusing to let either one go. Even when facing the top prodigies of that era, he had shown no fear whatsoever.

Yet strangely enough, after winning them over, he had not liked them quite as much anymore. He had been able to pull away quickly, even hiding for decades until now.

Leng Yaozhu had chased him down for all these years. Even now, she had apparently remained furious.

"Did you protect the person I told you to save before I left?" Lin Xun suddenly raised his eyes and asked.

"Of course. How could I dare disobey my lord's command?" Nana Li stepped back two paces and clapped toward the side.

A figure stepped out from the shadows, dressed in a plain white gown. Her features were cold and refined, with long black hair draped over her shoulders.

Lin Xun looked at her and narrowed his eyes slightly, seemingly lost in thought.

Nana Li introduced her from the side, "Following my lord's instructions, after saving her back then, we settled her in the Far North to recover from her injuries. When we received the news this time, we brought her back from there."

"You didn't leak my whereabouts, did you?"

Lin Xun suddenly seemed worried, so openly that he made no effort to conceal it.

"No." Nana Li shook her head, then asked in confusion, "But I don't understand how my lord got involved with the Far North. And you seem quite unwilling to face it..."

"It's a long story." Lin Xun was unwilling to elaborate and could only brush her off.

Nana Li chuckled. "Then make a long story short!"

"Get lost!"

"..."

The dormitory was deathly quiet.

Inside, Zhou Changxi's blanket had been crumpled into a heap in the corner of his bed, while Yun Xiao's was folded neatly like a block of tofu. Neither of them had returned yet.

Xie Xie lay on his bed, pricking up his ears and listening for a long while. There were no footsteps in the hallway, no sound of running water in the bathroom.

Safe!

He reached beneath his pillow, felt around for a while, and pulled out a book.

The cover was dark blue, with large gilt lettering. The binding looked quite convincing too. Several huge words were printed prominently on the cover.

A Scumbag's Self-Cultivation

"Brother Xun said this was a secret manual." Xie Xie rubbed his hands together, his eyes shining. "That playing hard to get move he taught me last time worked incredibly well. Let's see if there's anything even better this time."

He reverently opened to the first page.

But after only reading a few lines, his entire body froze.

"Holy shit." Xie Xie lowered his voice, but it still cracked. "Brother Xun gave me the wrong book, didn't he?!"

He hurriedly checked the cover again and finally realized that A Scumbag's Self-Cultivation was only a book jacket. The real title was underneath.

When he opened it, it was written clearly inside.

Qiongming Record

Xie Xie had not wanted to keep reading, but recalling what he had just seen made his heart itch with curiosity.

"Could Brother Xun be telling me to learn from the contents?"

"I'll just read a little more..."

In truth, Xie Xie was simply overthinking it. After messing up Lin Xun's digital comic last time, that damn system had sent the wrong book again!

But one thing was not wrong.

It was all stuff the system loved to read.