Ranking Jiahao Behaviors Among Boys (Part 1)

All eyes on me!!

Yamauchi was having the time of his life, really laying into "the Doctor" without holding back!!

Hehe, this move was absolutely perfect!!

Surely lots of girls had been attracted to me, right?!

His expression grew more and more sleazy, and his blows became heavier and heavier.

I was born a battle wolf. Little fox vixens, enter my harem!!

Hahahaha!!!

"..."

"I understand those guys less and less. This class really is beyond saving."

As usual, Horikita Suzune flipped through her novel, unable to stop herself from commenting every day.

"You know your stuff. How would you rate Yamauchi's behavior?"

Uchiha froze.

Me, rate him?

Then I'd better make my words count.

"Lame."

"Too lame. Seriously, way too lame!!!"

Horikita: "?"

"The moment a girl walks by, he starts beating up the guy next to him. Throws, takedowns, RKOs—he pulls out everything."

"As everyone knows, most girls aren't martial arts fans, Invincible East, or Tyson fans..."

"You're saying Yamauchi goes crazy showing off his fighting skills and brutally beats up his buddy. That makes him a real Jiahao, doesn't it?"

"He thinks he's like a peacock spreading its tail, radiating endless masculine charm. He thinks he's strong, he's got horsepower, and little girls should hurry up and fall for him!"

"But girls look at him like he's some super-macho psycho. They all want to stay far away, scared they'll get blood splattered all over their faces."

Horikita Suzune nodded in agreement.

"That's how animals court mates. They like fighting in front of females."

Her beautiful eyes shifted left, and she looked at the boy in the mask with some surprise.

She hadn't expected Jiahao to understand this so thoroughly. It seemed only Jiahao truly understood Jiahao!!!

After taking a sip of water, Uchiha continued with a deadpan expression.

"Also, what did your buddy ever do to you? To put it bluntly, if knocking him down every time really could win girls over, then sure, he could cooperate with you whenever. But the problem is, it can't, right?!"

"At his core, he's still a Jiahao whose pride reaches the heavens while he doesn't realize how embarrassing he is. So, Ayanokoji, let's just be well-behaved pretty boys and cut down on all those physical gestures."

[Pridelessness +347]

[Pridelessness +268]

[Pridelessness +190]

[Pridelessness +370]

[...]

Seeing his Pridelessness points skyrocketing in the backend, Uchiha was shocked as well.

Talking about Jiahao as a Jiahao had unexpected gains too?!!

"..."

Ayanokoji turned around. "????"

Me??

When did I ever do... any physical gestures?!!

The most Jiahao person of all was telling the other students not to be Jiahao?!!!

That was completely insane!!!

It reminded him of that classic meme—

Jack Ma: I'm not interested in money.

Just then, Kushida strutted over with catlike steps.

"Uchiha, are you free at noon? I'd like to treat you to a coffee and get to know you better..."

The next second.

Bang!!!

She was nearly sent flying by a classmate laughing like a lunatic!!

Kushida: "...?"

The classmates all gathered around.

Quite a few were laughing so hard they slapped their stomachs.

"I can't take it anymore!! I really couldn't hold it in!! Hahahaha!!!"

"Holy shit?!! I give that analysis full marks!!"

"And the UFC and WWE thing—you're absolutely right. I learned aikido in high school, and whenever a girl walked past, I'd beat the crap out of my buddies too. I really did that!!"

"I don't dare laugh. I used to be the one getting beaten!!!!"

"I'm dying, Jiahao quotes just exposed a whole bunch of Jiahaos!!"

"Pfft!! I laughed so hard I almost couldn't breathe!!"

So one of the boys asked,

"Uchiha, you understand Jiahao the best. How about giving us a ranking of Jiahao behaviors among boys?"

The hooded boy froze. That was a good question!!!

A ranking of Jiahao behaviors among boys?!

There was definitely something to say about that!!!

"...Ahem."

"I'll give you an example first, then you can tell me your rankings."

Uchiha cleared his throat.

The moment everyone heard that, their anticipation shot through the roof!!

More and more people came seeking sacred scripture, and Kushida had already been squeezed out of the inner circle...

The dark aura in her eyes grew thicker and thicker. She desperately wanted to find a railing to kick hard.

Didn't these idle bastards get hungry? Why weren't they eating instead of hanging around here?!!!

So annoying!!!

Uchiha pressed both hands down, signaling for silence.

"I'll only say this once."

As if held under a spell, the entire place fell silent.

Seeing the moment was right, Uchiha spoke calmly.

"When boys our age are playing Honor of Kings, PUBG, and Valorant, I'm playing Stew (Steam). My Stew (Steam) is max level, so it's just... you know, right?! Hehe."

"..."

"..."

Everyone was stunned.

"Awesome!!!"

"That arrogant?!!"

"I give it 99 points!! I'm deducting one so you don't get cocky!!"

"The details! Steam, 'Steem'—he deliberately mispronounced it as 'Stew.' It's overflowing with Jiahao flavor!!"

"Genius, genius! That line can definitely rank in the top three Jiahao quotes among boys!!!"

"Oh no, I've become Jiahao!!!"

[Pridelessness +350]

[Pridelessness +297]

[Pridelessness +444]

[Pridelessness +668]

[...]

Uchiha hurriedly forced the corners of his mouth back down!!

Amazing!!!

It felt fucking amazing!!!

He remained expressionless.

"Brothers, don't ever do the things I talked about today. They're way too Jiahao."

"First of all, what's the most Jiahao thing of all? Shooting an imaginary basketball, air balls, leaning back for imaginary jump shots!!"

Then—

Scattered laughter rang out.

Uchiha pointed at Sudou.

"You redhead laughing the hardest—have you done it before? Suddenly getting the urge while walking down the street, making that chicken-pecking gesture with your hands and shooting one right away."

The redhead looked slightly embarrassed, his face twisting grotesquely as he laughed!!!

"It's like base code. Any time, any place—you shoot in the shower, you shoot at your big brother's wedding..."

Whoa!!!

The whole crowd erupted!!

Kushida: "It's over, even my forty-year-old dad does this!!!"

Eh? Wait, what was I doing?!!

Hirata: "I play soccer, and I love taking imaginary kicks too."

Sudou: "For real!! I get what you mean!!! When you practice shooting, that movement just comes out unconsciously..."

Ayanokoji's expression turned strange as he quietly said, "On the bus, weren't you the founding father of imaginary basketball shots?"

Uchiha looked stern. "That was waving flower hands."

Ayanokoji: "...???"

Uchiha struck while the iron was hot.

"I know you love basketball down to your bones. It's muscle memory. But can't you pay attention to the occasion!!"

"It's really weird. Put yourself in someone else's shoes—what if a girl suddenly pretended to put on lipstick in front of you, or started doing a hand dance? Who could keep it together??"

Ayanokoji: "Jiaxin's here."

Yamauchi: "Where? Isn't there a girl watching me perform my sexual charisma?!"

Ike: "Get lost, it's way more fun over at Jiahao's side!!!"

Another wave of Pridelessness came in, and Uchiha felt he had joined the right class. Why were these classmates so worked up?!!

Keep harvesting!!

"You know what's even worse than shooting an imaginary basketball?"

Everyone waited eagerly.

"He actually takes a ball with him, walks down the main road or hangs around the classroom, and sometimes he really throws it out and loves hitting people."

"I remember in high school, I was waiting for food in the cafeteria when a ball came flying in a beautiful arc and smashed my phone to pieces. That guy barely compensated me too. It pissed me off so much!!"

Everyone: "..."

"My heart stopped!!"

"Fuck, dead memories are attacking me. A basketball flew over on the school path before and smashed right into my head. I was dizzy for the whole day!!"

"Any more? Any more??"

"Is there anything even more Jiahao? I want to hear it, I want to hear it!!!"

Uchiha's eyelids kept twitching.

Could you, a grown-ass man, stop acting cute!!

"Of course there is, but..."

"To be continued."