Not an extra chapter.
Last night, I broke up with the girlfriend I had been with for three years and three months...
I suddenly got stuck as I wrote this.
After one night, even writing the words "break up" made my heart twinge.
Last night, I moved out of her place. Instead of going home, I spent the night at a Hi Inn. I couldn't find a single person to talk to.
In my life, nearly all my friendships had faded away. She was my only confidante.
Parting with her was something I had imagined, but never truly faced.
A little after seven last night, I returned to the apartment we rented together. I was still chatting with readers, complaining that Jiang Bei the Old Thief's writing record for 2021 consisted of seventy-six TikTok videos.
Our WeChat chat was frozen on this:
Me: Your decision
Little Devil: We should still break up.
Me: Okay.
I had her saved as "Little Devil" because she really, truly was special.
I had never met anyone like her.
She had crashed into my life like a meteorite and overturned my entire world.
I was a rational realist. I was merely above average among ordinary people. I could get ninety points in many things, but never achieve perfection.
My only emotional weakness was love. Only when it came to feelings was I irrational.
And she was an extreme idealist.
Anyone who had never met philosophers or thinkers might not understand someone like her.
Emotion outweighed everything. Compared to spiritual needs, the care of everyday life seemed hardly worth mentioning.
She was sensitive and fragile. She needed immense spiritual care—that was, love.
She was fragile enough to want to kill herself. She suffered because the world was not good enough. She would ask me why