[Please Don't Fall for Me So Easily]

"Bored out of my mind!" Bright-Eyed Thief brushed aside Yue Yang's large hand, stood up, turned, and left.

"How could it be boring? Men and women in love, mutual affection, romance and passion—this is the most meaningful thing in the world!" Yue Yang hurried after him, calling out to Bright-Eyed Thief as he laughed loudly. "Brother, don't be shy. If you don't know anything about bedroom arts, I can teach you! My experience may not be extensive either, but we can study it together slowly... Let's talk this out—don't pull a dagger!"

Bright-Eyed Thief's anger flared as he listened, and he stopped.

With a flick of his hand, a gleaming dagger appeared.

Seeing the dagger at his throat, Yue Yang hurriedly raised both hands in surrender.

"Get lost. You and I are not the same kind of people!" Bright-Eyed Thief forced down the urge to kill this brat and coldly squeezed out the words through his small white teeth.

"No way? You don't like women?" Yue Yang put on an exaggerated expression. "Don't tell me you're one of those legendary submissive men?"

"What's a submissive man?" Bright-Eyed Thief did not understand.

"In this world, there are two kinds: attackers and defenders. Attackers are responsible for plowing and sowing, doing all the exhausting hard labor. Defenders are different—they're responsible for enjoying themselves and moaning, doing the nice, comfortable work... Ow! Don't hit me!" Before Yue Yang could finish, Bright-Eyed Thief had already punched him in the face.

"I'm warning you. From now on, whenever you see me, get the hell out of my way. Otherwise, I'll kill you!" Bright-Eyed Thief was furious, but Yue Yang had to admit that even when this guy was angry, he looked rather good.

Some people were just like that. Whether they smiled or glared, they always looked adorable.

The moment one saw them, one could not help but like them.

Others were the opposite. Whether they smiled or got angry, they looked utterly revolting. Seeing them made one want to vomit, and seeing them for too long might even make one want to smash one's head against a wall. Yue Yang felt that Bright-Eyed Thief belonged to the first kind—the kind who became more likable the longer one looked. Seeing Bright-Eyed Thief angry, he was not afraid at all. Instead, his smile grew even brighter. "Don't worry, I'll stay far away from you. Because I'm afraid a submissive man like you might fall for me!"

Bright-Eyed Thief had originally intended to kick Yue Yang away and leave, but upon hearing that, he immediately wondered whether this brat had gone insane.

"What did you say? I would like you?" Bright-Eyed Thief could hardly believe his ears.

"Of course. A man as outstanding and handsome as me is popular among both beautiful women and beautiful men. But take note: although I'm beloved by everyone, make flowers bloom at my sight, make cars stop for me, known throughout the Three Mountains and Five Peaks, invincible under heaven, and a jade-faced young wolf lord whose pear blossom overwhelms the begonia, I only like beautiful women. I have absolutely no feelings for beautiful men, so please don't fall for me so easily!" Yue Yang held his chin high, his nose pointed at the sky, utterly full of himself.

"..." Bright-Eyed Thief nearly toppled over.

He had met narcissists before, but this was the first time he had ever seen one this narcissistic.

Compared to this brat's thick skin, the walls of White Stone City were as thin as paper. Bright-Eyed Thief estimated that even if every narcissist in the world were gathered together and kneaded into one person, they would not be one-tenth as narcissistic as the brat before him!

Bright-Eyed Thief was glad that he was not a narcissist. Otherwise, before this brat, he might very well grow so ashamed that he would slit his own throat with his dagger...

Heaven knew how such a freak had been born into this world.

That was right. Other than "freak," no adjective could accurately describe the grinning, lecherous, outrageously narcissistic bastard before him!

"Though many beautiful men have confessed their love to me in the past, my heart belongs only to beautiful women—and always will!" Yue Yang clenched his fist with absolute certainty.

"Don't worry. I would never like an outstanding toad like you, and that will also be forever!" Bright-Eyed Thief secretly mocked Yue Yang for being a toad dreaming of swan meat.

"Then I'm relieved, brother. I've always worried about that. Now it's fine. Turns out you don't like men. Just like me, you like beautiful women too. Whew, the huge stone in my heart has finally been lifted! Since you don't like men and do like beautiful women, that makes things easy. This is great—we have a common language and common interests. Come, come, come, let's go pick up girls together! A learned and talented man like me has always wanted to write a sacred manual for picking up girls, to guide the countless lost young men of the world. Right now, I'm just lacking a partner." Yue Yang patted his chest, dramatically showing that his heart, which had been suspended for so long, had finally returned to its place. Then he warmly reached for Bright-Eyed Thief's shoulder, as if he had found a comrade who shared his ideals.

"I say, since you're so learned and talented, you can finish that sacred manual for picking up girls yourself. I have matters to attend to, so I won't accompany you." Bright-Eyed Thief sneered, his laughter filled with utter contempt for this self-proclaimed learned and talented fellow. Other than a head full of filth, what does this brat have?

"It seems you deeply doubt my true talent and learning. Brother, you've completely misunderstood. Once you understand even one ten-thousandth of my vast knowledge, I'm sure you'll become deeply fascinated by my brilliance. Before, I merely worried that you might fall in love with me despite being a man and want to have a relationship beyond friendship with me, so I kept my abilities hidden. Understand? Brother, do you think I'm an ordinary person? No, I'm a genius!" Yue Yang nearly wanted to write the words "genius" across his forehead.

"You're a genius? A born idiot, more like."

Bright-Eyed Thief had never seen such an arrogant narcissist in his life, yet this guy still dared to call himself a genius!

If all geniuses were like him, humanity would probably be doomed soon enough!

"If you swear that you absolutely won't be charmed by me, I'll show you a few tricks... There's no helping it—I have to let you know how impressive I am. Let me tell you, not only ordinary people, even the Poet Immortal Li Bai often plagiarized my poems! Do you know why that brat Li Bai was called the Poet Immortal? Because he copied my poetry. And the Poet Sage Du Fu often plagiarized my writings too. Otherwise, how could they have been praised with, 'When Li and Du's writings endure, their radiance shines for ten thousand fathoms'? You don't know this, but they only became what they are today because of me. Understand?" Yue Yang declared this solemnly and with an exceptionally grave expression, leaving Bright-Eyed Thief completely stunned. This brat could write poetry too?

"Poet Immortal Li Bai? Who's that?" Bright-Eyed Thief realized that he had never heard of any Poet Immortal Li Bai.

"Little friend, you need to study hard and improve every day. Not knowing who the Poet Immortal Li Bai is simply won't do!" Yue Yang patted Bright-Eyed Thief on the shoulder with the air of an old man, wearing an expression that said, "If you don't strive in your youth, you'll only grieve in old age."

"What's so great about this Poet Immortal Li Bai? Why should I know him?" Bright-Eyed Thief snorted disdainfully, though he was actually a little uncertain.

"Don't tell me you haven't even heard the Quiet Night Thoughts he plagiarized from me? That's a classic. You really don't know it?" Yue Yang looked as though he had just discovered an illiterate monster.

"Quiet Night Thoughts? I've never heard of it. What kind of poem is it?" Bright-Eyed Thief searched his memories desperately, but he truly could not find any recollection related to that poem.