The Self in the Dream

The dark blue forest stretched on without end.

Tang San stood among the trees. Beneath his feet was not soil, but layer upon layer of Blue Silver Grass leaves with a metallic sheen. Each leaf was as large as a palm, its edges sharp as blades. When the wind passed through them, they made a teeth-grinding sound like metal scraping against metal.

A person stood in the center of the forest.

With his back to Tang San, he wore Shrek's dark green school uniform. His tall frame and the lines of his shoulders and back were identical to Tang San's. The person slowly turned around, and the face he revealed made Tang San's breath catch—it was him, yet not him.

There were no dark blue scales beneath his skin, but his pupils were vertical, like a reptile's, glinting with a cold gold in the dim light. His face lacked Tang San's habitual restraint. All it held was an almost divine calm, as though everything in the world was merely numbers and variables in his eyes.

"You're here." The "Tang San" in the dream spoke. His voice was the same as Tang San's, yet it carried the emotionless indifference unique to the will of the world.

"Who are you?" Tang San asked, his voice echoing through the empty forest.

"I am what you should become." The man raised a hand. A strand of deep purple Blue Silver Grass with a metallic luster curled around his fingertips, as obedient as an extension of his body. "You won't need to risk your life absorbing soul rings beyond your level, won't need to be bound by theoretical frameworks, and won't need to wager your life at every brush with death."

He took a step forward. Tang San could clearly see his back—a complete suit of armor formed from dark blue scales, covering him from his spine down to his lower back and gleaming with a cold, flowing light in the darkness.

"Here, Xiao Wu won't be hurt by the Man-Faced Demon Spider. You won't nearly explode to death while absorbing a soul ring. Your master's theories will be nothing but waste paper to you. If you want power, the world will give you power. If you want to protect someone, no one will be able to harm them."

The man raised his hand. A deep purple soul ring appeared in his palm, and embedded at its center was an external soul bone—the Man-Faced Demon Spider's Eight Spider Lances, only more complete and more powerful than the one Tang San should have obtained.

"Stay here and accept this gift. You won't need to struggle anymore, doubt anymore, or kneel on the ground begging a teacher who cannot even protect himself for answers."

Tang San stared at the soul ring, his throat dry.

He had to admit it—the temptation was too great.

He remembered the sight of blood spraying from all over his body in the Star Dou Great Forest. He remembered Yu Xiaogang kneeling in the mud, crying out in despair. He remembered the searing agony of his body being torn apart by two forces just moments ago. If there truly was another path, one that required no desperate struggle, no gambling with his life, no questioning the truth he had believed in for over a decade in the dead of night...

"You're lying to him."

A voice abruptly cut into the dream.

It was not Chen Xuan's voice. It was Tang San's own voice, only far colder than usual.

The dream's "Tang San" frowned slightly, his vertical pupils contracting.

"You're afraid." Tang San continued, looking at the being with his own face. Then he suddenly realized something—this thing was not his "perfect self." It was something parasitic inside him, wearing his skin and trying to devour his consciousness.

"You're afraid I'll admit my teacher was wrong. You're afraid I'll choose another path. That's why you were so eager to drag me into this dream and tempt me with a false paradise."

"Shut up." The dream's "Tang San" darkened. The dark blue scales around his body bristled slightly, producing a faint metallic scrape.

"You're not me." Tang San's voice grew steadier and steadier. He remembered what Chen Xuan had said while crouching before him—"What you regard as truth doesn't hold true for you."

He remembered Yu Xiaogang's hunched back as he walked away from the edge of the training ground.

He remembered the three words he had said himself: "I admit it."

"You are shackles the will of the world forced onto me. Do you think I wouldn't recognize you just because you changed your skin?"

Tang San raised his hand. There was no Blue Silver Grass in his palm, no Clear Sky Hammer, only a faint dark blue mark—the trace left behind after the scales had withdrawn.

"I am weak. I did almost believe your nonsense. Even now, I'm still wondering whether I wouldn't have to face all this if I hadn't admitted it."

He looked at the "himself" in the dream and spoke each word clearly.

"But in this life, what I hate most is being used as someone else's chess piece. You are no exception."

The dark blue forest began to tremble.

The metallic Blue Silver Grass leaves swayed wildly, releasing sharp, shrieking cries. The divine calm on the dream's "Tang San" shattered completely, and a nearly venomous cold light seeped from his vertical pupils.

"You'll regret this!" he roared. His body began to twist, dark blue scales peeling away one by one to reveal a pitch-black body beneath that belonged to no living creature. "You'll come back and beg me! Because you have no other road left!"

"Then we'll talk when I truly have nowhere left to go."

Tang San closed his eyes.

At the instant the dream collapsed, the last thing he heard was Chen Xuan's voice, soft and distant, as though drifting in from far away.

"Not a complete disappointment after all."

Tang San's eyes snapped open.

It was already daylight. Morning sunlight streamed through the gaps in the dormitory window, casting a long, narrow patch of light across the floor. He lay in his own bed beneath a blanket. His clothes had been changed into a clean school uniform.

Xiao Wu was sprawled beside the bed, asleep with her head resting on her arms. Half of her ponytail had come undone, with a few strands of hair stuck to her cheek. There were obvious dark circles beneath her eyes; she had clearly kept watch all night.

Tang San moved his fingers, and a dull ache shot through his wrist. He pulled back his sleeve. That strand of Blue Silver Grass was still there, but it had returned to its original softness and emerald green. Its color was only a little darker than before, and its leaves had lost that metallic texture. He tried circulating his soul power. The grass obediently extended, winding around his fingertips like a tame little beast.

Deep within his dantian, the Clear Sky Hammer slept quietly. Yet Tang San could sense that it had not fully returned to its former sealed state. It was awake, vigilant, observing, like a lurking tiger ready to roar again the moment danger arrived.

The pain in his back remained, but it was much lighter than last night. He reached back and touched his spine. The scales had withdrawn, leaving only several faint bluish-black marks, like birthmarks.

"You're awake?" Xiao Wu groggily lifted her head. Her eyes were swollen and red. She clearly had not been sleeping just now—she had been crying.

"Yeah." Tang San pushed himself upright, his entire body aching as if he had been beaten. "Where's Master?"

Xiao Wu's gaze dimmed. "He locked himself in his room as soon as we got back last night. He won't see anyone. Headmaster Flender knocked on the door, but he only said, 'Let me be alone,' and then didn't make another sound."

Tang San fell silent.

He threw off the blanket, got out of bed, and put on his shoes.

"Where are you going?" Xiao Wu hurriedly stood, reaching out to stop him.

"To see him."

Tang San's voice was calm—so calm that it made Xiao Wu uneasy. She knew him too well. The calmer he was, the more violently things churned inside him.

Yu Xiaogang's room was at the easternmost end of the dormitory building. The door was tightly shut. Inside came the rustling of turning pages, along with the occasional suppressed cough.

Tang San stood before the door. He raised his hand, paused halfway, and in the end did not knock.

He heard the person inside flipping through that worn-out notebook, pages rustling loudly as though searching for something. The searching continued for a long time, followed by an extremely soft, trembling sigh.

"Nothing... There's nothing..."

Tang San's fingers curled.

He remembered when he had first arrived at Nuoding Academy. Yu Xiaogang had been like this then too, flipping through thick books beneath a lamp as he mapped out a development path for Tang San's Blue Silver Grass. Back then, Tang San had believed this man was the most learned person in the world. As long as he was there, no problem would remain unsolved.

Now, that most learned man was in a tiny room, flipping through notes he had written over thirty years, yet unable to find a single answer.

Tang San slowly lowered his hand.

He did not knock. He turned and left.

The morning mist had yet to disperse from the training ground.

Chen Xuan lay in a reclining chair beneath an old elm tree, slowly chewing on a hard flatbread in his hand. The fifth Light-Shadow Stone flickered in and out of sight in his palm, giving off an exceedingly faint glow like that of a firefly.

When Tang San walked up to him, Chen Xuan did not even look up. He simply stuffed the last bite of flatbread into his mouth and patted the crumbs from his hands.

"Sleep enough?"

"Yeah."

Tang San stood before the reclining chair. Sunlight shone from behind him, casting a long shadow across the ground. He did not speak immediately. He merely stood there, looking at Chen Xuan's face, which always carried that indifferent expression.

After a long while, he spoke.

"I want to learn your method."

Chen Xuan finally raised his eyelids and glanced at him. The familiar, infuriating curve tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Not 'want to learn,'" he corrected. "'Must learn.' Because you have no way back now. Your teacher can't help you, your Blue Silver Grass can't be relied on, and the Clear Sky Hammer can only handle emergencies, not solve the root of the problem. The next time that thing erupts, you won't last even half a shichen."

Tang San did not argue. He knew Chen Xuan was telling the truth.

"To solve it completely, suppression won't work." Chen Xuan sat up as five Light-Shadow Stones slowly revolved in his palm, their five-colored lights flowing. "Purifying Erosion Dew can suppress it for a while, but not forever. That thing is a product of worldline correction. As long as the will of the world believes you still 'owe' something, it will keep forcing things into you. Today it alters your martial soul, tomorrow it alters your bloodline, and the day after that, it might directly give you an entirely new body."

"Then what do I do?"

"Find the source." Chen Xuan put away the Light-Shadow Stones and looked into the distance, toward Sunset Forest. "The soul master system isn't the only path on Douluo Continent. In the ancient era tens of thousands of years ago, there was another system called the Light-Shadow Path. It cultivated the power of rules, not soul power. My five stones are the inheritance mediums of that system."

He turned toward Tang San. "To resolve the problem in your body completely, we need to go to the Light-Shadow Altar in the deepest part of Sunset Forest. It is where the ancient Light-Shadow God fell, and it is also the 'anchor point' of the worldline correction mechanism. Only there can we sever the connection between you and the will of the world and make the things in your body disappear completely."

Tang San's heart suddenly pounded.

Sunset Forest. The Light-Shadow Altar. An ancient inheritance.

None of these things existed within Yu Xiaogang's theoretical framework. Tang San was not even sure whether Douluo Continent's history books recorded any of them.

"How long will it take?" he asked.

"I don't know," Chen Xuan answered honestly. "Maybe three months, maybe half a year. During that time, you won't be able to take part in the academy's special training, learn from Master, or perhaps even come back."

Tang San fell silent.

He thought of Yu Xiaogang, of the Shrek Seven Monsters, of his promise to protect Xiao Wu. What would happen to them if he left? And what would happen if he never returned?

"You don't need to decide now." Chen Xuan seemed to see through his hesitation. "You still have twelve hours. Once twelve hours pass, the effects of the Purifying Erosion Dew will disappear completely, and that thing will erupt again. When that happens, you can either come with me or stay here and wait to be completely devoured by it."

He stood and brushed the dust from his pants.

"Oh, and one more thing."

Chen Xuan tilted his head toward Tang San, his gaze carrying a trace of deeper meaning.

"You'd better bring your rabbit roommate too."

Tang San froze. "Why?"

"Because she knows better than anyone what we're about to face." Chen Xuan lowered his voice so only the two of them could hear. "The instincts of a hundred-thousand-year soul beast are beyond any human's. And besides..."

He paused and looked into Tang San's eyes.

"The secrets she carries are likely more numerous than you imagine."

With that, Chen Xuan turned and left without another word.

Tang San remained where he was, watching his back vanish into the morning mist. Then he lowered his gaze to his wrist. That strand of deep purple Blue Silver Grass rested quietly around it, glowing with a gentle sheen in the sunlight.

But Tang San knew this peace was only temporary.

He turned and looked toward the dormitory building. Xiao Wu should still be in the room, perhaps leaning by the window and secretly watching him.

And farther away, inside Yu Xiaogang's room, the sound of pages turning continued, like a desperate elegy that no one would hear.

Tang San clenched his fists.

He knew what he had to choose.

Behind the dormitory curtains, Xiao Wu bit down hard on her lip until she tasted blood.

She had seen Tang San's conversation with Chen Xuan. Though she could not hear the exact words, she could feel that Chen Xuan's final remark had been meant for her.

He knew.

He knew who she was.

Xiao Wu's fingers dug into her palm, blood flowing down and dripping onto the floor. She did not wipe it away. She only looked at the figure standing in the morning mist outside the window, tears silently streaming down her face.

She knew some things could no longer be hidden.

At dusk that day, Yu Xiaogang's door finally opened. When he emerged, he held that worn-out notebook in his hand, his face expressionless. He went straight to the training ground, found Chen Xuan meditating beneath the shade of a tree, and placed the notebook on the stone table before him.

"I lost."

The old man's voice was hoarse, yet exceptionally calm.

"But I have one condition. If you're taking Little San away, take me too. I want to see with my own eyes which brick is missing from the theoretical edifice I spent thirty years building."

Chen Xuan opened his eyes and looked at the hunched old man. He remained silent for a long time before finally nodding.

"Fine. But you'd better prepare yourself. Because what you see may make you regret spending thirty years studying that waste paper."