Sorry, Your Grandmother Has Gone Godlike

Not just Ax—even Benjamin was completely dumbfounded.

By this point, he didn't need to think very hard to understand what the Old Madam was up to.

She had tripped Dick on purpose to help him.

Just look at the way she'd swung her cane—the Old Madam and Dick had Ax between them, and getting the cane past him to hit Dick wouldn't have been easy. If she hadn't done it on purpose, then that swing had been a work of art.

The Old Madam had definitely done it on purpose. She'd tripped Dick so the chamber pot would hit him again. That put her on the same side as Benjamin. If the Fool Family wanted to punish Benjamin, they would have to punish the Old Madam too, or they'd be going against the so-called "glory of nobility."

Besides, there was no way these people would throw a chamber pot at the Old Madam. If they hit her and something went wrong, it wouldn't be a laughing matter. What would they do if the Church got involved? And even if Ax dared to do it, Claude would never allow it.

That meant the Fool Family couldn't punish the Old Madam, and naturally, they couldn't find a reason to punish Benjamin either.

In short, the Old Madam had put her age to full use and saved Benjamin's life.

At the thought, Benjamin let out a huge sigh of relief.

Thank goodness. His grandmother might have had a strange temper, but in a crucial moment like this, she was more loyal than his deadbeat father. Otherwise, he truly had no idea how he would have escaped this mess. It seemed there were people in this world who knew how to protect their own, instead of always taking someone else's side.

Thank you, thank you...

But if Benjamin could see that, the others certainly could too.

The looks on the faces of the Fool Family members, led by Ax, said it all. They clearly weren't willing to just swallow this.

"Duke Claude, the Old Madam is getting on in years and a little confused. She doesn't know what she's saying, so of course we don't take offense. But, Your Grace, you should know how this matter ought to be handled."

The moment Ax spoke, he set his sights on the stiff, old-fashioned Duke Claude. It seemed he knew the Old Madam would be difficult to deal with, so he might as well leave her aside and start with Benjamin's father.

"Mm..."

Claude looked troubled, but didn't answer right away.

Seeing that, Benjamin's heart, which had just settled, leapt back into his throat.

These people really wouldn't let it go. Even now, they were still refusing to back down. What Ax was doing could practically be called driving a wedge into the Riser Family.

Hopefully, his father wouldn't actually agree...

"What? Don't think that just because I'm old and not so nimble anymore, my mind's gone too. I know exactly how this should be handled. I won't let things end in confusion."

Just as Claude hesitated, the Old Madam's eyelids twitched. She spoke up first, putting on the air of a respected elder and sounding utterly righteous.

The Old Madam had interrupted Claude again, but he still didn't lose his temper. Instead, he remained silent, as if he didn't intend to comment on the matter and was willing to let her do as she pleased.

Ax couldn't help frowning.

"Old Madam, please stop making a scene."

"Making a scene?" The Old Madam looked astonished, as if she'd heard something strange, and put on an innocent expression. "Count Ax, what do you mean? Aren't you the ones who came to our house and caused trouble? How did I become the one making a scene? Count Ax, you should be reasonable."

Ax seemed to be losing patience too. He immediately retorted, "We're not the ones causing trouble!"

As soon as he said it, he seemed to realize he'd gone too far. He took a deep breath, reined in his temper, and put on the polished manner of a nobleman again before continuing:

"Old Madam, my son was a guest in your home, and one of your children bullied him. As his father, of course I have to see that he gets justice. What's more, your child did something wrong, so we punished him on your behalf and helped you teach him a lesson, so he wouldn't do it again. You could at least thank us, but instead you're twisting the facts. Old Madam, which of us is being unreasonable?"

"Is that what happened?" The Old Madam looked even more surprised, with a hint of confusion in her expression, as though she were hearing this for the first time. "But wasn't it us who kindly invited young Dick over as a guest? Who could have known he'd have an episode of Night-walking Syndrome in the middle of the night, mistake that thing for a ball and kick it? He hurt himself and made such a mess of our hallway. Since it was an honest mistake, we didn't hold it against you. How can you be so unreasonable?"

Smack!

At that, Ax seemed genuinely enraged. He slapped the table and stood up.

"You..."

His eyes widened as he pointed at the Old Madam, but the words caught in his throat. The fat on his face trembled. He looked just like his son the night before, after the chamber pot had hit him and left him unable to speak.

Everyone exchanged glances, the atmosphere strange. Even Claude looked as if he wanted to say something. But just then, the Old Madam glanced back at him. It seemed like an offhand look, but Claude fell silent again and showed no sign of speaking.

She turned back around. With everyone's eyes on her, she still wore an innocent, bewildered expression, as if all she'd said were a few ordinary words of small talk.

Benjamin was even more dumbfounded.

It seemed his grandmother held a much, much, much... higher position in the Riser Family than he'd imagined.

And... his stern, old-fashioned father, Claude, was actually a mama's boy?

"Your grandfather passed away very early, so your father was practically raised by her alone. In the early days, she was also the one who held the Riser Family together. From a few rumors you'd heard before, it seemed she had a rather special standing in the Royal Capital, though you didn't know the details."

The System popped up, just like in a Japanese anime, to explain.

"You never mentioned any of this before," Benjamin silently grumbled.

"Oh, it's all minor details. This is only a simplified version of your memories. How could I tell you everything? You're such a pain," the System casually bluffed.

"..."

Benjamin felt nothing at all. He didn't even want to complain anymore.

Back in the real world, Ax still couldn't get past the Old Madam's words. So the Old Madam showed off her "never letting up when she had the upper hand" side again, pressing her advantage and piling straw onto the camel's corpse.

"Come on, Benjamin, tell Count Ax what you saw last night. We can't leave His Lordship in the dark."

Benjamin froze for a moment, then immediately caught on. His acting kicked in.

He put on a wounded expression, with a hint of timid innocence and just a touch of stubbornness, and said, "I... I'd just woken up last night and was a little hungry, so I went out to find something to eat. Then I ran into Mr. Fool. He didn't seem quite right at the time. I guess his Night-walking Syndrome had flared up, and he was holding that thing in his hands. I was just about to call out to wake him when he tripped on his own, and then... then you all saw what happened."

As he spoke, he thought, My acting is getting better and better.

What a shameless person. Even I'm scared of myself!

On the other side, after hearing Benjamin's words, Ax immediately found his voice again and shouted, "You're lying!"

Benjamin quickly put on a timid expression, looking as if he were about to cry from fright.

"I... I'm not. It really happened just like that."

The Old Madam immediately stepped forward to add insult to injury. "Why wouldn't the Count believe him? Could there be more to this story? Oh, where's Dick? We should ask him what happened last night. Only Dick knows the whole truth."

Where was Dick? Ah, where was Dick?

Dick was in that fragrant pile of shit.

Ax looked at Dick, still unconscious, and the fat on his face quivered. His eyes were practically spitting fire.

"Oh, how did I only just remember?" The Old Madam glanced at Dick too, then suddenly put on an "I've just realized" expression. "I think I heard someone say that people don't remember what happens when they're sleepwalking. What should we do? There's no use asking Dick now. Count Ax, I'm afraid this mystery will never be solved. I'm truly sorry."

A checkmate.

Benjamin almost wanted to applaud. If the Old Madam had been merely arguing in circles before, these last few lines had struck right at the heart of the matter. People who sleepwalk aren't conscious, and Dick didn't actually know who had hit him with the chamber pot. He'd only woken up and seen Benjamin, which was why he'd assumed it was him.

But in truth, no one had seen the moment Benjamin threw the chamber pot. That meant Benjamin alone could say what had happened last night. The others might suspect him, but no one could prove him wrong.

If he said Dick had hit himself with it, then Dick had hit himself with it.

Poor Dick...

After the Old Madam said that, Ax seemed to have a bucket of cold water poured over him. He slowly realized the truth too. He looked at Dick, sprawled in a pool of shit, then at the Old Madam's sympathetic expression. The fighting spirit in his narrowed eyes deflated like a punctured ball and gradually faded away.

The other members of the Fool Family looked at one another. They all wore angry but helpless expressions.

In the end, Ax admitted defeat.

"Old Madam, Your Grace, we'll see you at next month's banquet. I hope you'll be just as full of energy then as you are today." His voice was low and muffled, like a tiger locked in a cage. "Let's go."

At his command, the Fool Family members looked dejected as they began cleaning up the unconscious Dick and preparing to leave.

"Wait. How can you just leave like that? That wouldn't be right." Unexpectedly, the Old Madam spoke up to stop them.

Ax had almost reached the door. He turned around with a puzzled look, but said nothing.

"You came into our parlor with that thing without knowing what had happened, smashed it, and scattered all that filth everywhere. As a noble family, shouldn't you apologize properly? I'm just reasoning with you. Don't you agree?" the Old Madam said leisurely. She didn't sound the least bit reproachful. Instead, she seemed to be trying to convince them with reason.

Ax was enraged again, and the other members of the Fool Family looked even angrier.

"Old Madam, do you think we're easy to bully?"

The Old Madam covered her mouth in surprise, looking innocent. "How could I? I think this is a perfectly reasonable request. You just need to apologize, and we can settle this privately. We don't need to take it to the Church. Just think about it: if His Holiness the Pope found out, what would he think of the Fool Family? I'm only looking out for you, so you don't embarrass yourselves in public. Don't you agree?"

At the words "His Holiness the Pope," every member of the Fool Family, including Ax, looked apprehensive.

And after the Old Madam finished speaking, all the anger vanished from their faces.

If this went to the Church... Benjamin thought, the Bishop still needed him, so he would definitely take his side. And in fact, the Fool Family had already lost any claim to justice. No one could prove that Benjamin had thrown the chamber pot. The Fool Family had come here to make trouble without cause, and the Riser Family was already being generous by agreeing to settle it privately. Taking it to the Church would surely benefit the Riser Family.

Benjamin understood this, and Ax naturally did too. He looked at the Old Madam, his expression shifting several times before finally settling into a bitter smile.

"Old Madam, you're being a little unreasonable, aren't you?"

At that, the Old Madam innocently rolled her eyes. Then she suddenly gave a matter-of-fact smile, looking as kindly and harmless as an old woman who'd been swindled out of her pension by a medicine peddler in her previous life.

She said, "I'm an old woman who's nearly seventy. I don't have to be reasonable."

"..."

When I talk about your age, you talk about reason. When I talk about reason, you talk about your age.

Ax looked utterly broken.