46. Giving the Genius a Bad Review

Chapter 46: Giving the Genius a Bad Review

Earl Dracula kept a smile on his handsome face. "Then that duck must be quite something."

With his elegant clothes and refined manners, Earl Dracula was easy to like.

Jessica, startled by the gunshots, came out of the room and into the Main Hall with the two children. She was gazing at Earl Dracula, the Vampire brimming with masculine charm, her eyes shining.

She compared him to Alvin. Well, when it came to looks and fashion sense, Dracula left Alvin in the dust. But in terms of temperament, Alvin was clearly more human, warmer. Earl Dracula was just too perfect, more like a delicate work of art. Nice to look at, but that was all. Yeah, Alvin was better!

Alvin gave Fury, who was plainly taken aback, a thoughtful look. Smiling, he raised his glass and clinked it against Earl Dracula's. "Well then, Your Excellency, Earl Dracula, would you care to tell us why you're here?"

Dracula stroked his mustache. The same gesture made him look much more handsome than Stark. "I've settled in New York. Recently, I heard that people in Hell's Kitchen were very hostile toward the Vampire Clan, so I thought I'd come and see for myself. Perhaps there's been some misunderstanding."

"The Vampire Clan?" Alvin tilted his head, studying Earl Dracula. "What's that? We've killed a lot of Vampires lately. Are they what you mean by the Vampire Clan?"

Dracula drained his glass of Whiskey and shook his head with a smile. "Those you killed can't be called members of the Vampire Clan. They're merely offspring created by the Clan to serve them. The Clan's servants hardly qualify as members."

"Oh," Alvin said, eyeing the Vampire before him with amusement. To him, Dracula was putting on airs. "So what brings you here? To demand justice for your livestock? Or you could name your price. I'll pay you back for them."

Earl Dracula's expression gradually turned cold. He stared at Alvin. "I simply wanted to see what kind of person could disregard the Vampire Clan entirely. Without even the slightest bit of respect." As he spoke, he glanced at Director Fury, making it clear that Fury was included in his meaning.

Director Fury stared at Earl Dracula with his one good eye. "Earl, why don't you go back and lie in a coffin? The Elder Council should be the ones negotiating with us about the Vampire Clan. Your Dhampir underlings have been anything but well-behaved lately."

Earl Dracula gave Director Fury a radiant smile and shrugged. "So what?" He lunged for Alvin's neck with his left hand, trying to seize him.

Alvin sneered and kicked the switch beneath the bar. With a sharp click, intense light blazed throughout the house, inside and out.

Earl Dracula shrieked and stumbled backward, trying to escape the Restaurant. Alvin cruelly raised his modified Shotgun and fired. The blast struck Earl Dracula square in his handsome face.

The Shotgun, loaded with the Rune "Eth," fired more than a hundred pellets. They couldn't kill the mighty Earl Dracula, but they turned his face into a horrific lunar landscape. One "Eth"-enhanced shot wasn't quite enough for this immortal old bastard. Tomorrow, he'd outfit JJ and Frank with weapons fitted with +3 "Eth."

JJ, who'd already been itching for a fight, grabbed an Iron bar from somewhere. Taking a Golf Ball swing, she brought the bar around in a perfect arc. The force even bent the Iron. While Earl Dracula was reeling from the shot to the face, she swung it between his legs. Smack!

Already in agony beneath the Sun Lamps, Earl Dracula went silent like a rooster with its neck caught. Then he clutched his crotch and fell to the floor. Ignoring the smoke rising from his body under the Sun Lamps, he let out an ear-piercing scream.

Director Fury and Agent Coulson watched from the side, their legs going weak and their knees clamping shut. JJ was downright sadistic. They'd never noticed that about her before.

The moment the Sun Lamps came on, Frank rushed in front of Jessica and the two children, shielding them behind him.

Alvin took out a pair of sunglasses and put them on. After letting his eyes adjust, he vaulted over the bar with one hand.

The Remington Shotgun emptied its remaining five Bullets into Earl Dracula's head.

You had to give Earl Dracula credit. This old Vampire was tough. Even under the Sun Lamps, with his balls smashed and all those shots from Alvin to the head, he could still thrash around on the floor and scream with plenty of life left in him.

The Sun Lamps were a gift Stark had sent over yesterday. Though he'd become a laughingstock on Television, this genius cursed with knowledge had still come up with a complete Vampire Countermeasure System in just two days, then sent a set to someone he considered a friend.

Earl Dracula's special abilities were almost entirely Weakened by the sunlight. All he could do was rely on the thick skin he'd built up over the centuries to withstand Alvin's gunfire. That was a joke, of course. The old Vampire was just that tough. Even all that wasn't enough to kill him.

Alvin took the Iron bar from JJ and motioned for him to find a rope. Then he started swinging the bar like a brutal Loan Shark beating up a poor student who was months behind on Campus Loans. (Kids, don't take out Loan Shark loans carelessly.) He beat Earl Dracula mercilessly for five straight minutes. The bar bent out of shape several times, but Alvin just bent it back and kept going.

Director Fury and Agent Coulson watched the whole thing from the side, their hearts pounding. Earl Dracula was a superpowered individual registered with S.H.I.E.L.D. How could Alvin be beating him on the ground like some street thug? It didn't seem real.

Thor and Dom hadn't been able to help earlier, but now they charged in. Each Wolf bit down on one of Earl Dracula's legs and tugged hard.

Seeing Earl Dracula suffer the same fate as Black Bear Boss last week, Frank felt a little sorry for him. He grabbed a Remington from behind the bar and fired several shots at the Earl's head. But he wouldn't die, so there was nothing Frank could do.

JJ found a length of paracord and, like a practiced kidnapper, tied Earl Dracula up like a dumpling. With his head a bloody mess, Earl Dracula couldn't fight back and had no choice but to let her do as she pleased.

Alvin stared down at Earl Dracula, sprawled on the floor beneath the intense light of the Sun Lamps. All he had to show for it was smoke rising from his body and slightly cracked skin. Alvin felt a little heavy-hearted. Even Marvel's geniuses weren't reliable! He called Stark and gave his Vampire Countermeasure System a bad review.

Woken up by the call, Stark exploded in furious denial. "Impossible!" He told Alvin to wait; he'd be right over to see this Vampire that sunlight couldn't kill.

Alvin switched off some of the Sun Lamps in the Restaurant, leaving only a few trained on Earl Dracula. Too much exposure to these lamps could cause skin cancer, and they used a ton of electricity. He'd leave them on for His Excellency the Earl to enjoy.