Love Talk Bible

When Alvin returned to Community School through the Space Gate Strange had opened, the quiet campus made his heart leap.

But when Old Cage's furious cursing reached him, Alvin finally breathed a sigh of relief. He opened his arms to Old Cage, who wore a sour expression and was spewing profanities...

Old Cage "reluctantly" hugged Alvin tightly, his ruddy nose leading the way as he grumbled and cursed. "Don't go so far away next time. These old bones of mine can't keep an eye on those little punks...

"What's so fun about London? Wouldn't it be better to have the Brits bomb those Aliens with missiles?"

Alvin laughed and hugged the old man tightly. "Looks like you hate the British. What did they do to you?"

Old Cage patted Alvin's arm, pursed his lips, and said irritably, "The food, the weather, the people, and Oxford and Cambridge. They're the worst places in the world.

"Everyone there is so pretentious and annoying. Just think of that Prince who divorced his beautiful wife and married an ugly woman. What would you do if everyone around you was like that?"

Alvin nodded, amused. Putting on an exaggerated expression, he said darkly, "I'd fight my way through the world to escape. It'd have to be the worst place in the world.

"No good food, no beautiful women, no romance, and the people there speak in such a strange accent..."

Alvin straightened his back, tucked in his chin, and said in a terrible British accent, "Even Demons quote the Bible to justify themselves, but the British have their own faults..."

Old Cage burst out laughing at Alvin's antics. He pounded Alvin on the shoulder, wiped away tears of joy, and said, "Don't butcher Shakespeare. He was British too, but Britain really is like that. Ha