The Competitive Spirit Between Women

Alvin, under Hela's murderous glare, jumped as Frigga zapped him with her "health-boosting electric shock."

"Hey, Frigga, don't do that again. Is that really the only thing the Queen of Asgard enjoys?"

Alvin grumbled in protest as he walked straight over to the children, who were being "besieged" by makeup artists.

Besieged was the right word. At least, the makeup artists were nearly at their wits' end trying to contain the boundless energy of little Ginny.

The little girl wore a plastic "hook" on her left hand and held an eyebrow pencil in her right. With a black eyepatch over one eye, she'd used the mirror to draw several messy centipede-like scars on her face. Now, wearing a captain's hat, she was waving her hook and demanding that the makeup artists hand over their money.

A flamboyant makeup artist in tight white pants pressed his hands to his cheeks, his face utterly smitten. In a shrill voice, he said, "Oh, she's just too adorable! Ah, I wish I could have a daughter this cute..."

Alvin rolled his eyes as he went over and picked up "Hook Captain." He looked at the haphazard "scars" on her face and sighed. "Looks like you're already so handsome you have no rivals. Could you give the eyebrow pencil back to this, um, lady?"

Little Ginny drew her mouth into a reluctant pout, then turned her head and used the last unblemished patch of her little face to draw an X in the mirror. Only then did she hand the pencil back to the flamboyant makeup artist, politely saying, "Thank you!"

Under Alvin's knife-sharp gaze, the makeup artist cautiously took the pencil. He resisted the urge to pinch Ginny's cheek, rolled his eyes, then turned to look for another adorable little girl.

Jack Sparrow was