The Furnace Exploded—Where the Hell Was My Hair?

"Moo, moo!"

Black Bull was still kneading his shoulders. It could not handle such delicate work, only the rough jobs.

"Old Bull, it's fine. I need a few days to recover my mana."

"Moo!"

Black Bull answered that even if he took years, it would be fine.

Another three days passed before Chen Xun recovered his depleted mana. Today, his vitality and spirit surged as he shouted:

"The auspicious hour has arrived. This venerable one shall open the furnace and refine pills! May immortals, gods, and Buddhas bless me and show Chen Xun some respect!"

"Moo moo moo moo!"

The alchemy furnace spiraled into the air, and stalk after stalk of Spirit Medicine flew into it. Before long, there were pools of useless medicinal liquid again. Cold.

Another three days passed. His mana recovered, Chen Xun sat cross-legged, veins bulging in his arms as he roared:

"The auspicious hour has arrived. This venerable one shall open the furnace and refine pills! May immortals, gods, and Buddhas bless me and show Chen Xun some respect!"

"Moo moo moo moo!"

The alchemy furnace spiraled into the air, and stalk after stalk of Spirit Medicine flew into it. Before long, there were pools of useless medicinal liquid yet again. Cold.

A month later, Chen Xun's fingers trembled slightly and the corners of his mouth twitched as he said in a low voice:

"The auspicious hour has arrived. This venerable one shall open the furnace and refine pills. May immortals, gods, and Buddhas bless me and show Chen Xun some respect..."

"Moo..."

The alchemy furnace spiraled into the air, and stalk after stalk of Spirit Medicine flew into it. Before long, there were pools of useless medicinal liquid yet, yet again. Freezing cold.

Another month passed. Black Bull was listless, while Chen Xun's eye sockets had sunk deep and his hair whipped wildly about. He said in a trembling voice:

"The auspicious hour has arrived. This venerable one shall open the furnace and refine pills. May immortals, gods, and Buddhas bless me and show Chen Xun some respect, please."

"Moo~..."

The alchemy furnace spiraled into the air, and stalk after stalk of Spirit Medicine flew into it. This time, however, the fragrance of medicine rushed into their nostrils. Chen Xun had finally grasped the essence.

A sharp gleam appeared in Black Bull's eyes as it slowly rose to its feet. It desperately wanted to say the words "fucking awesome," but simply could not force them out.

"Old Bull, it worked! I did it, hahaha..."

Chen Xun laughed crazily under his breath, his eyes bloodshot as though he wanted to swallow the Alchemy Furnace whole. So much Spirit Medicine—so many Spirit Stones—had simply vanished.

Sure enough, in this Cultivation World, not even a dog would become an alchemist. Unless an Immortal Gate was there to foot the bill, perhaps.

"Moo moo~~" Black Bull was incredibly excited. Looking at those dozen or so pure white pills, it kept kneading Chen Xun's shoulders.

The medicinal fragrance filled the entire cave. It was simply too wonderful.

"Record it first. This is all experience."

Chen Xun had nearly lost himself in excitement, but this was the important matter. He took out a booklet and began writing and drawing. He would review it every day; what he lacked least was Time.

"Old Bull, try the effects."

"Moo."

They each tapped one with a finger, and a pill slid smoothly into their mouths. Chen Xun and Black Bull both jolted as a pure medicinal power spread through their bodies.

That feeling was like... roaming the vast sea, utterly free, bringing the most exquisite pleasure.

"Comfortable..."

Chen Xun could not help saying it. As the medicinal power dispersed, the bottleneck seemed to loosen. Another Heavy Feather Pill entered his mouth, and he continued refining it.

Joyful moos rang continuously from Black Bull's mouth as it sat cross-legged on the ground.

"Fucking awesome!!"

"Moo!!"

When the third pill entered their mouths, the bottleneck that had held them back was like floodgates thrown open. They instantly broke through to Qi Refinement Level Five! Chen Xun and Black Bull jumped around in wild delight. They did not want to be stuck to death at some realm.

"Don't refine pills this month. Stabilize our cultivation."

Chen Xun said excitedly, "Then we'll find a river and take a bath. Next month, we'll open the furnace!"

"Moo moo." Black Bull nodded wildly. Everything was hard at the beginning.

In the days that followed, they lived a life of three points and one line—rising at sunrise and resting at sunset—cultivating seeds, refining pills, and cultivating.

Another year of Time passed in a hurry. The Immortal Ascension Assembly opened as scheduled, but the Ox-Leading Bandit was nowhere to be seen.

The Liao Family was furious. They had laid another ambush for nothing, their strength having nowhere to land. No one knew what the bandit looked like, much less where it came from. It was as though it had evaporated from the Mortal Realm.

Inside the cave, Chen Xun added Longevity Points to the Essence of All Things once more.

In the latter half of the year, Chen Xun successfully refined three more batches. They ate pills while consolidating their cultivation, neither arrogant nor impatient. To Chen Xun and Black Bull, Time was the cheapest thing there was.

What mattered most was taking every step steadily. They had now broken through to Qi Refinement Level Six—terrifying indeed!

"Although these Spirit Medicines have extremely demanding growth conditions, our Essence of All Things seems capable of overcoming everything."

Chen Xun and Black Bull opened another chamber within the cave, filling it with Spirit Medicine, all several decades old.

He had read in the Encyclopedia of Spiritual Herbs that these Spirit Medicines had to grow in Spirit Soil. They could not simply be planted in ordinary earth.

"Moo~"

Black Bull looked at their kingdom and beamed with delight. Spiritual energy assailed the nostrils here, and they now cultivated in this place.

"It's just that this Alchemy Furnace is far too flimsy."

Chen Xun frowned, always feeling that the furnace was not quite right. "Looks like we'll need to replace it when the time comes."

Black Bull nodded. It did not understand pill refinement very well, only that the outer shell of the Alchemy Furnace seemed to have deteriorated somewhat.

In the second year, Chen Xun did not refine pills, but he remained incredibly busy, constantly studying the Encyclopedia of Spiritual Herbs, reciting and researching it every day.

Black Bull managed the patch of Spirit Medicine. Once they reached the proper age, it picked them and stored them in medicine boxes.

Life remained peaceful in the end, without so much troublesome nonsense coming to their door.

Another Immortal Ascension Assembly arrived, bringing many unfamiliar faces. They were brimming with ambition and confidence, determined to ascend to immortality in one stroke.

Some of the old faces merely shook their heads and sighed. Back then, they had mocked the Ox-Leading Bandit for wearing a hood. Now they themselves wore hoods, with opportunity right before their eyes; unwillingness naturally filled their hearts.

They looked down on the Mortal Realm. They would rather grow old and die in Nine-Star Valley than return in disgrace. Deep within Ningyun Mountain Range, who knew how many dry bones lay buried?

Those who sold booklets were overjoyed. There were more and more people in their trade now, and they sorely needed fresh blood.

What most people did not know was that there were actually many Immortal Ascension Assemblies like this. The Ten Great Immortal Sects would not hold them in only one place.

The Liao Family had completely given up as well, continuing their business in Nine-Star Valley. It was only a small matter; there was no need to let others laugh at the Liao Family for being petty.

Perhaps that bandit had been gnawed until no bones remained by some demon beast. That was what they thought.

Inside the cave, after Chen Xun added Longevity Points to the Essence of All Things, he calmed his mind and steadied his breath, preparing to open the furnace and refine pills.

Black Bull had prepared the Spirit Medicine and acted as a cheerleader at the side, giving Chen Xun's shoulders and back a vigorous rub.

"Now that this venerable one's mana has greatly increased, I wish to open the furnace and refine pills! May immortals, gods, and Buddhas bless me and show Chen Xun some respect!"

Chen Xun's gaze sharpened. His robe fluttered without wind, while his black hair drifted up from behind his back. The sense of ritual was fully maxed out.

"Moo~~" Black Bull let out a long bellow.

Chen Xun's technique was practiced. Stalk after stalk of Spirit Medicine was swiftly placed into the furnace, everything proceeding flawlessly.

Originally, refining one batch of pills required three days of recovery. Now, only two were needed.

Time rushed by, and more than half a year had passed when a tremendous boom suddenly came from the cave. The Alchemy Furnace exploded...

Chen Xun's face was black with soot, his expression blank as thick black smoke poured from his mouth. He now sported a balding hairstyle, the entire patch in the middle blasted away.

"Moo!!"

Black Bull's eyes filled with panic. It blasted out heavy snorts and hurried over to inspect him. Thank goodness, the man was unharmed.

In an instant, its legs went weak. Its big eyes curved into crescents as it took tiny steps backward, its belly constantly twitching while muffled snorts continued to escape.

"The furnace actually exploded."

Chen Xun frowned slightly, still unaware of the seriousness of the problem. "Looks like magical artifacts wear down too."

"Why does the top of my head feel a little chilly?"

A terrible feeling seized Chen Xun. He touched it with a hand, then touched it again. His features gradually twisted. "WHERE THE HELL IS MY HAIR!!!"

A lion king's furious roar rang through the cave, shaking loose bits of gravel.

"Gak gak..."

Black Bull was nearly done for by then, making strange cries. It had never seen Chen Xun look like this before.

Chen Xun silently pulled the Bandit Headscarf over his head, then turned his blood-red eyes toward Black Bull. "Old Bull, die for me!"

"Moo~~!!!"

A heaven-shaking scream rang out from the cave, like the sound of a cow being slaughtered for New Year.