"Students who often lie flat know this: lying down is easy, getting back up is hard. With an ordinary coffin, closing the lid means nightfall, while opening it means the sky comes crashing down. After your Primordial Spirit had been roaming freely outside for decades, you went back to take a look—well, guess what? Your body had gone completely stiff! It had turned into old zombie meat!"
"Your vital energy and blood had frozen, your Spiritual Root had withered, and some coffins leaked air and grew mold inside. When you opened them, white, red, black, and pink stuff all flew around together. All sorts of little cuties had grown up in there. What could you do then? Other than send it to the crematorium, what else could you do?!"
"But now, there was no need to worry—the Black and White Impermanence Coffin Shop was here! It was a thousand-year-old establishment, and its owners, White Impermanence and Black Impermanence, were both seasoned experts in coffin-making. The old Chill-Feel Coffins consumed spiritual energy and Spirit Stones, making them bulky and inconvenient to maintain. But the brand-new coffins only needed electricity. Five-armor quality, Level One energy consumption—at most 0.5 kilowatt-hours per night, cheaper than running an air conditioner. Order now and receive a multifunctional door-shaped pillow that protected your neck while massaging your cervical spine."
"On top of that, the coffin came with Spirit Brain controls: humidification during the day, insulation at night, plus twenty-four-hour sterilization and mite removal. You could lie in it all day without rotting, and still look lifelike fifty years after death. There were also sixteen massage hands on the bottom. These were the most human-like massage hands I had ever seen! They were definitely stronger than veteran masseurs and would absolutely make your body soft, tender, and springy,