Li Mao, Can You Stop Taking Care of Me?

"Hey, what day do you start school? Do you need me to drive you over?"

Li Mao had eaten more than half a bowl of rice before remembering to ask He Che about his upcoming enrollment as a college student.

These past few days, he had been preparing himself for the possibility that He Che would ask to borrow tuition money. But school was about to start, and He Che still had not said a word. Li Mao had no idea whether he had scraped together enough or not.

Ever since He Che started working part-time at the bar, he had barely spent any of Li Mao's money. Aside from rent, utilities, and other shared expenses, the two rarely had any financial dealings.

For poor people like them, talking about money hurt feelings too much.

And for poor people who had come together halfway through life and made a home together, their relationship was even more fragile.

Unless they were truly at the end of their rope, they would never ask their "family" for help.

Hearing this, He Che put down the book in his hands and said to Li Mao, "Registration is the day after tomorrow, but I'm planning to commute instead of staying in the dorms. I won't have much to bring, so there's no need to drive all the way there."

Li Mao paused mid-chew and frowned. "Why aren't you staying in the dorms? Willow City University is half a city away from here. If you commute every day, aren't your legs gonna fall off from all that running around?"

Of course He Che knew how far Willow City University was from where they lived. His decision to commute had naturally come after careful thought.

He Che closed the book and carefully placed it on his lap before answering, "I calculated it. If I ride a bike, for an eight o'clock class, leaving home at five-thirty in the morning should still get me there in time."

"More importantly, I spoke to the counselor. The dorms have a curfew. I still have to work part-time at the bar at night, and if I get off in the middle of the night, I won't be able to get back into the dorm anyway. Besides, the bar is closer to our place. Instead of spending all that time going back to the dorm, I might as well sleep an extra half hour."

"Besides, with the way I live, staying in a shared dorm would make the other roommates uncomfortable too. So I just applied to commute."

At that point, He Che also took the opportunity to explain the tuition issue to Li Mao.

"The counselor knows about my situation. I applied for a student loan for tuition. I can pay it back slowly later, so it won't be too much of a burden."

"Don't worry. I'll pay you the rent on time. I'll still split the utilities and other household expenses with you as usual. You don't have to worry about me taking advantage of you..."

By the end, He Che's voice was trembling with nervousness.

Though he and Li Mao were nominally only in a landlord-tenant relationship without even a contract, they had depended on each other for so many years that their bond had long surpassed that of a second landlord and tenant.

They were seven years apart, an age gap that made it easy for them to get along like brothers.

But He Che had started trailing after Li Mao like a little tail when he was twelve. At that age, it was easy to become dependent on an adult.

In his heart, Li Mao was like half a father.

In short, their relationship was part family, part friendship, and impossibly complicated.

And now, he had secretly made all these decisions behind the back of someone who was practically an elder in the family.

Student loans, commuting to school.

Just thinking about it, he knew Li Mao would be furious over his acting on his own.

He Che often teased Li Mao without much restraint, but deep down, he still held a certain amount of respect for him.

Like a rebellious child who had done something wrong, he lowered his head dejectedly and prepared to await his "parent's" judgment.

Li Mao did not react right away. He merely continued chewing the spicy chicken in his mouth, which had started to taste a little sour and bitter.

Only after swallowing that mouthful of food did he look toward He Che on the sofa and curse in a flippant tone, "Have you gone stupid from studying? Can't you tell which is more comfortable, serving plates at a bar or sitting in a classroom studying? You'll have plenty of time to work yourself like an ox and horse for the rest of your life."

"You worked so hard, staring at books until your eyes practically fell out, and finally got into college. Why the hell don't you just study properly? Every day, all you think about is that damn plate-serving job. Were you born with a servant's fate or what?"

"Hurry up and tell your counselor! Tell them you're moving into the dorms. Tell me what time you're leaving the morning after tomorrow, and I'll drive you there. If you're missing anything, take a look. Later, I'll drive you out to get some supplies."

After saying that, Li Mao lowered his head again and started stuffing chicken into his mouth, though it had long since lost the flavor it had at the start of the meal.

Perhaps because of the abnormal effects caused by his pheromones after being marked, his stomach, usually willing to eat anything, was now protesting desperately despite being served his favorite cuisine made by his favorite chef.

Li Mao lowered his face a little more, hiding his unhealthy complexion.

He Che did not look much better either.

Li Mao's choice of words was far from pleasant, but every sentence told him not to worry about money and to live like an ordinary college student, enjoying the youth that came only once in a lifetime.

And precisely because of that, He Che felt so weighed down that he could barely breathe.

He clenched the fabric of the sofa beside him and stubbornly said, "I was born with a servant's fate. If I don't work part-time, am I supposed to stand outside the school cafeteria every meal and wait to drink the northwest wind?"

He Che understood everything. And because he understood everything, he did not want to keep being Li Mao's burden.

A full six years...

He had been pitiful after being abandoned. He had done nothing wrong...

But what had Li Mao done wrong?

Why should he have to raise a strange child for six years?

He had merely rented a room to an unwanted little brat for three hundred yuan.

Li Mao had already been feeling unwell, and now He Che's words hurt him so much that even his heart ached.

He stood up and slammed his chopsticks onto the table with a smack.

"Damn it! How much money can college possibly cost? When you only came up to my waist and could do nothing but wait eagerly for me to bring food home, did I ever starve you to death or something?!"

After cursing, Li Mao seemed to remember something. He rushed into his bedroom, then came back a while later and flung a bank card at He Che's face.

Pointing at He Che, he roared, "Isn't it just money? Do you really think I don't have a damn cent? I'm lending it to you! Anyway, you still owe me plenty from before! Once you graduate and start making money, just pay it all back together!"

"If it's not enough, tell me..."

After turning back toward his seat, Li Mao did not forget to add that quietly.

He Che stared at the bank card lying silently on the floor, his vision slowly growing blurry.

After a long while, the clinking of bowls and chopsticks resumed. Only then did He Che ask through a choked voice, "Li Mao... can you stop taking care of me?"

No matter how many years passed, Li Mao still did not understand the fragile thoughts of this sensitive kid.

Faced with He Che, who had gone through an enormous internal struggle before finally taking this step and deciding to speak plainly to him about their nonexistent parent-child relationship, Li Mao merely puffed out his cheeks and rolled his eyes at him viciously.

"Are you getting too into character or what? I know you've always wanted to chase your dream in showbiz, but your brother's really tired today. I'll run lines with you another day."

Li Mao even used his chopsticks to gesture vaguely at He Che's tearful expression, then commented, "Che, you came into this emotional scene a little stiffly. Keep working at it."

"..."

He Che, whose fist had been gathering strength for a century only to land softly on cotton, felt a deep sense of powerlessness.

He knew that his relationship with Li Mao could not be severed so easily, neatly and clearly, with each of them going their separate ways in peace.

He had indeed lost control of his emotions a little today.

Starting college was the fuse, but what had truly ignited this argument was undoubtedly Li Mao's "romance."

He Che often felt that he was Li Mao's burden, an unnecessary presence.

But never had it become so tangible as it did the moment he realized Li Mao was in love.

Perhaps it was time to give Li Mao's life back to him.

Making that decision was painful for He Che. It felt like staying awake while personally carving a living piece of flesh off his own body.

Better short pain than long pain.

That was why he had been so eager to remove himself from Li Mao's life, overlooking this man's stubborn, mule-like temperament.

After waiting for a long time without seeing the kid pick up the card from the floor, Li Mao threatened viciously, "He Che, if you don't talk to your counselor, I'll beat you until your head comes off, then carry your dog head by the neck and apply for a dorm room for you myself."

He Che sighed helplessly.

As if resigned to his fate, he bent down and picked up the bank card that had been thrown on the floor.

He would not spend the money on it, but he knew that if he did not accept it, Li Mao really would do something that insane.

It seemed making Li Mao realize that he was not truly a single dad would have to happen slowly...

There was a long road ahead...

After putting away the card, He Che said nothing more. He simply reopened his book as if at a loss, then began reading.

When Li Mao saw the little brat accept the bank card he had taken the chance to give him, he secretly breathed a sigh of relief. Under the table, his hand pressed harder against his cramping lower abdomen.

Just as the atmosphere had barely returned to peace and quiet, an excessively noisy clatter of mahjong tiles suddenly came from upstairs, mixed with teasing laughter and crude curses.

Li Mao and He Che exchanged a look at the same time.