Making Friction Zero

"Pfft!"

Deadpool had only taken one bite when he couldn't help but spit it right out.

"Are you kidding me? Why does this thing taste so awful? It's like shit mixed with garbage!" Deadpool shouted at Rosha.

He could swear that he had never eaten anything so disgusting in his life.

Yet the worse it tasted, the more Deadpool believed it.

After all, if someone had really tampered with this Devil Fruit, why would they make it taste this terrible?

"Sir, there's a saying in China. Honest advice is hard on the ears but helps one's conduct; good medicine tastes bitter but cures illness."

Rosha spoke to Deadpool with a perfectly serious expression.

"Sorry, what did you just say? That taste was so intense it practically choked me. I didn't hear a word."

Deadpool raised his head and looked at Rosha with an innocent expression.

Rosha: "..."

"Forget it, we'll talk later." Deadpool waved a hand.

Then he pinched his nose, stuffed the remaining small piece of fruit into his mouth, chewed hard, and swallowed it.

"I must be crazy. I actually believed your nonsense... shit, what's going on? Why does my body feel so cool?"

Deadpool had regretted swallowing it the moment it went down, silently cursing himself for being too impulsive. How could there possibly be such a magical fruit in the world?

But halfway through his sentence, he suddenly felt a mysterious power acting upon his skin.

Deadpool immediately touched his face in astonishment, only to find that the pits and scars on his skin were rapidly shrinking and fading.

Before long, they had vanished completely.

Judging by touch alone, it truly felt as though he were touching something incredibly smooth!

"Shit, no way?"

Deadpool looked utterly incredulous as he yanked off his mask.

A completely renewed face immediately appeared before Rosha.

Deadpool took a deep breath, pulled out his phone, switched the camera to the front-facing one, and held it before his face.

"Holy shit!"

Deadpool let out a howl. His hand trembled so badly that he nearly threw away his phone.

He simply couldn't believe his eyes.

His face, which had looked as though it had been trampled by ten thousand horses, had actually healed!

It had really healed!

"Shit, how is this even possible? My face... it just healed?" Deadpool still couldn't quite process it.

"Sir, as you can see, your skin has become exceptionally smooth. I didn't lie to you, did I?" Rosha asked Deadpool with a smile.

As long as a customer tried a sample, the chances of closing the deal became extremely high.

Especially with someone like Deadpool, who had such a glaring flaw, while the Devil Fruit Rosha offered could perfectly make up for it.

That made the deal even more certain.

"This is more than smooth. Even the skin of the goddesses I fantasize about every night isn't this good, buddy! If women saw my skin now, they'd be too jealous to sleep!"

Deadpool was so excited that he nearly jumped up.

"Sir, it seems you're very satisfied with this shop's Devil Fruit, aren't you?" Rosha asked at just the right moment.

"Satisfied? Buddy, satisfied doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I don't even know how to describe it—excited, thrilled, unbelievable..."

Seeing the wildly excited look in Deadpool's eyes, Rosha believed every word of it.

"A customer's satisfaction is my greatest encouragement. Sir, what you just ate was only a sample, and its effects can last for only five minutes."

"But don't worry, sir. As long as you buy this Smooth-Smooth Fruit, you'll be able to keep that face that even immortals would envy forever."

Seeing that the timing was right, Rosha began pitching the fruit to Deadpool.

Deadpool finally understood why he had been allowed to eat such an overpowered fruit so casually.

Turns out it had only been a five-minute trial version, nothing more.

But thinking about it, that made sense. Who in their right mind would casually let someone else eat something so miraculous?

"You crooked merchant, you knew that after tasting it, I'd be so tempted that I'd have to buy it, didn't you? You crooked merchant—but I like you! I'll take this fruit!"

Deadpool waved a hand grandly and declared it to Rosha.

"During the shop's opening promotion, all fruits are thirty percent off. The Smooth-Smooth Fruit originally costs one million dollars, but after the discount, it costs only seven hundred thousand dollars."

"Very nice. A magical fruit like this even gets a discount... wait, wait a second, how much did you say?"

The smile on Deadpool's face froze instantly, and he even wondered whether he had heard wrong.

"You're selling one fruit for a million dollars? Isn't that a little outrageous?" Deadpool's voice rose several octaves.

"Sir, let me repeat: if you buy it now, it costs only seven hundred thousand dollars. And honestly, do you truly think that price is expensive?"

"To put it bluntly, sir, even seven million dollars probably couldn't fix your face, could it?"

"Besides, before long, this shop will no longer accept payment in dollars. We'll switch to gold, and by then customers will have to pay considerably more."

Rosha spoke to Deadpool with complete confidence. "And sir, making your skin look good is merely a side effect of the Smooth-Smooth Fruit. Its true ability is to make the skin smooth! Why do I keep emphasizing the word 'smooth'?"

"What's the difference?" Deadpool was stunned by Rosha's words. Smooth didn't just mean good-looking?

"Of course not, sir. Otherwise, why wouldn't this fruit be called the Beauty Fruit? Why is it called the Smooth-Smooth Fruit? Because it can reduce your skin's friction to zero, achieving true smoothness!"

"Do I really need to explain what zero friction means? If someone punches you, their fist will slide right off!"

Rosha continued introducing the fruit to Deadpool.

"Zero friction? That's way too ridiculous, isn't it? You're not lying to me, are you? But you can't fool me!"

As he said this, Deadpool suddenly slapped himself hard across the face.

As expected of Little Deadpool—he truly did things without warning.

"It really slid off! That slap slipped right away, like I'd hit a block of ice!" Deadpool cried out in disbelief.

Of course, with Deadpool's absurdly powerful and freakish healing ability, reflected attacks might seem somewhat unnecessary.

But the key issue was that even if Deadpool could heal himself, pain still hurt just as much.

"Sir, take off your shoes and try again. As long as the ground has even the slightest slope, you'll be able to slide around like you're skating."

Before Rosha had even finished speaking, Deadpool impatiently tossed away his shoes.

Sure enough, his entire body began rapidly sliding to one side.

After all, a perfectly level floor simply did not exist.

"Cool! This is so damn cool—cool beyond imagination!" Deadpool cried out excitedly again and again.