Is This Bed Made of Paper?

In the bedroom, the phone Jian Ning had accidentally thrown now lay pitifully on the expensive Persian carpet. Although the screen was intact, that "scandalous photo" was still displayed, emitting an eerie green glow. The filter used to edit it was downright hellish.

Huo Si picked up the phone and swiped the screen twice with his long fingers, frowning hard enough to crush a fly.

"This editing..." Huo Si sneered. "They didn't even add the mole on my shoulder. Is Lin Yu insulting my intelligence, or your eyesight?"

Jian Ning sat cross-legged on the bed, his cheeks puffed up with anger.

"This isn't about the editing skills! It's about the attitude! Sending something like this on our big day—he just wants to disgust us!"

[Not just disgusting, but bad luck too! This is our wedding night! Sending a 'bed photo'—is he implying I'll be a virgin widower tonight?]

Huo Si heard his thoughts, and a trace of helplessness flickered through his eyes.

He returned to the bedside, tossed the phone aside, and casually turned off the main lights, leaving only one dim, suggestive bedside lamp on.

"Ignore him. He's just a clown."

Huo Si leaned down, bracing his hands on either side of Jian Ning and enclosing the still-fuming little guy in his arms. Lowering his head, he rubbed his nose against Jian Ning's, his voice deep and husky, carrying an obvious implication.

"On such a fine night, don't waste time on irrelevant people. Hmm?"

Warm breath brushed across his face, and Jian Ning's cheeks instantly turned red.

He instinctively gripped the sheets beneath him, his heartbeat beginning to race.

[True... We already got the marriage certificate. Huo Si is now my legal physical property.]

[To hell with it! A moment of spring night is worth a thousand pieces of gold! Let's collect the 'public grain' first!]

Jian Ning took the initiative to raise his arms around Huo Si's neck, closed his eyes, and offered up his lips.

However—

Just as their lips were about to touch.

"Crack!"

A sharp sound rang out.

The bedside lamp that had been creating such a romantic atmosphere suddenly... exploded without warning.

Glass shards flew everywhere. Neither of them was hurt, but both were startled. The room instantly plunged into darkness.

"..."

A deathly silence followed.

Jian Ning froze in the dark, his hands still hooked around Huo Si's neck.

[It... exploded?]

[That was an imported crystal lamp worth tens of thousands! It just exploded like that?]

Huo Si's movements came to a halt.

He fell silent in the darkness for two seconds before speaking in a somewhat grim voice. "Maybe the voltage is unstable. Don't be afraid."

"Mm... it's fine." Jian Ning swallowed. "Then shall we... continue?"

[It's fine, it's fine. Doing it in the dark is even more exciting.]

Huo Si lowered his head again and accurately found Jian Ning's lips in the darkness.

This time, they finally kissed.

However, just as the kiss deepened and Huo Si's hand was about to undo the buttons of Jian Ning's pajamas—

"Crack—boom!"

The solid wood bed beneath them, supposedly handcrafted by Italy's finest artisans and worth millions, suddenly let out a groan of unbearable strain.

Then, the bed legs snapped clean off at the base.

The entire bed crashed heavily onto the floor like a cave-in.

A cloud of dust rose.

Jian Ning and Huo Si fell to the floor along with the mattress in an extremely awkward position.

"..."

If the lamp exploding earlier had been an accident, then the bed collapsing now was absolutely a supernatural event.

Jian Ning lay in the sunken mattress, staring at the ceiling, completely numb.

[System... is this what you meant by the Peach Blossom Calamity?]

[Isn't this a little too vicious?! Is it trying to screw us to death?!]

[Huo Si and I only weigh a little over 140 kilograms combined. This bed should be able to support a ton. How could it possibly collapse?!]

The system came online gloomily.

[Ding! Peach Blossom Calamity is in effect. Principle of the calamity: It creates accidents to interrupt all intimate behavior. Simply put, whenever you want to "do that," something unlucky will happen.]

[Friendly reminder: If the calamity is not lifted, the two of you can only be Platonic partners for the rest of your lives.]

Jian Ning: "..."

[Platonic my ass! I just got married! I still want two kids in three years—not that I do!]

Huo Si pushed himself up from the wreckage and turned on his phone's flashlight.

The beam illuminated the mess filling the room.

A shattered bulb, a collapsed bed, and two disheveled, utterly bewildered newlywed husbands.

Huo Si's face was as dark as the bottom of a pot.

He had never been this disheveled in his life.

Especially not at such a critical moment.

"Mr. Huo..." Jian Ning carefully wriggled out from beneath him. "It looks like... the feng shui in this room isn't very good tonight?"

Huo Si took a deep breath, stood up, and straightened his rumpled robe.

"Change rooms."

He refused to believe that a villa this large had nowhere to sleep.

Ten minutes later, in the guest room.

Though it was not as luxurious as the master bedroom, it was clean and neat, and the bed was brand-new.

The two lay on the guest bed, both still a little shaken.

Huo Si reached over and drew Jian Ning into his arms, cautiously kissing his forehead.

Nothing happened.

Nothing exploded.

It seemed the calamity only targeted the master bedroom?

Huo Si let out a breath of relief. His palm slid down Jian Ning's waist, just as he was about to take the next step...

"Bzz—bzz—bzz—"

The villa's fire alarm suddenly began shrieking madly, its piercing sound nearly rupturing their eardrums.

Then, the automatic sprinkler system on the ceiling activated.

"Whoosh—"

A torrential downpour descended indoors.

Two seconds.

Just two seconds.

Huo Si and Jian Ning were soaked like drowned rats.

Jian Ning wiped the water from his face and looked at the man before him—equally drenched, hair completely ruined, murderous gaze blazing from the usually serene capital scion.

At last, he could not hold it in any longer and burst out laughing.

[Hahahaha! Sorry, Huo Si. This is awful, but I really want to laugh!]

[Is this what they mean by needing cold water poured over your head when desire burns too hot?]

[Looks like tonight really isn't happening. That bastard Lin Yu's system has some tricks.]

As Huo Si watched Jian Ning laugh so hard he was bent over, the hostility in his eyes gradually faded, replaced by deep helplessness.

He reached out and pinched Jian Ning's wet cheek.

"Still laughing? Hmm?"

"Our wedding night turned into a water-splashing festival. Are you that happy?"

Jian Ning laughed until his stomach hurt. He leaned over and kissed Huo Si's dripping chin.

"I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"It means... even heaven is jealous of our love and insists on cooling us down a little."

Huo Si sighed and pulled him close, no longer caring that they were both soaking wet.

"Forget it."

"Looks like it's destined not to happen tonight."

He picked Jian Ning up, carried him out of the guest room that was still raining indoors, and headed straight for the first-floor living room.

There was no bed there, only a wide leather sofa.

And no sprinkler system.

Huo Si brought over two dry bath towels and helped Jian Ning dry his hair and body before drying himself off as well.

Then the two of them wrapped themselves in blankets and squeezed onto the not-so-spacious sofa.

There was no suggestive lighting, nor was there any romantic atmosphere.

Only moonlight streamed in through the window, falling over them both.

Huo Si held Jian Ning from behind, resting his chin on top of his head. His voice was very soft.

"I've wronged you."

"I wanted to give you a perfect night."

Jian Ning found a comfortable position in his arms and yawned.

"I don't feel wronged."

"I think this is pretty nice. It's much more memorable than following all the usual steps."

[As long as you're here, even sleeping on a sofa is five-star treatment.]

[Besides... this feeling of wanting to kill the other person but being unable to do it is actually kind of thrilling. If that bastard Lin Yu knew we could still sleep hugging each other after all this, he'd probably vomit blood from anger.]

Huo Si listened to his thoughts, and the corners of his lips lifted slightly.

He tucked the blanket around them, shielding them from the night chill.

"Sleep."

"Tomorrow morning, I'll have someone tear down this house and rebuild it."

"As for the person behind all this..."

A cold glint flashed through Huo Si's eyes in the darkness.

"I'll show him what real 'calamity' means."

That night, although the two merely slept under the same blanket and had a pure chat—meaning, slept—the security of falling asleep in each other's arms was more comforting than any intense activity.

Yet the online world completely exploded that very night.

The "scandalous photo" Lin Yu had sent Jian Ning did not stop at Jian Ning's phone.

At three in the morning, a set of photos and promotional posts titled [Huo Corporation's CEO Meets His Stand-In on His Wedding Night? The Original Is Suspected to Have Already Returned to the Country!] was released simultaneously by hundreds of gossip accounts.

Besides the "bed photo" of Huo Si and the man seen from behind, the photos included old pictures of Lin Yu and Huo Si at various events. Some were real, while others had been manipulated through misleading angles.

The articles were written with heartrending drama.

[So Jian Ning is only a stand-in! Lin Yu has returned, and President Huo has rekindled their old flame?]

[Alone on his wedding night? Has Jian Ning's dream of marrying into wealth been shattered?]

[Insider reveals: Huo Si and Jian Ning only got married to spite Lin Yu. In truth, the couple has long been estranged!]

Early-rising netizens feasted on the gossip until they were stuffed.

[Holy shit! Isn't this too melodramatic? They got married yesterday, and something like this breaks today?]

[That photo looks so real! Did President Huo really cheat?]

[I feel so bad for Jian Ning! It really isn't easy marrying into a wealthy family!]

[Who is Lin Yu? He looks so much like Jian Ning! No, wait—it's Jian Ning who looks like him!]

The next morning.

Jian Ning woke to a frantic ringing phone.

Su Mo sounded as if she had swallowed explosives.

"Jian Ning! Check the trending topics! That bitch Lin Yu bought promotional posts! The entire internet is saying you're an abandoned resentful wife, saying Huo Si booked a hotel room with him last night!"

Jian Ning rubbed his sleepy eyes and wriggled out of Huo Si's arms.

He glanced at the still-sleeping Huo Si, then at the trending topics on his phone.

[Resentful wife?]

[Booked a room?]

[Pfft... Huo Si clearly spent the night squeezed on the sofa with me. His legs were too long to stretch out, and he kicked me several times.]

Jian Ning was not worried at all.

He even found it a little funny.

He poked Huo Si's cheek. "Husband, wake up. You cheated."

Huo Si opened his eyes groggily and caught the troublesome finger. "What?"

"The internet says you booked a hotel room with Lin Yu last night." Jian Ning shoved the phone in front of him. "There are pictures, so it must be true."

Huo Si glanced at the photo, and the sleepiness in his eyes vanished instantly, replaced by clarity and cold severity.

He sat up, the blanket slipping from his body and revealing his lean, muscular upper torso.

"Assistant Lin."

Huo Si called into the air directly—though he had actually made a phone call.

"President Huo, I'm here." Assistant Lin's voice came immediately. "The PR department is standing by and can remove the trending topics at any time. Also, the technical department has analyzed the original image used for that photo."

"Don't remove it."

Huo Si said calmly, "Let the buzz ferment."

"Since he wants to put on a show, then give him a stage."

Huo Si turned to Jian Ning, a hint of inquiry in his eyes.

"Madam Boss, mind if I borrow your Weibo?"

Jian Ning understood instantly.

He handed over his phone, smiling like a little fox.

"Use it however you want. But... remember to charge advertising fees."

Ten minutes later.

Just as the entire internet was cursing Huo Si as a scumbag and sympathizing with Jian Ning.

Jian Ning's Weibo updated.

It wasn't a clarification statement, nor was it a lawyer's letter.

It was a five-minute-long... [home surveillance video]—an edited version, of course.

In the video, the timestamp clearly showed it was from the previous night.

Scene one: The bed in the master bedroom collapsed, and the two of them fell into the dust with bewildered expressions.

Scene two: A torrential downpour broke out in the guest room. The two became drenched rats and looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

Scene three: At four in the morning, the two squeezed onto the tiny sofa in the living room. Huo Si covered Jian Ning with most of the only blanket, leaving half his own shoulder exposed, yet held the person in his arms tightly.

The caption was extremely brief, yet devastatingly effective:

[@Jian Ning V: I hadn't wanted to post this in the first place (it's a little embarrassing, after all), but someone insisted my husband was at a hotel last night? Sorry, but our home suffered "divine punishment" last night. We were busy fighting floods and carrying out disaster relief. PS: Someone's Photoshop skills are terrible. I suggest signing up for a class and starting over. Also, President Huo was with me all night. If he was at a hotel, then was the one holding me a ghost?]

The moment the Weibo post went up, the entire internet crashed.

The netizens laughed themselves crazy:

[HAHAHAHA! Help! What kind of wealthy newlywed wedding night is this? The bed collapsed? It rained?]

[What kind of comedy movie set is this? President Huo's baffled expression is hilarious!]

[This is true love, okay?! Even like this, they still slept hugging each other on the sofa! Too sweet!]

[Does Lin Yu, that Photoshop freak, have a sore face? The actual couple were busy wrecking their house—when would they have had time to care about you?!]

Meanwhile, Lin Yu, hiding in his apartment and scrolling through Weibo, saw the video and angrily smashed his phone onto the floor.

"Useless system! This is the estrangement plan you were talking about?!"

"Not only did it fail to make them fight, it even gave them a chance to flaunt their love?!"

"And I gained millions of haters?!"

The system replied weakly:

[Host... it seems... Huo Si's "fortune" is too strong. The Peach Blossom Calamity turned into... a Romantic Tribulation (the kind that strengthens feelings).]

[But don't panic! The shareholders' meeting is tomorrow! That's our last chance!]