Defeat Magic with Magic? No, with Square Dancing

The atmosphere was taut with tension, and the air was thick with the sweetly fishy stench of snakes.

The Miao Borderlands girl stood beneath a tree, her gaze as cold as ice. As the silver bell in her hand rang, countless red snakes flicked their tongues and crept toward them like a crimson tide.

"I'll say it one more time."

Huo Si expressionlessly undid a button at his cuff, moving with the elegance of someone preparing for a Western dinner rather than facing a swarm of snakes.

His right hand slowly reached behind his waist. His voice was low, carrying an unquestionable killing intent:

"If you want him as a sacrifice, you'll have to kill me first."

The girl sneered. "Here, your bullets aren't as fast as my snakes."

Gu Han had already scrambled onto a large boulder nearby, clinging to Jian Xiu's leg and trembling.

"President Jian! Brother Jian! If your brother-in-law starts fighting her, should we run first? I still have twenty million in acting fees I haven't spent! I don't want to die here and become snake shit!"

Jian Xiu wanted to kick Gu Han off in disgust, but the sight of snakes densely covering the ground kept him from moving. He could only hold up his trekking pole like a dog-beating stick.

"Shut up! If Huo Si loses, we're all dead!"

Jian Ning, at the center of the storm, was unusually calm.

Because the System Store in his mind was flashing frantically.

[Beep! Detected that the host is facing the "Ten Thousand Snakes Devouring the Heart" crisis.]

[Recommended items:

1. Realgar Wine (ton-level): 2,000 points. (Delivery is too slow, not recommended.)

2. Xu Xian's Umbrella: 500 points. (Can only help you fall in love, not kill snakes. Bad review.)

3. Discount divine artifact: "The Village's Hottest Guy" square dance speaker system (complimentary hit-song USB drive): 300 points.]

Jian Ning's eyelid twitched.

[System, are you serious? A square dance speaker can drive away snakes?]

System: [Host, snakes perceive the outside world through hearing. According to System calculations, this speaker's subwoofer has enough power to shatter the semicircular canals of all reptiles within a five-hundred-meter radius, making them dance on the spot and lose their ability to attack.]

[Besides, defeating magic with magic and silver bells with noise is very scientific.]

Jian Ning took a deep breath and looked at Huo Si standing before him.

The man's back was broad and straight. To protect him, Huo Si had not taken even half a step back, even though those scarlet tongues were nearly licking his trouser cuffs.

[Looks like I still have to protect my husband.]

"Um... pretty miss."

Jian Ning suddenly poked his head out from behind Huo Si, wearing an innocent smile. "Isn't all this fighting and killing a bit much? Since we're all in the arts, how about we... have a dance battle?"

The girl froze, and the hand shaking the bell paused for half a beat. "What?"

At that instant, Jian Ning swept out his hand.

"Come forth! The treasure of my stronghold!"

"Boom—"

A massive wheeled speaker, half the height of a person and flashing with rainbow neon lights, appeared out of thin air and slammed heavily into the clearing between the two sides.

Before anyone could react, Jian Ning gathered his breath into his core, pressed play, and twisted the volume knob straight to [MAX].

The next second, earth-shattering, ghost-wailing BGM exploded through the valley—

"Fahai, You Don't Understand Love!! Leifeng Pagoda Will Fall Down!!!"

"Let's Sway Together!! Let's sway together, hey hey hey!!!"

The colossal sound waves, mixed with pounding heavy-metal beats, instantly swept through the entire forest.

The speaker was not merely loud—it also sent powerful vibrations through the ground.

Its rainbow LED lights flashed wildly with the rhythm, red, green, and blue, turning the once gloomy snake formation into a rural disco.

The scene instantly spiraled out of control.

The previously ferocious swarm of red snakes was thrown into chaos the moment it felt those terrifying sonic vibrations.

Some were shaken so dizzy that they tied themselves into knots on the spot.

Some were so startled that they fled blindly up the trees.

And some snakes... actually began twisting their bodies eerily to the pounding beat, as though they were truly doing square dances.

"My gu snakes!!"

The girl screamed in terror, desperately shaking her silver bell in an attempt to regain control of the snakes.

But under the devilishly brainwashing loop of "Fahai, You Don't Understand Love," her crisp little bell sounded like a drop of water in the sea. It could not carry at all!

"W-What kind of evil sorcery is this?!" The girl covered her ears, and even her cold, pristine veil trembled from the sound waves. "Could this be the long-lost Central Plains 'Lion's Roar Technique'?!"

Huo Si watched the spectacle before him, and the corner of his mouth twitched almost imperceptibly.

He silently withdrew the hand reaching for his holster, took out two balls of cotton from his pocket instead, and skillfully stuffed them into Jian Ning's ears. Then he pulled Jian Ning into his arms, preventing him from being deafened by his own weapon.

Gu Han lay sprawled atop the boulder, staring dumbfoundedly at the venomous snakes writhing all over the ground.

"Holy shit... Jian Ning's move is insane! This is practically a mental attack!"

Jian Xiu wore a complicated expression. "When did my little brother's taste become so... down-to-earth?"

About three minutes later.

The snake swarm finally could not endure the "devilish music blasting through their ears" any longer. They scattered in every direction and vanished into the grass without a trace.

Jian Ning coolly pressed pause.

At last, the world was quiet.

The girl's hair was now disheveled and her eyes unfocused. She had clearly been badly rattled as well. She stared blankly at the still-steaming speaker, then at Jian Ning's smug face, gritting her teeth.

"Y-You win."

"Since you broke my 'Crimson Lotus Snake Formation,' that proves you do have the right to enter the stronghold."

She took a deep breath, straightened her clothes, and resumed her aloof demeanor. Yet her gaze toward Jian Ning now held a trace of wariness—and the look one reserved for a lunatic.

"Come with me. The elders have been waiting for a long time."

After passing the enormous banyan tree and following a winding mountain path, they finally saw the legendary Black Wind Stronghold.

Originally, Jian Ning had expected to see a primitive tribe living by slash-and-burn farming, dwelling in stilted houses, and raising gu insects.

However, when they truly arrived at the entrance, everyone fell silent.

A huge LED banner hung above the gates, scrolling red words across its screen:

[Warmly welcoming the Central Plains inspection delegation to Black Wind Stronghold for guidance! Scan to enter and get five yuan off!]

Looking inside, although the buildings were still traditional stilted houses, QR codes hung outside almost every home.

The Miao grandmother passing by was holding not gu insects but the latest Huawei foldable phone, scrolling through TikTok.

Several children in trendy T-shirts held ice cream cones while discussing the new Honor of Kings season skins.

Jian Ning: ...

Huo Si: ...

Gu Han: ...

[System, did I transmigrate to the wrong place?]

[Where's the mysterious Miao Borderlands we were promised? What happened to being isolated from the world?]

[This is more modern than the wet market downstairs from my apartment!]

The System said faintly, [Host, it is the twenty-first century now. We must believe in science, and also in the greatness of rural revitalization strategies.]

The girl guiding them had taken out her phone as well and sent a voice message to the group chat.

"Uncle, I brought them over. Get the feast ready. Oh, and remember to change the Wi-Fi password. Don't let outsiders freeload off the network."

After sending the message, she turned around, raised a brow at the stunned group, and said, "What? Surprised?"

"We may live in the mountains, but we aren't idiots. Tourism is the key to getting rich. Raising gu is ancient history now; it's an intangible cultural heritage performance program."

Jian Ning felt his worldview shatter into pieces.

But he quickly caught the important point.

"Um..." Jian Ning raised his hand. "If that's the case, why did you unleash snakes to bite us earlier? Why were you going to use me as a sacrifice?"

The girl looked him up and down, her expression turning rather strange.

"Because it was part of the murder-mystery game."

"Didn't you see the notice at the entrance? 'Immersive Miao Borderlands Adventure Experience,' 388 yuan per ticket, including a snake formation performance and sacrifice-role experience."

"As for you..." She pointed at Jian Ning. "You're the best-looking one, perfect for playing the sacrifice NPC. You'd attract tourists."

Jian Ning: ...

Huo Si: ...

"However," the girl suddenly changed the subject, her expression turning serious, "although the snake formation was a performance, the elders truly do wish to see you."

"Especially Mr. Jian." She stared at Jian Ning's chest—the System's location. "The elders said that you carry the scent of an 'old friend.'"

The atmosphere became heavy again.

Huo Si tightened his hold on Jian Ning's hand and asked softly, "Can you still walk?"

After all that commotion, Jian Ning had not been hurt, but his legs were obviously a little weak from fright.

Jian Ning pursed his lips. Before he could act spoiled, his entire body was lifted off the ground.

Huo Si had directly swept him up into a bridal carry.

"Wow—"

The Miao aunties passing nearby immediately erupted into teasing cheers.

"Oh my, that young man has such stamina!"

"These two handsome guys look so good together! Are they here to take wedding photos?"

Jian Ning's face turned red as a monkey's butt, and he buried his head in Huo Si's neck.

[Huo Si! Put me down! There are so many people watching!]

[And Gu Han's big mouth is right there. Tomorrow's trending topic will definitely be: <Huo Corporation CEO Carries Delicate Wife Through Deep Mountains>!]

But Huo Si acted as though he had heard nothing. Carrying him steadily forward, he wore a faint smile.

"What are you afraid of? We're legally married."

"And besides..." He lowered his head and whispered into Jian Ning's ear, "you looked very handsome when you played that song earlier. As a reward, I want to hold my greatest contributor."

Gu Han, following behind while nibbling on a sticky rice cake the girl had tossed him earlier, mumbled to Jian Xiu through a mouthful of food.

"Brother Jian, I think the two of us are totally unnecessary."

"I suddenly think that snake formation was pretty friendly. At least it was less unbearable than this dog food."

Jian Xiu darkened his face and pressed at his throbbing temple.

He had decided. Once they got back, he would reply on WeChat to that archrival from KM Group who had been pursuing him.

Dating, was it? As if he couldn't do that too!

At the deepest part of the stronghold stood an ancestral hall, clearly older and more solemn than the surrounding buildings.

An elderly man with graying hair and totem patterns painted across his face stood there.

He did not look at Huo Si, nor did he look at Jian Xiu. His cloudy yet sharp eyes stared fixedly at Jian Ning, who was held in Huo Si's arms.

The old man slowly spoke, his voice hoarse, as though it had traveled across time.

"Twenty years... That seed has finally sprouted."

"Child, call out that 'thing' inside you. Let's have a chat."

Jian Ning's heart shook violently.

[That thing? Does he mean the System?!]

[Can this old man see it too?!]

At that moment, the System, which had been playing dead all along, suddenly let out a piercing alarm.

[Warning! Detected Mother signal source!]

[Detected Mother signal source!]

[Attempting connection... Connection successful.]

The next second, the virtual panel before Jian Ning's eyes abruptly changed.

The once-blue interface instantly turned blood-red.

A line of text he had never seen before appeared:

[Welcome home, Number 001.]