"I hadn't even taken my pants off! How was it already over?"
Naruto Uzumaki's eyes snapped open, Tsunade's embarrassed, furious cry from the VR game still echoing in his head.
But a second later, the sight before him left him dumbstruck.
A dark, shabby apartment, a table piled with stinking instant noodle containers, and a cheap, sour stench hanging in the air.
This wasn't the Fifth Hokage's office!
Naruto rushed to the mirror. The young face staring back at him had blond hair, blue eyes, and six whisker marks on its cheeks. He was utterly stunned.
He had become Naruto Uzumaki!
The ultimate Weslie, who did nothing but chase after Sasuke shouting, "Sasuke!"
"Fuck! Hell difficulty right out of the gate!"
Just as Naruto was falling apart, a cold, mechanical voice sounded in his mind.
[Ding! Host's hardware meets requirements and satisfies the core criteria!] [Ninja World: More Children, More Blessings System successfully bound!]
Naruto froze.
A windfall out of nowhere?
Was this some bullshit system that would screw him over?
But on second thought, he couldn't even use ninjutsu yet, and the whole village treated him as the Demon Fox. How much worse could things get?
Whatever. He'd take the freebie first!
Then wild joy swept over him!
As a die-hard, horny Naruto gamer, how could he not know what this was?
This was a transmigrator's blessing!
"System, is there a starter gift pack?"
[Ding! Starter gift pack successfully issued! Congratulations, host, on integrating the "perfect Uzumaki Sage Body"!]
The instant the voice finished, a warm current swept through Naruto's entire body.
He felt filled with inexhaustible strength. His malnourished, scrawny body developed sleek, explosive muscle definition at a speed visible to the naked eye.
More importantly...
Naruto glanced down and sucked in a breath. At last, he fully understood what the system had meant by "hardware meets requirements."
This wasn't merely meeting the requirements. This was off the charts!
"Yes, yes, yes! Even heaven's handing me a meal ticket. I've got this in the bag!"
Naruto put on that hopelessly tacky orange tracksuit, pushed open the door, and headed out.
As he walked through the Hidden Leaf's streets, the villagers' disgusted, contemptuous stares prickled against his back.
"Look, it's that Demon Fox."
"Stay away from him! Don't let his bad luck rub off on you!"
Listening to their grating remarks, Naruto curled his lips into a cold sneer.
So you're shutting me out, huh?
Calling me the Demon Fox?
Just you wait. Before long, your daughters, your wives, and the goddesses you worship will all blush and go weak in the knees when they see me!
Then the whole Hidden Leaf will have to take the name Uzumaki!
With those grand ambitions, Naruto stepped into the Ninja Academy classroom.
He immediately spotted the shy little girl with pale eyes sitting in the corner-Hinata Hyuga.
Following his memories, Naruto walked straight to his seat and sat down.
Not far away, Hinata fiddled with her fingers, once again habitually longing to steal a glance at her beloved Naruto-kun.
To get a clearer look, she unconsciously activated her Kekkei Genkai-the Byakugan!
Her vision changed instantly, granting her a 360-degree view and the ability to see through objects.
Her gaze passed unhindered through Naruto's loose tracksuit...
The next second.
Hinata saw that "terrifying natural endowment," something that belonged neither to someone their age nor even to the realm of normal human beings!
Bzzzt-!
Hinata's little face instantly turned as red as a ripe tomato, and an absurd jet of high-pressure steam even burst from the top of her head.
Her eyes rolled back. Before she could so much as cry out, she made a strangled "Gah!" and fainted stiffly onto her desk.
"Hinata! What's wrong?"
Sakura and Ino's startled cries instantly threw the entire classroom into a commotion.
"What's going on?"
Neji Hyuga, who happened to be passing by, heard the commotion and frowned as he pushed open the classroom door.
A cool voice rang out, and a boy with long black hair, dressed in the attire of the Hyuga Branch Family, appeared in the doorway.
Seeing Hinata unconscious, he furrowed his brow and immediately activated his Byakugan to check whether his younger cousin had been poisoned.
With his Byakugan active, Neji's gaze naturally followed the angle Hinata had been looking at before collapsing and landed on Naruto Uzumaki.
Then he saw it too.
He saw the horrifying sight that instantly shattered his dignity as a man and a Hyuga prodigy!
Neji instinctively glanced down at himself. An indescribable surge of inferiority and jealousy instantly overwhelmed his reason!
Why?!
Why did this Demon Fox, despised by the whole village, this perennial dead last, get to have such enormous assets?!
It wasn't fair!
"Demon Fox! What did you do to Lady Hinata?!"
Neji roared. No longer able to maintain his prodigy's composure, he rushed up to Naruto in a few quick strides and assumed a Gentle Fist stance, making no attempt to hide the murderous intent in his eyes.
The entire class was stunned. For the first time, even Sasuke turned his gaze away from the window and watched with interest.
Naruto slowly stood. He was half a head shorter than Neji, yet his presence completely overwhelmed him.
Looking at the jealousy-addled "genius" before him, he sneered and delivered the most devastating words possible in a voice only the two of them could hear:
"A genius? All I see is a limp dick throwing a helpless tantrum because he can't measure up."
"You!"
Neji's face instantly turned purple. Those words had struck directly at every last shred of his pride!
"I'll kill you!"
He completely lost it, driving a chakra-laced palm straight toward Naruto's chest!
But with his Sage Body, Naruto's reflexes were far beyond those of an ordinary person.
He simply sidestepped with ease, avoiding the ferocious palm strike.
Then he raised his hand.
No flashy ninjutsu, no complicated Taijutsu.
Just a simple slap delivered with blinding speed.
Smack-!
The sharp, resounding slap echoed through the entire classroom.
Time seemed to stand still.
Every student, including the ever-cool Sasuke, stared slack-jawed at the scene before them.
Neji Hyuga, hailed as the Hyuga Clan's once-in-a-century genius, had been sent flying with a single slap by Naruto Uzumaki, the school's universally acknowledged dead last!
Neji spun two and a half times in midair before crashing ignominiously to the floor. Half his face immediately swelled, blood seeped from the corner of his mouth, and his eyes brimmed with humiliation and disbelief.
"Whoa... Since when did Naruto get this strong?"
One background classmate stammered.
"One slap... and Neji just..." Another background classmate rubbed his eyes, convinced he had seen wrong.
Just then, the belated Iruka-sensei rushed into the classroom. The chaos before him instantly gave him a pounding headache.
"Stop! All of you, stop!"
Naruto shook out his slightly numb hand, secretly reveling in his satisfaction.
At that moment, the cold, mechanical voice sounded again.
[Ding! Host has defeated a powerful opponent for the first time, delivered a crushing humiliation, and perfectly established a brand-new image!] [Starter guidance mission officially activated: take first place in the upcoming graduation Taijutsu assessment by overwhelmingly dominating the competition!] [Mission reward: the first three gates of the god-tier Taijutsu-"Eight Gates"!]
Before you continue