Tactical Retreat!

The Copy Ninja's Battle to Defend His Dignity!

One second, Kakashi had been drowning in the despair and self-doubt of being utterly crushed in every way. The next, an icy sensation rose from his waist.

It was a kind of... unbearable lightness of being.

Kakashi: "???"

Stiffly, jerk by jerk, he lowered his head.

The ninja tool pouch that had accompanied him for over a decade, through every corner of the land, through murder and plunder, carrying all his worldly possessions, his life, and his spiritual sustenance... was... gone!

Gone!

A chill more terrifying than being stomped into the ground by Naruto shot from his tailbone straight to the top of his head!

"My pouch!!!"

A shriek so miserable it changed pitch tore through the post-rain silence.

Kakashi whipped around and saw Naruto Uzumaki standing more than ten meters behind him, safely out of reach. In his hand, he was idly tossing Kakashi's familiar, damned ninja tool pouch—the one closer to him than his own father!

And Naruto wore a brilliant, devilish smile that made Kakashi's heart pound in terror.

The true way to strike at someone's heart was never something like Thousand Years of Death. That was far too low-level.

It was to completely destroy a man's faith on a spiritual level!

"Give me back my pouch!"

Kakashi panicked completely. His half-dead fish eyes instantly widened into perfect circles, bloodshot with terror!

Inside... inside were the signed, gold-embossed, limited hardcover editions of Icha Icha Paradise that he had spent three days and three nights lining up to snatch from a black-market scalper!

Yet Naruto merely smiled at him as he slowly pulled open the pouch's zipper.

Unhurriedly, he reached inside and began to feel around.

Under Kakashi's nearly breathless gaze, Naruto finally pulled out two small booklets, carefully wrapped layer upon layer in oil paper.

With a sharp rip, he tore open the oil paper, revealing their gaudy, outrageously suggestive covers.

Naruto held the two booklets up and waved them before Kakashi. The gold letters on their covers glittered under the post-rain sunlight—Make-Out Paradise: Special Care Edition.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said with the smile of a three-hundred-pound demon, "if I used these to wipe my ass, do you think wiping sideways would work better, or vertically? Or... if I set them on fire, would you cry on the spot?"

BOOM!!!

Those few words hit ten thousand times harder than the Water Dragon Bullet just now, exploding directly inside Kakashi's mind!

Wipe... his ass?!

Burn... them?!

Boundless terror and fury erupted like a volcano, but a second before they reached his throat, he forcibly suppressed them.

Kakashi's entire body trembled. His terror-widened eyes suddenly narrowed, and all his panic and misery vanished in an instant, replaced by bone-deep calm and danger.

Slowly, he straightened his mud-covered body. Killing intent, more solid and more sinister than during their battle, gradually spread outward.

This was the true power of an elite jonin. What had happened before was merely playtime among ants.

"Naruto," he said, his voice no longer hoarse but instead incredibly low, like ice beneath an abyss, "put that down. Otherwise... bear the consequences yourself."

Yet faced with killing intent that could scare an ordinary ninja out of their wits, Naruto only chuckled, showing not the slightest fear.

"What, you got beaten so badly you couldn't even fight back just now, but now you've found your fighting spirit over two books?"

He shook the "holy scriptures" in his hand, a teasing curve appearing at his lips. "Then let's make a deal—bells for books. Fair and reasonable."

Kakashi's killing intent faltered.

He fell silent.

For a full three seconds.

During those three seconds, no one could see the expression beneath his mask.

Perhaps his brain was weighing the pros and cons at an unprecedented speed:

On one side was the survival exercise entrusted to him by the Third Hokage, one concerning "teamwork"—along with his duty and dignity as an instructor.

On the other was his happiness for the rest of his life, the only comfort for his lonely soul, the crystallization of art, and his spiritual sustenance!

Was this really such a difficult choice?

Slowly, as if they weighed a thousand tons, Kakashi's hand reached for the two jingling bells at his waist.

He tore off the bells and stiffly extended his arm, wearing a solemn expression that said, "I am not compromising. I am making a tactical retreat."

Deep within the forest.

Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno had completely turned to stone.

Mouths agape and eyes wide, they stared blankly at the surreal scene unfolding in the center of the training ground.

After running at overload, Sasuke's brain CPU finally burned out completely.

Was this really a life-or-death battle between jonin?

Why had the whole vibe suddenly become so sleazy?

So absurd?!

So this was the ultimate form of power?

Not taijutsu, not ninjutsu, but... seizing hold of someone's weakness?

Sasuke felt that Naruto's move had utterly shattered his worldview, then tossed the pieces into a blender and churned them into a sticky lump of paste.

He could not understand it, but he was deeply shaken.

Beside him, Sakura Haruno's little face had gone deathly pale. She covered her mouth, her eyes spinning in circles.

When Naruto had stomped Kakashi-sensei into the ground, she had thought Naruto was a demon god—cool and domineering.

But now... she suddenly felt that Naruto seemed... even more terrifying!

This was some filthy adult game she could not understand at all!

At the center of the training ground, the exchange was underway.

Naruto casually accepted the two bells that represented victory in the exercise, then tossed the two "priceless treasures" to Kakashi as if he were throwing away garbage.

"Awwooo!"

Kakashi let out a restrained cheer and pounced like a starving dog onto food, clutching the two books tightly to his chest.

First, he carefully inspected the covers and found not a single crease. Then he raised them to his nose and deeply inhaled their familiar scent of printer's ink. Finally, as if he had recovered a priceless treasure, he pressed them against his face and rubbed them again and again, wearing a blissfully warped, perverted smile.

Integrity?

Dignity?

What were those?

Could they compare to the scent of little nurses?

[Ding! It has been detected that the host used absolute wis(wit)dom and strat(cheap)egy to forcefully shatter all the swagger of the Copy Ninja, Kakashi Hatake, reducing his dignity to dust. Successful show-off!]

[Reward: S-rank ninjutsu—Rasengan!]

[Rasengan: No Shadow Clone assistance required; can be cast instantly with one hand. Its power, form, stability, and chakra consumption have all been optimized to the utmost! It can incorporate chakra nature transformations of any attribute!]

The delightful notification ringing in his mind made Naruto's smile widen further.

Watching Kakashi's vacant, broken-looking expression, Naruto curled his lip.

That was it?

The Copy Ninja?

What a bore.

He played with the two bells in his hand, their metal clinking crisply together, then slowly turned his gaze toward the forest that had been silent for so long.

"Had enough of watching?"

Naruto's cold voice, tinged with impatience, exploded beside Sasuke and Sakura's ears like thunder.

"Come out, you two weaklings."