Speedrunning the Holy Grail War Plan

Lin Xiao looked at the wall clock; it was one o'clock in the morning. "I propose that we simply work overtime tonight and finish this Holy Grail War in a single night. How does that sound?"

"...Huh?!" Rin Tohsaka's just-settled nerves spiked right back up. "Do you think this is a clearance sale at the supermarket?! That's a battle to the death between seven mythological heroes!"

"Is there any difference?" Lin Xiao spread his hands innocently, preparing to continue expounding on his "speedrun theory."

At that moment, Saber's and Red A's gazes sharpened in unison, turning as one toward the outside of the Emiya Residence courtyard.

"Master, look out! There is an extremely massive and violent magical energy approaching!" Saber instantly entered combat mode, holding her invisible sword horizontally in front of her and shielding Shirou behind her.

Outside the gates of the Emiya House, a sweet, childish voice rang out.

"Good evening, Big Brother. Since you never came out, Illya just came to find you herself."

Everyone rushed out into the courtyard. Standing atop the perimeter wall was an exquisite little girl wearing a purple Western-style dress, with snow-white long hair and ruby-red eyes.

And standing behind her was a terrifying giant nearly three meters tall, radiating violent black aura all over his body!

"That's... someone from the Einzbern Household?" Rin Tohsaka treated it as a formidable enemy. "They actually summoned a great hero from Greek mythology... With this kind of pressure, we're in big trouble!"

Saber gripped her hilt even tighter, for she could sense that the Berserker before her had absurdly high stat values.

"Big Brother, your Servants seem a little numerous."

Illya sat on the top of the wall, dangling her legs with an innocent yet cruel smile. "It doesn't matter, though. Berserker will crush them all. Don't worry, Illya will make you die without any pain."

Just as the atmosphere grew tense to the snapping point.

"Clap, clap." Lin Xiao stepped past Saber, patted his hands nonchalantly, and looked up at Illya on the wall.

"Little girl of the Einzbern Household, right? Since we were planning to go find the Masters one by one anyway, you dropping by like this counts as delivery to our door."

Lin Xiao pointed back at the living room, his tone sounding like he was greeting a unruly neighborhood kid. "Listen, we're holding a pre-battle meeting.

I'll give you a chance: climb down from the wall right now and join our team. There's still some leftover hamburger steak inside; Shirou can heat it up for you to eat."

As soon as those words came out, not only was Illya stunned, but even Rin Tohsaka drew in a sharp breath. Good grief! The opponent brought a Greek demigod, you know! You're trying to recruit them with leftovers?!

"Are you... making a fool of me?"

The smile on Illya's face vanished instantly, and a furious murderous intent ignited within her ruby-red eyes. "A mere unknown Servant dares to be so insolent to the Einzberns! Berserker, kill him!"

"Roar--!!!" Receiving the order from her Master, the Berserker Heracles let out a roar that shattered glass!

His mountain-like body leaped up fiercely, and the huge stone axe in his hand slashed straight down at Lin Xiao's head!

Yet facing the full-strength blow of the strongest demigod in Greek mythology, Lin Xiao didn't retreat even a single step.

"Such a disobedient brat, I still have to use physical methods to reason with you."

Lin Xiao sighed, and then dazzling red auras instantly lit up in his eyes.

"Transform."

Hum--! Accompanied by a blinding red pillar of light shooting into the sky, Lin Xiao appeared right where he stood in his two-meter-tall Gaia Ultraman: Human-sized Form!

He didn't use any beam skills; he simply clenched his right hand into a fist, then threw a punch straight into the massive stone axe descending from Heracles's slash!

Rumble-rumble-rumble!!!!!

The fist and the giant weapon collided mid-air.

In everyone's horrified gazes, the unbreakable giant stone axe of Heracles shattered inch by inch the moment it touched Gaia's fist!

Immediately after, Gaia's fist retained its momentum and slammed fiercely into the Greek demigod's chest!

"Splitch--!!!"

A scalp-numbing, muffled thud echoed out. The three-meter-tall Berserker couldn't even emit a scream before his upper body directly exploded into a sky-full blood mist under the terrifying kinetic energy of that punch!!

Blood rained down, and the huge remains collapsed heavily to the ground.

The entire courtyard of the Emiya Household fell into a dead silence.

"..."

Rin Tohsaka dropped her jaw, forgetting even to breathe. The invisible sword in Saber's hand almost fell to the ground, the King of Knights' worldview collapsing instantly in this moment.

Red A closed his eyes, silently offering incense to the other Heroic Spirits in advance inside his heart.

"Berserker... was... was punched to death?" Illya sat on the top of the wall, staring blankly at the Berserker who had turned into a blood mist. Her entire body was trembling violently, tears swirling in her eye sockets.

That was Heracles! He hadn't even lasted a single second before a punch directly wiped out one of his lives?!

The light dissipated, and Lin Xiao cancelled his transformation, looking up at Illya who was scared out of her wits on the wall.

"He seems to still have that resurrection mechanism of coming back from the dead? Called Twelve Labors, right?" Lin Ye smiled.

"It's fine, you can let him stand up. Every time he resurrects, I'll beat him into a blood mist once. I just happened to eat my fill and want to digest my food, beating him twelve times should be about right."

Looking at the Berserker on the ground who was slowly writhing and barely reassembling his body, and then looking at the understated monster below.

Illya swallowed hard, her small body trembling like a fallen leaf in an autumn wind.

"I... I'll join..." Illya shouted, almost with a crying voice. "Don't hit Berserker anymore... We'll cooperate, wuwuwu..."

Ten minutes later.

In front of the low table in the living room.

Illya sat obediently on the tatami mat like a wronged punching bag, holding a bowl of miso soup Shirou had just heated up with both hands, sipping it in small sips.

As for that arrogant and overbearing Berserker, he was currently squatting extremely aggrievedly in the corner of the courtyard.

Lin Xiao patted his hands in satisfaction. "This is more like it. Everyone sitting down to have a meal together is so harmonious."

He glanced around at everyone in the room: Rin Tohsaka, Red A, Saber, Shirou, and the newly joined Illya. "Since everyone is present, I now officially announce our action policy for tonight."

Lin Xiao stood up and waved his large hand. "Starting today, forget about all those scheming Holy Grail Wars—they're all cancelled for me! Next, we'll go knocking on the other Masters' doors one by one, and persuade them to give up the Holy Grail using physical methods."

"I am going to forcefully beat this tragic worldline into Today's Menu for the Emiya Family!"

"Shirou, your task is to plan out the menus every day. As for fighting, I'll handle all of it by myself!"

Facing this win-win situation, Saber looked at Illya drinking soup across from her, a trace of complexity flashing in her eyes.

She recognized that this was the daughter of Irisviel and Kiritsugu Emiya; back during the Fourth Holy Grail War, she had even held her.

Out of knightly etiquette and concern for the daughter of an old acquaintance, Saber tidied her clothes, revealed a gentle smile, and took the initiative to walk up to Illya.

"Long time no see, Illyasviel." Saber bowed slightly, her tone sincere. "I'm very glad to see you grow up safe and sound, and I'm also very glad we can become companions now."

Yet, facing Saber's well-intentioned greeting.

"..." Illya's soup-drinking motion paused.

She raised those ruby-red eyes, casting a cold glance at Saber.

Although she was currently very terrified of the Lin Xiao who had blown up Berserker with a single punch, that didn't mean she would forgive this "traitress" of a Servant.

"Hmph." Illya let out an extremely haughty cold snort, turned her head away directly, and even intentionally shifted her butt, turning her back to Saber to continue drinking her own soup.

"..." The Spiky-Hair King, maintaining her smiling greeting posture, froze right in place. The hair-spike atop her head drooped limply, making her look weak, pitiful, and helpless.

"Pfft--" Rin Tohsaka, seeing this scene, couldn't hold it in and covered her mouth as she laughed out loud.

The one-day speedrun of the Holy Grail War, the Today's Menu for the Emiya Family plan, officially launched!