In the Group Chat: I'm Really Not a God
Chapter 17

Only Two Left

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Fuyuki City, before the long staircase leading to Ryuudou Temple.

Medea, the mage from the Age of Gods known as "C-Mom," stood before the temple gates, trembling all over.

Beside her, Sasaki Kojirou, who had originally been tasked with guarding the gate, was now sitting without a shred of dignity on the steps, holding a can of cola.

Just one minute ago, that ridiculous "Water Meter Inspection Squad" had arrived at the foot of the stairs.

Kojirou had wanted to draw his sword and do his duty, but the casually dressed young man at the head of the group casually tossed him a can of cola and said, "Have a drink and take a break. Are they paying you that much? Why risk your life?"

Then, the young man released a trace of his aura. Just a trace, and Kojirou decisively sheathed his sword and popped open the can of cola.

You've got to be kidding. How the hell was I supposed to fight that thing?

Thus, C-Mom was forced to face the greatest nightmare of her life.

"Y-you... don't come any closer!" Medea let out a hysterical scream as Lin Xiao climbed the stairs step by step. As a mage from the Age of Gods, the barrier she had set up around Ryuudou Temple was supposedly strong enough to stop even Saber.

But just now!

When that man had stepped onto the stairs, the defensive magic circles she had been so proud of had not even been qualified to touch him. The moment he came within five meters, every magical formula was swallowed like by a black hole, instantly reduced to nothingness!

Absolute "magic immunity"! No, it was "mana suppression" at the level of rules!

"Divine Words: Rain of Light!" With nowhere left to retreat, Medea gritted her teeth and unleashed her highest-level A-rank magecraft! Light-colored mana bullets filled the sky and blasted toward Lin Ye like a violent storm!

Boom, boom, boom, boom—! Violent explosions erupted around Lin Xiao, smoke and dust billowing everywhere.

"Did it work?" Medea panted heavily.

The smoke cleared. Lin Ye brushed the dust from his shoulder, and not even a strand of his hair was out of place.

"The effects were pretty flashy, but the scraping technique was a little crude. It lacked impact." Lin Xiao gave his fair assessment, then strode over to Medea, who had collapsed to the ground in terror, and looked down at her.

This witch who had betrayed everything in myth now looked like a helpless child. "I just... I just wanted to live together with Lord Souichirou..."

She did not want to seize the Holy Grail. She was simply hopelessly lovestruck and wanted to live peacefully in this city with Kuzuki Souichirou, her expressionless teacher.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you."

Lin Xiao reached out and lightly flicked Medea's smooth forehead.

"Ow!" C-Mom covered her forehead and looked at Lin Ye with teary eyes.

"You like that teacher? You want to live an ordinary housewife's life, right? Since you don't want to fight, stop draining the mana of Fuyuki City's citizens starting tomorrow. That Kuzuki guy can keep teaching at the school."

"As for you, Medea. Since you want to be a housewife, report to the Emiya Household every noon starting tomorrow and work on recipes with Shirou. If there's anything tasty from Greece, remember to make extra portions and bring them over."

"Huh?" Medea covered her forehead, completely dumbfounded.

He was not going to kill her? She could even continue living with Lord Souichirou? And the price was just... learning how to cook?!

"Did you understand, Caster?" Lin Xiao raised an eyebrow.

"I understand, I understand!" Medea said excitedly. "You are a god even more merciful than Athena! I'll go cook at the Emiya Household tomorrow! Greek barbecue is my specialty!"

At the foot of the stairs, Emiya Shirou, Rin Tohsaka, Red A, Saber, and Sakura watched the Holy Grail War get completely transformed into a "cooking exchange event" and collectively stood there in stunned silence.

"Overnight, Rider became a maid, and Caster became a cook..." Rin Tohsaka covered her face in despair. "What kind of comedy variety show is the Holy Grail War that the Tohsaka Household has pursued for generations?"

Lin Xiao turned around to face the darkest sky before dawn over Fuyuki City and clapped his hands.

"Okay, the small fry have all been dealt with. Only the last two tough ones remain."

"That fake priest hiding in the church and muttering about 'pleasure' every day. And that golden nouveau riche who likes standing on streetlights."

A dangerous red gleam flashed in Lin Xiao's eyes. "Let's go. It's time to give this speedrun a perfect ending."

The church.

This sacred place, which should have been solemn and dignified, now carried a nauseating stench of blood and coldness.

"Click, click..." Crisp footsteps shattered the church's deathly silence.

Lin Xiao led the massive "Water Meter Inspection Squad" through the heavy wooden doors and into the chapel.

Kirei Kotomine, dressed in black priestly robes, slowly turned around.

Looking at the Servants and Masters who should have been killing one another but were now bizarrely harmonious, a rare flicker of surprise crossed his ever-expressionless face.

"It seems the feast of pleasure has undergone a deviation that I cannot comprehend."

"Enough with the 'pleasure' nonsense, Mapo Priest."

Lin Ye rudely cut off Kirei Kotomine's pre-casting spiel, casually pulled over a pew, and sat down. "The orphans you hid in the basement have already been rescued by Rin and Shirou on their way here. As for your heart..."

Lin Ye's gaze pierced through Kirei's chest. Looking at that false organ made of black mud, he sneered. "It's just a disgusting clump of sludge. Do you really think you're some deep, brooding villain?"

With all his cards and secrets exposed in a single breath, the emptiness in Kirei Kotomine's eyes finally changed. "You... who are you?"

"Insolence! Who gave a mongrel like you permission to spout such nonsense here?!"

Just then, accompanied by an incredibly arrogant, overbearing voice, countless golden particles gathered in midair and formed into a man clad in dazzling golden armor, with brilliant blond hair and scarlet eyes.

He did not land. Instead, he stood brazenly atop the tall cross above the altar, looking down at everyone below.

"Hero King, Gilgamesh!" Saber clenched her teeth, anger flashing in her eyes. During the Fourth Holy Grail War, this man had constantly harassed her.

"Oh? Isn't this Saber? Along with a bunch of revolting trash."

Gilgamesh fixed his gaze on Lin Ye, his scarlet eyes brimming with savage killing intent. "Especially you. Some nameless nobody who crawled out of a sewer, daring to ruin my royal garden. Even death ten thousand times over would not atone for your crime!"

Hummm—! With Gilgamesh's roar, golden ripples instantly spread across the void behind him.

[Gate of Babylon] opened wide!

Hundreds upon thousands of Noble Phantasm prototypes radiating terrifying pressure emerged from the golden ripples, all aimed at Lin Xiao!

"Die, mongrel!"

End of Chapter
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