I Really Am a Piece of Work

As Lu Xingchuan stepped forward, he said, "I know what President Pei is worried about. This is a female corpse, and I'm a man. But the audience knows the corpse is just a plastic mannequin in disguise, not a real person. It's fine."

"Shan Shan is a girl. It's better if I handle something like searching a corpse."

He didn't want people saying he was putting on airs after joining the show and refusing to do any work.

Thanks to Shen Yan earlier, he and Xie Li had already lost a lot of goodwill from viewers.

His manager had specifically called him and repeatedly reminded him to perform well.

After saying that, Lu Xingchuan stepped forward, ready to get to work—

My ass!

Before Lu Xingchuan's hand could touch the corpse—

Blegh—

His face turned green, and a dry heave surged up his throat. He nearly threw up on the spot.

"Th-this, this, this..."

Lu Xingchuan covered his mouth and rapidly retreated several steps. With a bang, his lower back hit the table.

The camera moved in for a close-up.

[Holy shit!]

[Production team, I'm going to kill you!]

[Fuck!]

Behind the flood of cursing comments was a dense mass of tiny bugs.

White maggots.

They were wriggling through the corpse's wounds, inching along one after another.

The corpse was fake.

But the maggots were real.

Lu Xingchuan's scalp went numb, then his whole body went numb. It felt as though the maggots were crawling all over him. His face was still green—

As he watched Song Qianshan walk forward expressionlessly.

She felt around the corpse from top to bottom and found a key.

Lu Xingchuan: ...

[...]

[Does Lu Xingchuan's face hurt?]

[Shan Shan is a girl. It's better if I handle something like searching a corpse.]

[Can't men be scared of maggots? I'm a man, and I'm terrified of those dense clusters of squishy bugs too. Why are you being so sarcastic?]

[Good thing: I'll do it. How can I make a girl do it! Bad thing: Can't men be scared?]

After getting the key, the three of them left the room again and headed across the hall.

"I just didn't react in time and got grossed out for a second. Shan Shan, you moved too fast. If I'd just taken a moment to recover, I could've searched it myself." Realizing belatedly that he had embarrassed himself, Lu Xingchuan tried to explain.

However, Song Qianshan merely smiled.

She ignored him.

Since she didn't respond, Lu Xingchuan couldn't really continue.

He could only trail along beside her awkwardly.

He wondered if he had offended Song Qianshan at some point.

During their previous collaboration, Song Qianshan had been very respectful toward him, calling him Teacher Lu.

Why was she acting like this now?

She had already been unfriendly yesterday, and today she was even less polite.

Song Qianshan took the key and went to unlock the door.

Pei Heng stopped her. "The key's too slow. I'll do it!"

Song Qianshan looked puzzled, but she didn't ask further. She took a step back and saw—

Pei Heng raised the axe and brought it down.

Crack!

With one swing of the axe in his hand, he split the lock open.

[...]

[The key is too slow? So he chopped it open with an axe?]

Lu Xingchuan jumped in fright and hurriedly said, "Didn't the director say we weren't allowed to damage the props?"

Pei Heng pulled off the shattered lock and pushed the door open as he walked inside. "I didn't damage it. One prop damaged another prop."

[That actually makes sense!]

[Axe: So it's my fault?]

[Hahahahaha!]

[Did big sister push big sister?]

[Huh? Why didn't the director come out to yell at him?]

Lu Xingchuan wanted to say more, but Pei Heng and Song Qianshan had already entered the room.

A cold wind seemed to blow behind him. Since the director hadn't appeared to say anything either, he could only shut up and hurry inside after them.

The room was pitch-black, with only a little light from the courtyard filtering in.

By the window, the shadow was still crying mournfully, chilling everyone to the bone.

The window was smeared with a large patch of blood.

Click—

Suddenly.

The lights in the dark room switched on, instantly making it bright as day.

At the exact moment the lights came on, the shadow that had been sitting by the window rushed toward them, bringing a gust of cold wind with it.

A red top, a green skirt.

Its eyeballs bulged outward, with blood constantly streaming from its eyes.

Blood also dripped from its three-inch-long nails.

The instant it charged at them without warning.

Lu Xingchuan screamed, "Mom!"

Before his scream could even continue, Pei Heng grabbed the female ghost by the arm and dragged her onto the nearby table.

The female ghost was startled and blurted out in panic, "Fuck, what are you doing?!"

[Hahahahaha!]

[I never saw this coming!]

[Neither did the female ghost!]

[But judging by the voice, it sounds like a man.]

Pei Heng grabbed the female ghost's arm, stood on the table, and began shaking her wildly.

Verb: shake a person.

By the time he had nearly shaken the fake eyeballs off her face—

Clang.

A key fell from the female ghost.

Satisfied, Pei Heng released the female ghost, jumped down from the table, picked up the key, and headed outside.

The female ghost was dizzy, nauseated, and completely bewildered. She swayed on the table, stumbling from side to side.

Song Qianshan caught up to him. "That's it?"

Pei Heng said, "Three people were captured. There are three dead people here. We found all three keys. What else could there be?"

"That makes sense."

Song Qianshan nodded in agreement and immediately followed Pei Heng.

Lu Xingchuan stood frozen in place with his eyes wide for a moment before turning and chasing after them. "President Pei, you really... You nearly shook that ghost sick. It was still a person acting the role."

Pei Heng said with complete sincerity, "I really am a piece of work! Right, Director?"

"You really are a piece of work!"

As soon as Pei Heng finished speaking.

The director's furious roar came from behind them.

Lu Xingchuan turned around with a shocked expression.

The female ghost had already removed her wig.

Revealing the director's furious face!

[Hahahahahahahaha!]

[I knew the voice sounded like a man, but I never expected it to be the director!]

[The Director's Transformation Diary confirmed!]

Amid the barrage of laughter, the director climbed down from the table, dizzy and nauseated, and glared angrily at Pei Heng. "How did you know it was me?"

Pei Heng glanced at the slippers on the director's feet.

Director: ...

[Hahahahaha!]

[The director's pink flip-flops exposed his identity.]

[But seriously, why was the director pretending to be a female ghost here? I don't get it.]

[I came from the split-screen feed. Hahahaha, Shen Yan tied up the NPC pretending to be the female ghost, so they were short-handed. The director had no choice but to fill in himself!]

[Going to watch the split-screen feed now!]

Split-screen feed.

In the backmost courtyard of the residence.

The NPC Ghost King, wearing a red dress and a white-painted face, ran wildly around the courtyard. "Stop chasing me! Please, stop chasing me!"

Behind him.

Shen Yan was on the left and Bai Jing was on the right, each holding a rope. They let out sinister cackles from their throats as they kept running.

"I'm coming to catch you~"

By the wall.

Seven female ghosts were tied together with rope, trembling in fear.

[Hahahahaha!]

[For a moment, I can't tell who's the ghost and who's the human!]

[Playing ghost tag in the morning, human-catching-ghost in the afternoon. Nothing wrong with that!]

Xie Li stood to the side and earnestly tried to persuade him. "Shen Yan, what you're doing is wrong. We can't break the rules of the game. If you do this, how is the show supposed to continue filming?

"After we get caught, can't we just wait peacefully for Brother Xingchuan and President Pei to come save us?

"Don't do this. Stop already!"

While chasing the Ghost King, Shen Yan said, "Relying on yourself is better than relying on others. Besides, Lu Xingchuan is useless!"

Crack!

The lock on the tightly shut gate was split open with an axe.

The moment Lu Xingchuan entered, he heard—

Lu Xingchuan is useless!

His face immediately darkened. "How am I useless? Aren't I here?"

Pei Heng said lightly, "But you don't have a key. I have two."