Chapter Forty-Five
"Squatting here like a mushroom, getting in the way." The newcomer was pushing a cart and carrying quite a bit in his hands. The goods smacked the squatting Li Wenchuan squarely. Not only did the man fail to apologize, he kept yammering, "Are you blind? Don't you know to move aside?"
After spending so many days in the countryside, surrounded by kind uncles and aunties, grandpas and grandmas, Jiang Hansheng had never encountered anyone so shameless.
Jiang Hansheng could not hold back any longer. "Since you saw someone here, why did you still come this way? Did your eyes fall onto the ground? Don't you know to go around?"
The man had never been talked back to like this. He was always the one throwing his weight around. When had anyone ever had the chance to fight back?
He straightened his things, dropped the goods in his hands to the ground, and immediately opened fire. "Hey, hey, hey! Why is your mouth so foul, kid? Didn't your parents raise you right? Don't you know how to respect people?"
Li Wenchuan stood up with Coo Coo in his arms. How many years had it been? How many years! It had been so long since he had encountered such a troublesome commoner.
As everyone knew, Great Qing's ministers had two nightmares that lingered in their hearts and could never be dispelled—the kind that made them roll out of bed and kneel whenever they dreamed of them: the Qingming Emperor Li Yao, and Duke Zhongsu Jiang Yan.
Especially when those two joined forces. Their perfectly coordinated back-and-forth left the entire court with their mouths open and no chance to perform. Even the calmest hearts would rise and fall wildly. Those who could not withstand it either fainted on the spot or met with disaster. Those who did endure eventually obediently picked a side and learned what it meant to keep their mouths shut.
So Li Wenchuan could not hold back either. "Are you in such a hurry for me to go home and plant loquat trees for you? I've never seen anyone so shamelessly barging through a market before."
The others whom the man had shoved aside had originally decided to swallow their anger, merely rubbing where they had been bumped and muttering "What bad luck" to themselves. But now someone had taken the lead, and they immediately gathered together to list the man's faults.
"You look perfectly human, but you can't speak like one. You're like a crab."
"There are elderly people here too. What if you knock one over? Will you take responsibility?"
"You look decent enough, but on closer inspection, you're worse than a pig or a dog."
"You've got the nerve to criticize others? I saw you hit this young man pretty hard just now. Aren't you going to apologize?"
There was strength in numbers, and the people's eyes were bright as blood. Those were already the polite remarks. Some people brought out local dialects passed down through the ages and launched an attack like pea shooters.
Li Wenchuan and Jiang Hansheng could not understand them, but judging from the rising and falling tones, they were probably not repeating themselves.
Experts. These were true experts.
The man was surrounded and unable to get away, yet he was still very curious. What did "plant loquat trees" mean? He considered himself quite cultured for someone in this line of work, yet today he had entered a blind spot in his knowledge.
Having successfully stirred up public opinion, the two said nothing more. They were both public figures, after all. A little went a long way.
These days, if a celebrity spoke sharply now and then, it was called being straightforward. But if they said too much, it became having a foul mouth. Public opinion could turn at any moment.
"Make way, everyone, make way. Sorry about this." A younger man struggled through the crowd, bravely advancing toward the center of the uproar. "Sorry, everyone, please make way."
After finally reaching the man, he wiped away his sweat. The summer sun was blazing, and squeezing in from the edge of the crowd had worked up quite a sweat. Besides, he was wearing a suit and tie. The clothes were not breathable, and the collar was strangling his neck, forcing him to loosen it with his hand and take several deep breaths.
He braced his hands on his thighs and bent over. Once he felt better, he straightened up and raised a hand to signal for quiet. "Sorry, everyone. My buddy here doesn't know how to talk. He's a little slow and can't speak properly. I apologize to all of you on his behalf!"
"This young man seems pretty decent."
"It's fine as long as he apologized. How can anyone be so unreasonable?"
"Exactly. Forget it, I'm leaving. Be more careful next time."
The young man smiled apologetically as the crowd gradually dispersed. The market returned to its previous orderly bustle. The vendors stopped watching the spectacle and resumed their business properly.
He looked at Li Wenchuan and Jiang Hansheng, who were still there, and approached with a smile. Taking a pack of Zhonghua from his suit pocket, he pulled out two cigarettes and offered them over. "I'm really sorry. Sorry, sorry. We caused you trouble."
Li Wenchuan understood the principle that one did not slap a smiling face. He raised a hand to refuse. "I don't smoke. Thanks."
Only then did the young man take note of Li Wenchuan's face. In all his life, he had never seen anyone so strikingly handsome. Good lord, if he had a face like that, would he still have to worry about not selling his goods? They would be sold out in minutes.
He offered one to Jiang Hansheng as well, only to be refused again. Seeing one handsome guy and then another, the young man had no temper left. He put the cigarettes away, his smile unchanged. "Are you two here to do business too? My name is Wang Qiao, and that's my buddy Wu Chen. Sorry for bumping into you just now. I'll apologize for him. He doesn't know how to talk properly."
This was not the first time Wang Qiao had cleaned up after Wu Chen, so he was already quite practiced at it. Still, he felt somewhat irritated. Things had gone badly from the moment they opened up today, and he had the feeling that something worse was waiting ahead. But he did not show it. He directed Wu Chen to move the goods over a little, nodded to the two good-looking men beside them, and went back to his work.
"This Wang Qiao is interesting." Though young, he handled things as slickly as an old hand, while the older one had to listen to his commands.
Li Wenchuan frowned. "He doesn't look like an ordinary street vendor." Who wore a suit while running a stall in this blazing heat?
The two of them were both in shorts and short-sleeved shirts, looking every bit like fresh summer boys.
Over there, Wu Chen was arranging the goods. When he saw Wang Qiao turn around with his face instantly darkening, he knew he had done something wrong again and could not help shrinking back. "I didn't do it on purpose..." Who knew those two would be so good at stirring things up? A whole crowd had surrounded him.
"How many times have I told you? Be pleasant and stay calm. Every time, you just blurt things out without thinking. If something happens one day, sooner or later you'll be ruined by that mouth of yours!" Wang Qiao hissed in a low voice.
If he did not need someone to work with him, and if Wu Chen were not so obedient, he would never have put up with him for this long.
Every day, all he did was play peacemaker. What rotten luck!
Wu Chen scratched his head. His suit did not fit very well, and raising his arm made the flesh beneath it bunch up even more awkwardly. "But I'm curious. What does that line, 'I'll go home tonight and plant loquat trees for you,' actually mean?"
He had heard someone laugh when that was said, laughing because of that line, but he simply could not figure it out.
Wang Qiao was the most educated person here. He had graduated middle school, after all. Maybe he knew.
Wang Qiao was already seething. "It means—he's your dad, and he's going to pay respects at your mom's grave!"
Wu Chen was truly stupid and simple-minded, just a complete fool. He was driving Wang Qiao crazy all day long!
Fortunately, nothing else happened afterward. The two began setting up a huge sunshade, propping up folding tables, and arranging their goods in order.
The auntie who had visited Li Wenchuan's stall earlier had not left. She had even gotten to witness a bit of gossip. After watching for a while and finding it boring, she turned back to look at the chicken in Li Wenchuan's hands.
"Young man, it really isn't for sale?" What a pity. It looked so meaty; it would surely smell delicious once cooked.
"Not for sale," Li Wenchuan refused. "I raised this chicken specially. If you don't believe me, I'll show you."
He put Coo Coo on the ground and ordered, "Raise your wing."
The auntie watched as the hen actually stretched out one wing and slowly placed it on Li Wenchuan's open palm.
"Put it back. Raise your foot."
Coo Coo performed a one-legged stance, a true golden rooster standing on one leg in every sense of the phrase.
The auntie stared, dumbfounded. "Holy crap, that's amazing..." This chicken was even more obedient and clever than her own dog.
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