When a Slacker Runs Into Trouble

Chapter Forty-Five

"Squatting here like a mushroom? You're in the way." The newcomer pushed a cart while carrying quite a few things in his hands. The goods gave the squatting Li Wenchuan a solid whack. Not only did he fail to apologize, he kept rattling on. "Are you blind? Don't you know to move aside?"

After so many days in the countryside, everyone they had met had been kindly uncles and aunts, grandpas and grandmas. When had they ever encountered someone so shameless?

Jiang Hansheng could not hold back anymore. "Since you saw someone here, why did you still come over? Did your eyes fall onto the ground? Don't you know to go around?"

The man had never been snapped at like that before. He had always been the one throwing his weight around. When had anyone ever had the chance to fight back?

He straightened his things, dropped the goods in his hands onto the ground, and immediately opened fire. "Hey, hey, hey! Why is your mouth so filthy, kid? Didn't your parents raise you properly? Don't you know how to respect people?"

Li Wenchuan stood up with Coo Coo in his arms. How many years had it been? How many years? He had not run into this kind of troublesome commoner in a long time.

As everyone knew, Great Qing officials had two nightmares lodged in their hearts, the kind that would make them roll out of bed and kneel in their sleep—Qingming Emperor Li Yao and Duke Zhong Su, Jiang Yan.

Especially when those two joined forces. Their back-and-forth would leave the entire court with their mouths open and no chance to perform. Even the calmest hearts would be thrown into turmoil. Those who could not withstand it either fainted on the spot or met with disaster. Those who did endure eventually obediently picked a side and learned what it meant to keep their mouths shut.

So Li Wenchuan could not hold back either. "Are you in such a hurry for me to go home and plant loquat trees for you? This is the first time I've seen someone barging around a market so brazenly and shamelessly."

The others whom the man had shoved aside had originally decided to swallow their anger, merely rubbing the places where they had been hit and muttering, "Bad luck." But now someone had stepped up for them. They immediately gathered together and began criticizing the man.

"Can't you speak properly? You're scuttling around like a crab."

"There are elderly people here too. What if you knock one over? Will you take responsibility?"

"You look decent enough, but on closer inspection, you're worse than a pig or a dog."

"You've got the nerve to talk about others? I saw you hit this young man pretty hard just now. Aren't you going to apologize?"

There was strength in numbers, and the public had sharp eyes. Those were only the nicer remarks. Some people even brought out long-circulating local dialects and launched a barrage like pea shooters.

Li Wenchuan and Jiang Hansheng could not understand them, but judging from the rising and falling tones, there did not seem to be any repetition.

Experts. These were true experts.

The man was surrounded for the moment and could not get away, but he was still very curious. What did "plant loquat trees" mean? He had thought himself quite cultured for someone in this line of work, yet today he had stumbled into a knowledge blind spot.

Having successfully swayed public opinion, the two said no more. After all, they were public figures. It was enough to make their point.

These days, if you were a celebrity, speaking sharply once in a while was called being straightforward. Say too much, and people would call you foul-mouthed. Public opinion could turn at any time.

"Make way, everyone, make way. Sorry about this." A younger man struggled through the crowd, valiantly advancing toward the center of the commotion. "Sorry, everyone, please make way."

After finally reaching the man, he wiped away his sweat. The summer sun was high, and squeezing in bit by bit from the edge of the crowd had left him drenched. Besides, he was wearing a suit and tie. The clothes were not breathable, and the collar was tight around his neck, so he had no choice but to tug it loose and take a few deep breaths.

He braced both hands on his thighs and bent over. Once he felt better, he straightened up and raised a hand for quiet. "Sorry, everyone. My brother doesn't know how to talk properly. He's a little slow and doesn't know how to speak. I apologize to all of you on his behalf!"

"This young man isn't bad."

"As long as he apologized, it's fine. How can anyone be so unreasonable?"

"Exactly. Forget it, I'm leaving. Be more careful next time."

The young man kept smiling apologetically. The crowd gradually dispersed, and the market returned to its previous busy yet orderly state. The vendors stopped watching the excitement and went back to their business properly.

He looked toward Li Wenchuan and Jiang Hansheng, who were still there, and approached them with a smile. He pulled out a pack of Zhonghua from his suit pocket, took out two cigarettes, and offered them over. "I'm truly sorry. Sorry, sorry. We caused you trouble."

Li Wenchuan understood the principle that one did not hit a smiling face. He raised a hand to decline. "I don't smoke. Thank you."

Only then did the young man notice Li Wenchuan's face. In all his life, he had never seen anyone so striking. Good lord—if he had a face like that, would he have to worry about not being able to sell his goods? They would sell out in minutes.

He offered one to Jiang Hansheng too, only to be refused again. Seeing one handsome guy and then another, the young man had no temper left at all. He put the cigarettes away, his smile unchanged. "Are you two here to do business too? My name is Wang Qiao, and that's my brother Wu Chen. Sorry for the collision earlier. I'll apologize on his behalf. He really doesn't know how to speak properly."

It was not the first time Wang Qiao had cleaned up Wu Chen's mess, and he had become quite adept at it. Still, he felt somewhat annoyed. Things had gone badly the moment they opened for business today, and he had the nagging feeling that something worse was waiting ahead. But he did not show it. He directed Wu Chen to move the goods over a little, nodded at the two good-looking men beside them, then went back to his own work.

"This Wang Qiao is kind of interesting." Though young, he handled things as smoothly as an old hand, while the older one had to listen to his commands.

Li Wenchuan frowned. "He doesn't look like an ordinary stall owner." Who wore a suit while running a stall in this scorching weather?

The two of them were both in T-shirts and shorts, looking every bit like fresh summer boys.

Over there, Wu Chen was arranging the goods. When he saw Wang Qiao turn around and his expression instantly darken, he knew he had messed up again and could not help feeling guilty. "I didn't do it on purpose..." How was he supposed to know those two would be so good at stirring things up? A whole crowd had surrounded him.

"How many times have I told you? Be pleasant and keep calm. Every time, you just blurt things out without thinking. If something happens one day, it'll be that mouth of yours that ruins you sooner or later!" Wang Qiao hissed viciously.

If he did not need someone to work with him, and if this Wu Chen were not obedient, he would never have put up with him for so long.

Every day, all he did was play peacemaker. What rotten luck!

Wu Chen scratched his head. His suit did not fit very well, and when he raised an arm, the squeezed flesh made him look even more awkward. "But I'm curious. What does that line, 'I'll go home tonight and plant loquat trees for you,' actually mean?"

At the time, he had heard someone laugh out loud because of that sentence, but he simply could not figure it out.

Wang Qiao was the most educated person around. He had even finished middle school. Maybe he knew.

Wang Qiao was so angry he nearly exploded. "What he meant was—he's your father, and he's going to offer incense to your mother!"

Wu Chen was truly dumb as a post, just a complete fool. He annoyed Wang Qiao to death all day long!

Fortunately, nothing else happened afterward. The two began setting up a huge sun umbrella, propped up folding tables, and arranged the goods in order.

The auntie who had patronized Li Wenchuan's stall earlier had not left either. She had even gotten to watch some juicy gossip. After watching for a while and finding it boring, she turned back to look at the chicken in Li Wenchuan's hands.

"Young man, you really aren't selling it?" What a pity. It looked so meaty. It would surely smell delicious once cooked.

"Not for sale," Li Wenchuan refused. "I raised this chicken specially. If you don't believe me, I'll show you."

He set Coo Coo on the ground and ordered, "Raise your wing."

The auntie watched as the hen actually stretched out one wing and slowly placed it on Li Wenchuan's outstretched palm.

"Put it down. Raise your foot."

Coo Coo performed the golden rooster standing on one leg—in every sense of the phrase.

The auntie stared, dumbfounded. "Holy hell, that's amazing..." This chicken was even more obedient and clever than her dog.