As she kept a wary eye on their surroundings, she couldn't help thinking, Did he get that bodysuit taken in another size? The way it hugs his ass...
And so, on the screens of hundreds of millions of viewers back on Earth,
the camera obligingly gave Homelander's firm, perky backside, wrapped in his bodysuit, a full three-second close-up.
[Ward the hell! This camera operator gets it! When it matters, they give us the close-up!]
[Is this America's Ass? No! This is Earth's Ass!]
[I want to slide down that...]
[That bodysuit material looks great... I mean, it looks breathable.]
[Screenshot! Screenshot! Am I allowed to see this for free?]
Up ahead, Homelander was delivering a perfectly "serious" introduction to the alien landscape when a rapid string of alerts suddenly sounded in his head.
Alert! Popularity Points +7,255! Alert! Popularity Points +6,652! Alert! Popularity Points +8,878!
Huh?
Homelander paused, confusion crossing his face.
He'd only been describing a rock shaped like a kidney stone. What was so exciting about that?
Had the viewers back on Earth developed such unusual tastes? Were they that interested in geology?
"Looks like everyone's eager to learn the mysteries of the universe."
Homelander spoke to the camera with a gratified smile.
"That's good. Curiosity is the ladder of human progress."
Beside him, Jessica was frantically telling herself, Don't look there... Don't look there... Don't look there...
But the subconscious was like a beach ball held underwater: the harder she pushed it down, the harder it sprang back.
As Homelander took a step, the camera instinctively followed and caught another shot.
This time, from the front.
The lens caught the faint outline beneath the fabric as his thigh muscles tensed, along with a bulge that made cheeks burn.
The picture obligingly zoomed in again.